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To give this date another chance?

(16 Posts)
totallynewname Tue 18-Apr-17 01:38:34

A couple of months ago I was dating a man who was nice, intelligent and had a fair amount in common with me. I stopped because my life became really really crazy and also I didn't feel anything 'special' about him. He was just ok in bed blush and our dates were fine, but not amazing. We didn't even really speak in between dates. I basically wrote him off (not in a horrible way)

We went out about 5 times, and recently we've texted on and off. I'm starting to think I might have judged him a bit too harshly, and now he's asked me several times to go on another date.

AIBU to start this up again, I'm a bit torn because on the one hand it kind of fizzled out but now I'm less busy and stressed I keep thinking about him.

KC225 Tue 18-Apr-17 01:57:06

It doesn't sound as if there was a 'spark' there. If you had said one or two dates, maybe but FIVE and you slept with him. I would say let sleeping dogs lie. It doesn't sound like it would happen second time around.

To coin a phrase, you're just not that into him

TeacupsAndDaffodils Tue 18-Apr-17 02:00:05

Go for it. If you don't you will always wonder 'what if'. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

pollypeanuts Tue 18-Apr-17 02:18:57

I don't see what harm can come from giving it another chance. If you keep thinking about him, that's an indication that you think it's a complete write off. If it doesn't pan out, you just stop again. No need for any drama and you might be pleasantly surprised.

pollypeanuts Tue 18-Apr-17 02:19:37

There's a don't missing in that post!

FreeNiki Tue 18-Apr-17 02:23:24

You wrote him off but did you tell him it was over? Or just ghost?

He has asked you out again and you've been texting so I assume you didnt end it and just stopped seeing him.

Now no one else is on the scene after you dated him 5 times and slept with him perhaps you want to revisit.

If a woman said a man behaved that way then she'd be told to forget him.

You're stringing him along while being clearly not interested or very nice.

FreeNiki Tue 18-Apr-17 02:24:28

Your dates werent special he wasnt good in bed...just leave him to find someone who likes him.

TheStoic Tue 18-Apr-17 02:26:17

What have you got to lose?

As long as you don't string him along, it's worth a second shot.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 18-Apr-17 03:35:10

Ask yourself if you want your life to be fine and OK. Possibly fading to boring and a bit shit.

The man I dated before I met DH was fine, OK in bed and a nice person. Fair amount in common and he was a good bloke. Thank goodness I didn't carry on with it because there would have been no space for DH to arrive and be all kinds of gorgeous.

CookieWarbler Tue 18-Apr-17 06:54:43

I've been there several times OP! Every time I thought I'd give the date another go I always regretted it, I'd realise quite quickly that my initial assessment was right. Trust your gut, it's there for a reason. I know it seems a shame when he's a 'nice' guy but there will be a nice guy in the future who alsp happens to make you giddy - that's worth waiting for - I'd chalk it up and move on.

Crunchymum Tue 18-Apr-17 07:49:05

Settling never works, even at this early stage, and it is incredibly unfair on the poor guy you are 'making do' with.

daisychain01 Tue 18-Apr-17 08:26:19

now he's asked me several times to go on another date

He just fancies some no-strings sex.

<voice of cynicism>

totallynewname Tue 18-Apr-17 08:39:29

The man I dated before I met DH was fine, "OK in bed and a nice person. Fair amount in common and he was a good bloke. Thank goodness I didn't carry on with it because there would have been no space for DH to arrive and be all kinds of gorgeous."

@MrsTerryPratchett I think you're right.

KnobJockey Tue 18-Apr-17 08:43:40

Haven't a second chance, but go on your instinct from that next date and call it quits if there's no spark.

If you had your head and heart in other issues while you went on those dates, it might not have been a true reflection of him but instead that you didn't have space for him in your life right then.

totallynewname Tue 18-Apr-17 11:03:05

@KnobJockey I also see your point. I was so stressed with work and I had recently come out of a long relationship and I was a bit 'argh!'

Not sure if it was him personally

highinthesky Tue 18-Apr-17 11:10:37

Well agree to see him again.

When you feel yourself fill with dread rather than excitement as the date approaches, it will confirm he's not for you.

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