Holiday plans ruined

[winterbaby85]

I'm currently on maternity leave so money is tight due to one income. Myself and my husband discussed going on holiday this year but June July and August are out due to high prices and OHs work commitments. DS1 starts school in September so I looked at holidays over the October mid term and got a great deal so I booked it provisionally months ago after discussing it with OH. The holiday came up in conversation two weeks ago and OH goes what date is it again and I told him to which he goes I think that's the day I'm doing the marathon (which it is). I've now tried changing the dates/destination we go and it's working out approx £300 more which we can't afford. I don't understand why he didn't tell me the marathon was on when I discussed the holiday with him initially. There are a few runs and marathons he's doing this year and tbh I don't know the exact dates of them but he should have checked when I brought up booking the holiday for October.

[Tulipblank]

Holiday trumps races in our house. There are loads of marathons. He can change to one on a more convenient date.

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

Can he run the marathon and join you afterwards?

However yes I'd be annoyed too -a family holiday should take priority over a run.

[Chloe84]

YANBU. He should forego the marathon. Will he lose money?

[Crumbs1]

Sounds like he had marathon booked ahead of holiday. Do you not discuss in more detail dates, venue, timings etc before booking? If he's a regular marathon runner he might change but there is so much training involved he's a right to be peeved that you didn't think to check properly before booking.
Maybe rather than just assuming he'll happily give up his event try and work something out together - joint responsibility rather than you getting cross with each other. I think you should have checked before booking.

[peukpokicuzo]

If there are a few runs and marathons he is doing this year then he can drop out of the October one. There are dozens of other marathons on other days that he could do instead the list is huge

You and DC stick with the plans. He can choose whether he values his family more than this specific run.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Start using a calendar? We have linked google calendar accounts so can see joint/individual commitments wherever we are.

I'd say a holiday trumps running, but I guess if he's booked the New York marathon or something that's a big deal.

[mummymeister]

you need to invest in a calendar that you both keep fully up to date so clashes like this don't happen. in our family if its not on the calendar then it isn't happening! we have a lot of children to juggle as well as work and social so it really is a vital thing.

he can run a marathon on any weekend he chooses somewhere in the UK. you can only take your family on holidays in school holidays. does he really put a higher value on a hobby than time with his kids?

[pinkyredrose]

If he's doing good several marathons surely he can miss one so that you all get a holiday?

[Huldra]

I would hand the problem back to him seeing as he agreed to the initial dates. What does he think should be done? Does he think you should lose deposits? Try to juggle dates and incur more costs?

[TheNaze73]

The run is more important to him than the holiday

[KingPrawnOkay]

If he booked it after you booked the holiday then he shouldn't go. Even if he did book before he should have told you he couldn't do the dates. But equally as a marathoner myself I know how disheartened I'd be to have to cancel - there's so much training and places for decent marathons get filled up so quickly it's not as simple as "picking another marathon" and it's more than just a race. If it's in the U.K. I'd suggest he joins you afterwards but if it's abroad, I guess a holiday comes first but he might take some persuading!

[OliviaBenson]

Surely he can just forego the marathon? It's his problem he forgot. Family holidays should be more important.

[WateryTart]

He needs to drop the marathon.

[Ledkr]

If he won't drop the marathon I'm afraid I'd just go with dc.

[WellyMummy]

Holiday overrules marathon, especially given the date constraints and as it is family verses solo event. Invest in a calendar.

[emmyrose2000]

Marathon gets dropped. Family holiday takes precedence. No brainer.

[edwinbear]

He should drop the marathon. Especially if he is doing a few this year. If you discussed the dates you planned to book and it didn't even register with him there was a clash, this can't be a major one for him.

[honeycheeerios]

Unless he is doing a major marathon in another country and it involves hotels, flights etc and will cost money to change, he is a complete and utter twonk moving or cancelling a family holiday over it. But even then, he should still cancel.

His fault. He should have checked when you discussed holiday dates.

I would be so pissed off if he insisted on doing he marathon instead of a family holiday. I wouldn't accept him doing he marathon then joining you after either. Why should you deal with all the airport shit and stress on your own.

[RedSkyAtNight]

Unless the marathon is a huge deal (he's using it as a major fundraiser for a charity that is important, for example) I'd agree with others that he just misses it. or if timings and locations allow he takes time out of the holiday to run the race and joins you for the rest.

I would second others that you need a calendar though - with your DC starting school you will have loads of things to keep track of!

[juneau]

If he's doing several marathons this year then your family holiday should come first, particularly as it's already booked and paid for and it's your only family holiday this year. He failed to notice the date clash, therefore it's his fault and he should suck it up and come on the holiday.

[JennyOnAPlate]

He needs to forget about the marathon. If he won't, go on holiday without him.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Don't marathons cost a lot of money to enter. If money is tight, why is he doing so many, assuming he's not a sponsored, professional athlete?

Can he sell the place to someone else?

[NotStoppedAllDay]

Marathons can be £30-£70 to enter

It's the rest which adds up. Which one is it?

[The80sweregreat]

is the holiday abroad? if its in the UK then he could join you after he has run the race i suppose. I wouldnt cancel for that - it was an oversight but if he is doing loads of others this year , then he could miss one of them!

[user1471518295]

Ridiculous. He could be injured before the race (for example) and then no holiday OR marathon. He can do it another time. Cannot believe you are even having to ask the question!