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A neighbours/ fence issue (sorry it's long!)

(48 Posts)
VelvetSpoon Tue 18-Apr-17 17:03:20

I've posted before that I don't get on with my neighbours. I don't like them, and the feeling is clearly mutual. This op is going to be mega long so i wont go into the backstory, unless people feel it's necessary? Their house (and garden) are quite small, as previously it was one larger house, like mine, but has been split into two. House size is relevant as they have a lot of children for such a small space, hence kids spend a lot of time unsupervised in the garden.

There is a pretty standard fence between our two gardens, wooden panels and concrete posts. A while back, one of the panels blew down. It is the panel where they seem to rest their bikes and also have a raised bed behind it, so it had become bowed. However as eventually my plan is to replace all the panels, bf and I fixed it temporarily and got it back up.

Before we did, Mr NDN put a snotty note on my door (sellotaped it on!) about how the panel was dangerous to his kids as it was leaning into their garden, blah blah. This annoyed me. I've not spoken to him since.

More recently, prob about a month ago, the panel blew down again, and it's now not really repairable. So I've left it. Panel is propped against my house, so nowhere near ndn house or garden. So I didn't expect them to have a problem...

Yesterday while I'm outside doing the garden one of the ndn kids tells me that her dad says I need to repair my fence(!). My response was if he's got something to say he can tell me himself.

He hasn't, but later when my bf arrived (we don't live together as ndn well know) ndn said to him the fence needed fixing! Bf replied that was for me to sort out and not his problem.

I am waiting for them now to tackle DS1 or 2 about it.

AIBU to think ndn should just get over it and wait? Am I missing something because he seems to me to be behaving like an entitled arse...the whole issue seems to be he doesn't want to supervise his kids in his own garden (they are often outside from 7.30-8, and always without a parent) but because they can get into my not kid friendly garden he or his wife now have to keep an eye on them.

BeansMcCready Tue 18-Apr-17 17:05:18

If it's your fence, you should fix it. And if it's inconveniencing your neighbours, you should fix it quickly. YABU, (even if your neighbour is an arse)

scurryfunge Tue 18-Apr-17 17:05:47

If it's your fence and it broken, why not fix it properly?

WiddlinDiddling Tue 18-Apr-17 17:06:10

First of all....

This thread is incomplete without a diagram - please feature both neighbours kids and items that make your garden not child safe within diagram.

Secondly, no wait, that was all I had.

Actually ... is it actually your fence? Because it would be hilarious if it was actually NDN's fence.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Tue 18-Apr-17 17:07:13

Big 6 ft solid fence then forget they exist. .

Seeline Tue 18-Apr-17 17:07:14

Personally I'd be wanting to keep the kids out of my garden myself, not relying on an arse my neighbour to do it, if the kids are usually unsupervised.

pinkblink Tue 18-Apr-17 17:08:26

Going against the grain here.... I'd be even slower getting the fence sorted if the neighbour is being a prick about it, it's not affecting you

witsender Tue 18-Apr-17 17:08:28

You all sound pretty rude tbh.

OvO Tue 18-Apr-17 17:09:21

If they want a fence they can build a bloody fence.

Your not obliged to make their garden secure and safe. That's their job.

FrancisCrawford Tue 18-Apr-17 17:09:27

It's none of his business

You could chose to remove the fence entirely if you wished

Unless The lack of a fence panel is not having a negative impact on him in relation to your property, (e.g. You have a dog roaming around the garden which could get into his) then it is nothing to do with him

SpreadYourHappiness Tue 18-Apr-17 17:09:29

It's your fence, you need to fix it. YABU.

Gatehouse77 Tue 18-Apr-17 17:09:39

If it's a fence that you're legally responsible for then you're being an arse not getting it fixed or communicating directly with your neighbour when the situation first arose. There's no sense of 'entitlement' on his behalf - he is entitled to having secure, safe fences.

If you're not legally responsible then he's being an arse.

usernumbernine Tue 18-Apr-17 17:10:37

If it's your fence he can go whistle.

If it's his fence then it's up to him.

You have no obligation either way to fix the fence.

GinSwigmore Tue 18-Apr-17 17:13:30

If it is your fence and you are liable for it then I would sort it asap. Surely you can replace the one panel then do the rest at a later date (that's what I did. One at a time, same creosote colour, even let NDN have the nice side). Unless you are saving for ultra posh fencing, one
panel won't cost the earth.

ThatsNotMyMummy Tue 18-Apr-17 17:13:57

If it's your fence you need to fix it.

Kids are kids and come out with things like that, but yes as the home owner he should talk to you about it.

Floralnomad Tue 18-Apr-17 17:14:18

Why should the OP fix it quickly , she tried a temporary fix and it didn't work , perhaps she can't afford to fix it now and it's not an inconvenience to her having the fence down . If the ndn wants a fence then he can put one up on his side of the existing fence .

loveka Tue 18-Apr-17 17:14:31

Why do you not want a barrier between you and them?

There is no law that says you have to have a fence. If you look on the deeds it may say who is responsible for maintaining the boundary. If the deeds say nothing then you are jointly responsible. Whoever bought the fence owns it, but you don't have to have one at all.

GinSwigmore Tue 18-Apr-17 17:15:49

^ But I would make it clear that if they park cycles against it and the new one goes then he can rep!lace it next time/go halves.

GinSwigmore Tue 18-Apr-17 17:15:59

^ But I would make it clear that if they park cycles against it and the new one goes then he can rep!lace it next time/go halves.

wonkylegs Tue 18-Apr-17 17:18:05

Unless you have a covenant on your property requiring you to maintain the fence, it's up to you what you do and when you do, there is no law requiring you to fix or even have a fence. If he wants to keep his kids safe in his garden he needs to put up a fence in his property. On the other hand if you want to keep his kids out of your garden fix your fence.

GinSwigmore Tue 18-Apr-17 17:18:30

She doesn't have to but who wants their NDN kids trespassing/getting balls back etc wink

SaucyJack Tue 18-Apr-17 17:18:34

What's kid-unfriendly about your garden?

Regardless of the legal rights and wrongs between you and your adult NDN, it's not really cricket to leave access exposed to a pond or whatevs. It'd be a bit of a shame if a toddler drowned over a petty fence dispute.

GinSwigmore Tue 18-Apr-17 17:18:40

She doesn't have to but who wants their NDN kids trespassing/getting balls back etc wink

GinSwigmore Tue 18-Apr-17 17:19:13

Sorry, trigger happy sausage fingers

mum11970 Tue 18-Apr-17 17:23:06

Fix it when you can afford to, not before. You have no obligation to fix it until you are ready to do so. If your ndn wants it fixing sooner he can go and buy a fence panel himself.

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