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AIBU?

A neighbours/ fence issue (sorry it's long!)

47 replies

VelvetSpoon · 18/04/2017 17:03

I've posted before that I don't get on with my neighbours. I don't like them, and the feeling is clearly mutual. This op is going to be mega long so i wont go into the backstory, unless people feel it's necessary? Their house (and garden) are quite small, as previously it was one larger house, like mine, but has been split into two. House size is relevant as they have a lot of children for such a small space, hence kids spend a lot of time unsupervised in the garden.

There is a pretty standard fence between our two gardens, wooden panels and concrete posts. A while back, one of the panels blew down. It is the panel where they seem to rest their bikes and also have a raised bed behind it, so it had become bowed. However as eventually my plan is to replace all the panels, bf and I fixed it temporarily and got it back up.

Before we did, Mr NDN put a snotty note on my door (sellotaped it on!) about how the panel was dangerous to his kids as it was leaning into their garden, blah blah. This annoyed me. I've not spoken to him since.

More recently, prob about a month ago, the panel blew down again, and it's now not really repairable. So I've left it. Panel is propped against my house, so nowhere near ndn house or garden. So I didn't expect them to have a problem...

Yesterday while I'm outside doing the garden one of the ndn kids tells me that her dad says I need to repair my fence(!). My response was if he's got something to say he can tell me himself.

He hasn't, but later when my bf arrived (we don't live together as ndn well know) ndn said to him the fence needed fixing! Bf replied that was for me to sort out and not his problem.

I am waiting for them now to tackle DS1 or 2 about it.

AIBU to think ndn should just get over it and wait? Am I missing something because he seems to me to be behaving like an entitled arse...the whole issue seems to be he doesn't want to supervise his kids in his own garden (they are often outside from 7.30-8, and always without a parent) but because they can get into my not kid friendly garden he or his wife now have to keep an eye on them.

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BeansMcCready · 18/04/2017 17:05

If it's your fence, you should fix it. And if it's inconveniencing your neighbours, you should fix it quickly. YABU, (even if your neighbour is an arse)

scurryfunge · 18/04/2017 17:05

If it's your fence and it broken, why not fix it properly?

WiddlinDiddling · 18/04/2017 17:06

First of all....

This thread is incomplete without a diagram - please feature both neighbours kids and items that make your garden not child safe within diagram.

Secondly, no wait, that was all I had.

Actually ... is it actually your fence? Because it would be hilarious if it was actually NDN's fence.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 18/04/2017 17:07

Big 6 ft solid fence then forget they exist. .

Seeline · 18/04/2017 17:07

Personally I'd be wanting to keep the kids out of my garden myself, not relying on an arse my neighbour to do it, if the kids are usually unsupervised.

pinkblink · 18/04/2017 17:08

Going against the grain here.... I'd be even slower getting the fence sorted if the neighbour is being a prick about it, it's not affecting you

witsender · 18/04/2017 17:08

You all sound pretty rude tbh.

OvO · 18/04/2017 17:09

If they want a fence they can build a bloody fence.

Your not obliged to make their garden secure and safe. That's their job.

FrancisCrawford · 18/04/2017 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpreadYourHappiness · 18/04/2017 17:09

It's your fence, you need to fix it. YABU.

Gatehouse77 · 18/04/2017 17:09

If it's a fence that you're legally responsible for then you're being an arse not getting it fixed or communicating directly with your neighbour when the situation first arose. There's no sense of 'entitlement' on his behalf - he is entitled to having secure, safe fences.

If you're not legally responsible then he's being an arse.

usernumbernine · 18/04/2017 17:10

If it's your fence he can go whistle.

If it's his fence then it's up to him.

You have no obligation either way to fix the fence.

GinSwigmore · 18/04/2017 17:13

If it is your fence and you are liable for it then I would sort it asap. Surely you can replace the one panel then do the rest at a later date (that's what I did. One at a time, same creosote colour, even let NDN have the nice side). Unless you are saving for ultra posh fencing, one
panel won't cost the earth.

ThatsNotMyMummy · 18/04/2017 17:13

If it's your fence you need to fix it.

Kids are kids and come out with things like that, but yes as the home owner he should talk to you about it.

Floralnomad · 18/04/2017 17:14

Why should the OP fix it quickly , she tried a temporary fix and it didn't work , perhaps she can't afford to fix it now and it's not an inconvenience to her having the fence down . If the ndn wants a fence then he can put one up on his side of the existing fence .

loveka · 18/04/2017 17:14

Why do you not want a barrier between you and them?

There is no law that says you have to have a fence. If you look on the deeds it may say who is responsible for maintaining the boundary. If the deeds say nothing then you are jointly responsible. Whoever bought the fence owns it, but you don't have to have one at all.

GinSwigmore · 18/04/2017 17:15

^ But I would make it clear that if they park cycles against it and the new one goes then he can rep!lace it next time/go halves.

GinSwigmore · 18/04/2017 17:15

^ But I would make it clear that if they park cycles against it and the new one goes then he can rep!lace it next time/go halves.

wonkylegs · 18/04/2017 17:18

Unless you have a covenant on your property requiring you to maintain the fence, it's up to you what you do and when you do, there is no law requiring you to fix or even have a fence. If he wants to keep his kids safe in his garden he needs to put up a fence in his property. On the other hand if you want to keep his kids out of your garden fix your fence.

GinSwigmore · 18/04/2017 17:18

She doesn't have to but who wants their NDN kids trespassing/getting balls back etc

SaucyJack · 18/04/2017 17:18

What's kid-unfriendly about your garden?

Regardless of the legal rights and wrongs between you and your adult NDN, it's not really cricket to leave access exposed to a pond or whatevs. It'd be a bit of a shame if a toddler drowned over a petty fence dispute.

GinSwigmore · 18/04/2017 17:18

She doesn't have to but who wants their NDN kids trespassing/getting balls back etc

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GinSwigmore · 18/04/2017 17:19

Sorry, trigger happy sausage fingers

mum11970 · 18/04/2017 17:23

Fix it when you can afford to, not before. You have no obligation to fix it until you are ready to do so. If your ndn wants it fixing sooner he can go and buy a fence panel himself.

VelvetSpoon · 18/04/2017 17:26

I believe it is my fence.

I'm happy to have a fence, i currently do have a fence with one missing panel, but replacing that panel is just not a priority for me right now, I have a lot of other things going on (I work Ft, in fact this week am working in an office 150 miles from home and commuting daily! Also am a single parent, other responsibilities etc).

I would prefer to replace all fence (8-10 panels) in one go rather than piecemeal. I can't get a panel in or on my car, and most places locally won't deliver 1 panel, and I'm at work in the day anyway. I can't afford to replace the whole fence right now, nor have I really got time to cut back bushes etc so I can put new panels in.

I haven't seen their kids in my garden, that's just what was said. There's no animals but there's lots of uneven surfaces, prickly bushes, etc.

If he wants to put up a fence panel himself I have no issue with that, but I don't feel he can oblige me to replace this panel?

I should add his fence on the other side of his garden is constantly falling down but because that's his fence he seems to ignore it!

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