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Think internet sex addiction is an excuse

(5 Posts)
Calvinlookingforhobbs Tue 18-Apr-17 14:25:47

Caught DH sexually messaging someone he met online and uncovered a whole history of this behaviour too. I've said I want a divorce. He is claiming to have a problem and desperately wants help. He's contacted various agencies (GP, shrink etc).
We have three young DC, and it's not an especially happy marriage. Am I being conned with this claim of illness and addiction, can I wash my hands of him?

ImperialBlether Tue 18-Apr-17 14:29:12

It's not a happy marriage besides that, though, is it? I wouldn't pay any attention to him now and would advise him to get help so that he doesn't mess anyone else's life up, but that you've had enough.

halobean Tue 18-Apr-17 14:35:50

ltb

nelipotter Tue 18-Apr-17 14:55:06

I am in no way suggesting that he's worth another chance or that you shouldn't be rid of him if that's what you want, but the internet can be seriously addicteive. Last year when I was having a nervous breakdown a rough time I became obsessive with social media, news sites, mumsnet etc, and some porn sites.... I would read pages and pages of entire MN threads, look at social media until there was literally no posts from anyone I hadn't seen, read entire newspaper websites. I would stay up til late in the night/morning and then be exhausted the next day. It affected my life badly... It was a shitty coping mechanism and the counsellor I was seeing at the time was not up to speed with it, she just said leave your phone in the next room. hmm But it was compulsive for me. Took me ages to come to terms with it, and really it was just because the rest of my life improved that I didn't use it as a crutch any more.
I'm better now, except for when I get really tired/overwhelmed and its like a comfort action or something.
So he should def seek help with a professional who is equipped to deal with the particular ramifications of internet addiction. But you don't have to put up with it if you don't want. Exclusively sexual based internet addiction is pretty specific too...

Calvinlookingforhobbs Tue 18-Apr-17 16:32:08

sad

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