He refused to go to school AGAIN today and I am sick of all this stress and worry . He was complaining last night (due to today being first day back after Easter hols) that he had a massive headache and was feeling 'crap' so I told him to go to bed. He was awake most of the night and this morning refused to get up saying he was ill. He is 6ft 3 and said he would run away if I made him.
We had arranged with school before the end of last term that he only goes in for mornings as he has had almost a month off as he was refusing to go to school and when he got there he was hiding in the toilets and missing lessons. GP signed him off with anxiety.
He has been referred to the Emotional Wellbeing Service but as he is not at risk of harm to himself or others, there will be a long wait and he won't engage with anyone about his feelings anyway.
He has severe learning difficulties combined with ADHD which has caused a lot of behavioural problems with repeated fixed term exclusions and threats of permanent expulsion. He is still working at least 4/5 years behind the average on paper and forecast to fail all his GCSE's, although his 6 year old brother is academically ahead of him so it's worse than that. He is a social outcast and even his twin brother won't hang with him as he does things to embarrass him.
I have tried to get him into a SEN school but it very unlikely that the LEA will agree to it. We have a long awaited meeting about this at the end of the week and I just know what the outcome will be. I'm not sure if an SEN school will be right for him anyway as his issues aren't as 'visible' as the other kids who attend there are and there is concern that he may be disruptive. Moving him to a new mainstream school will just be the same crap, different school.
I have had 10 years of this shit (since Reception) with calls from school, meetings, and feeling like I am being blamed for being a shit parent (have low self esteem anyway) because I just can't get him to 'conform' and I am at the end of my tether!
I have had to battle the system to get him extra help and I am just exhausted especially as he either won't or can't help himself. I understand why he doesn't want to go to school, he doesn't want anyone to see him to take the piss out of him. We managed two days out during this school holiday and he insisted on wearing his big coat with the hood pulled up covering most of his face in hot sunshine, making himself even more visible, constantly saying he wanted to go home. If he could, he wouldn't leave the house.
I don't know what to do with him. 'Homeschool' him until he's 18 and then let him claim ESA with his DLA for the rest of his life? I want so much more for him and I dread to think how he's going to end up .
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
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AIBU?
to just give up on DS (15) getting an education and let him stay at home playing on his XBox all day?
58 replies
PorkyPandora · 18/04/2017 14:13
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