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WIBU to tell this woman off?

(73 Posts)
knickerdrawerofdoom Mon 17-Apr-17 19:37:12

This is really bothering me for some reason- wondering if I overreacted but think not... what do you lot think?

Last night on the tube, about 6pm, got on with DS in the baby carrier on my front. Was super crowded so stood in the big space by the doors.

Three pretty drunk women were leaning against the door, and a bit all over the place. There was nowhere else to go, and DS was a bit fractious so I just cuddled him up with my free arm. DS was looking around and kept staring at the drunkest of the three women (he's 7mo), and the drunk woman said something to her friends, then gestured at me and DS.

Then DS jumped out of his skin, and I heard the one of the women say "don't do that to the baby" to the drunkest woman. I look down and she has hold of DS FOOT! And it in a cute way. It was very odd- obviously her friend though so too.

DS was clearly not happy, so I looked her in the eyes and said firmly "no. Really DONT do that to my baby". She then proceeded to "stare me out". I refused to look away, and a man behind me who had seen this happen, asked another passenger to stand for me.

This woman carried on staring across the carriage, then lowered her sunglasses when I refused to look away (still had her face turned in my direction).

I'm not really that ashamed to say, my old northern lairy ways came to the fore, and I did loudly say to my DP (who hadn't seen any of this as he was stood quite far away until we moved), that if she didn't desist, I'd be forced to give her a slap.

I'm really NOT that sort of person... but my blood was boiling... and I was really quite worried she was going to come over and do something else.

She got off at the next stop- because of me or not, I'm not sure... but today I'm wondering if I'm becoming a bit of an overprotective PFB nutter- or was I right to be so cross with this woman?

Prepared to be told to chill!!!!

pigeondujour Mon 17-Apr-17 19:39:31

I wouldn't still be worrying about it now, to be honest. Also threatening to 'give someone a slap' isn't really on either. I'd just forget about it, drunk people can be a pain in the arse.

pencoedfarmersmarket Mon 17-Apr-17 19:40:57

Some times women are the worst when intoxicated. You should not worry, this woman was acting like a lout so she got treated like one. Forget it now.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 17-Apr-17 19:41:26

Glad you are OK as 3 pissed women wouldn't have been my first choice to piss off on a train. .
Lioness moments kick in at the wrong times sometimes though!!

knickerdrawerofdoom Mon 17-Apr-17 19:42:31

I'm not so bothered about that woman. I'm more worrying about my reaction...

It really ISNT on to say you'll slap someone - and it's really not my usual nature at all.

Just felt SO enraged for a (few) moment(s).

FourToTheFloor Mon 17-Apr-17 19:42:51

I personally think you did the right thing. If someone touched my baby and then tried to intimate me I'd be letting them know too how I felt.

SuperPug Mon 17-Apr-17 19:43:02

She sounds nuts.
Even in a really drunken state that's a weird thing to do.

quietcountrylanes Mon 17-Apr-17 19:43:28

You would not have been unreasonable to ask her not to grab your baby's foot but in all honesty I think the belligerence came from you.

glitterglitters Mon 17-Apr-17 19:43:57

Stranger touches my baby without my permission? Yadnbu.

I probably wouldn't have even warned her 🙊 #imhonestlynotthatviciousreally

Wolfiefan Mon 17-Apr-17 19:44:53

Never threaten to give anyone a slap. Least of all a pissed person. And never with a vulnerable baby strapped to you.

ClopySow Mon 17-Apr-17 19:45:38

I went absolutely fucking bananas at a homeless woman who threatened me in front of my children once. Lioness does come out when you least expect it. Don't beat yourself up.

WorraLiberty Mon 17-Apr-17 19:46:59

Sorry but you sound like an idiot.

Staring someone out and threatening to give them a slap when you're carrying a 7 month old baby?


CuppaTeaTeddy Mon 17-Apr-17 19:47:06

A strange, pissed lady was touching your baby. You didn't touch her so I wouldn't worry.

Allthewaves Mon 17-Apr-17 19:47:37

What if she had started and fronted up to you because you had started being aggressive - you risked putting yourself and your baby in harms way. You were stupid trying to stare her out

ScarlettFreestone Mon 17-Apr-17 19:47:42

It sounds upsetting and you were right to tell her to let your baby go.

Unfortunately you lost the moral high ground when you publicly threatened to assault her.

What would you have done if she'd taken you up on it? While carrying your baby?

I understand it was a reaction borne out of fear and anger but it's worth considering what kind of danger you could have put yourself and the baby in by escalating the situation with the staring and threat.

knickerdrawerofdoom Mon 17-Apr-17 19:47:45

Thank you for not all piling in to tell me to se someone about my anger issues. I'm v gentle usually- and don't think I've really "lost my temper" since i was a hormonal teen.

Oh .... and when I was a hormonal pregnant womanblush

Think I'll give my head a wobble in future before I start getting all Eastenders on people in crowded places...

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 17-Apr-17 19:48:31

She was being unreasonable, but pissed people often are. You were being unreasonable to threaten violence a) generally and b) particularly when you had your baby.

Allthewaves Mon 17-Apr-17 19:48:37

I'm northern and Iv never threatened to slap anyone - it's hardly the 'northern way'

Mulberry72 Mon 17-Apr-17 19:48:49

*What Wolfie said*

ScarlettFreestone Mon 17-Apr-17 19:49:41

One piece of useful advice I was given years ago us to look up at the ceiling if you are very, very angry.

Apparently something about that physical motion helps calm
you down.

WorraLiberty Mon 17-Apr-17 19:49:55

And blaming hormones and being Northern, is hardly taking responsibility for your temper.

knickerdrawerofdoom Mon 17-Apr-17 19:51:49

Oh my god exactly- I know it was utterly stupid given I had DS- and I'd be horrified if he'd been old enough to understand what I was saying.

I think it was just one of those times adrenaline took over... and I absolutely won't respond in the same way if something like that happens again- given how much it's bothering me I obviously know I went OTT in some respects.

SandyDenny Mon 17-Apr-17 19:52:05

I don't live in London which might be skewing my reaction but I think you went well over the top, why not just move away or ask her not to touch your baby?

You do sound agressive to me, would you really get physical with a stranger?

quietcountrylanes Mon 17-Apr-17 19:52:17

I'm a bit fucked off with the insinuation that Northern people routinely behave in this way. We don't confused

knickerdrawerofdoom Mon 17-Apr-17 19:53:28

sandy I did ask her not to. As did her friend. It was the second time she'd done it.

And from that snapshot, yes I sound terrible. But it's extraordinarily out of character for me.

It's not a London thing- it's a me being stupid thing.

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