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To think that a basic knowledge of sex does not rob a child if innocence?

(52 Posts)
malificent7 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:19:02

Dd has known how babies are made since the age of about 5 when she asked how babies were made.
I didnt go into unecessary detail but ive made it clear that it is normal and natural.
She is now 8 and some of those close to me are shocked that she knows about the facts of life. This is made worse as she talks about boys and girls "going out" at school. By this she means they ask each other out and then never talk to each other again apart from to dump them.
Some people are shocked and think its too young and its because she knows about sex.
Imo thus is all completely batueal. Dd is just as much into fossils and Santa as she is into the dacts of life.

Aibu to think that educating your child about sex does not mean that they will be overly sexualised and hit tinder before the age of 16?

malificent7 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:19:37

Completely natural even!

Gallavich Mon 17-Apr-17 16:20:34

Of course it doesn't. When kids ask, parents should answer!

UnicornButtplug Mon 17-Apr-17 16:21:47

I am open with my kids, age appropriate but facts.

SleepFreeZone Mon 17-Apr-17 16:21:53

I think the language is important. I'm trying to tell DS things as I go along but am I keen to start using the word vulva and vagina for example? Not really no, so I'm probably being a bit more childish with the words I use and as he gets older I will be more descriptive.

MysweetAudrina Mon 17-Apr-17 16:22:47

I've always told mine and answered any questions they had honestly. Never got the connection with destroying their innocence either.

MrsJayy Mon 17-Apr-17 16:28:11

Maybe not at 5 but certainly my dds knew how babies were made by 8 years old the mechanics yanbu it gets it out of the way and children that age dont have the awkward giggles say a 9/10 yr old has and there is no sit down big talk either. She asked you told her job done.

Trb17 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:31:01

DD interrogated me for a fortnight on the facts of life when she was 8. I answered honestly and age appropriately and she was fine with it. I think if they ask you should answer and if they grow up feeling they can talk to parents without embarrassment it's better than learning from 'mates' in the playground and getting it wrong.

From Y3 onwards we had the old 'going out' malarkey and I recall doing that in junior school many years ago myself!

All totally normal and in no way leads to sexualisation at early age. In fact I dare say those kids who are kept from the answers/info they seek are probably more likely to be intrigued by things they don't know about.

WhooooAmI24601 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:35:16

DS1 was 5 when I had DS2. He asked so I told him the truth (in as innocent a way as possible). He's always asked questions and I tend to think if they're old enough to ask they're ready for the truth. It's certainly not robbed him of any sort of innocence.

We've also used the correct words for anatomy since they were tiny; there's nothing vulgar or inappropriate about a child knowing the difference between penis and vagina. At school we were given safeguarding training about protective behaviours which stated that knowing the correct words for their private parts leaves them less vulnerable in a situation of abuse because they have the vocabulary and knowledge to protect themselves a little more. It shouldn't come to that, they should be protected and safe in every situation, but it always stuck with me.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Mon 17-Apr-17 16:36:44

My kids all knew about sex and the correct terms for everything by about 5 or 6.

Now that I have a couple of teens as well as younger ones they cone to me and ask all sorts of things because they know I will answer honestly and not fob them off.

I was determined to be open with my kids because, in my case, lack of knowledge stole my innocence. I was abused as a child and I didn't know it was wrong. My mother gave me 'the talk' when I was 13 which was far too late.

lanbro Mon 17-Apr-17 16:36:51

I'm open with my kids, age appropriate language but my 3 and 5 year old know that they were made from an egg and a seed in my tummy, and how they got out!

0dfod Mon 17-Apr-17 16:38:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DJBaggySmalls Mon 17-Apr-17 16:38:59

I grew up on a farm. It was wonderful, the miracle of birth never got old. I dont feel my innocence was destroyed by it.

metalmum15 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:44:01

I've always been honest with my kids and talked about sex and babies since they were young (age appropriate obviously, not giving full details! ) I'm not sure why people confuse their kids with fairytales then have to tell them the truth. Sex is natural and children need to understand there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

I'm not sure what year your daughter is in, but in my DDs school sex education lessons start in year 5 anyway.

metalmum15 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:44:04

I've always been honest with my kids and talked about sex and babies since they were young (age appropriate obviously, not giving full details! ) I'm not sure why people confuse their kids with fairytales then have to tell them the truth. Sex is natural and children need to understand there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

I'm not sure what year your daughter is in, but in my DDs school sex education lessons start in year 5 anyway.

sirfredfredgeorge Mon 17-Apr-17 16:46:10

The going out and dumping each other is much more depressing, I'd say, what a sad role play of adult life.

metalmum15 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:48:21

sirfred my dc always laugh at the 'going out' thing. Even my 12 year old asks her friends "So where do you actually go ?"

metalmum15 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:48:24

sirfred my dc always laugh at the 'going out' thing. Even my 12 year old asks her friends "So where do you actually go ?"

Wolfiefan Mon 17-Apr-17 16:48:35

I hate it when parents of teens talk about having "the" talk. Too late by then. And it shouldn't be one talk. It should be an ongoing conversation. You're not sending them off to work in the sex trade. You are giving them information that they need as they get older. It's not losing their innocence to know about sex or parts of their own body. confused

Sisinisawa Mon 17-Apr-17 16:52:28

At five my dd watched her brother being born. She actually is still unclear on how he got in there but she hasn't asked that. She was very interested in him coming out but thought it involved too much blood!

malificent7 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:55:07

Its this notion that dd will surely want ot if she knows about it. Er no.... she thinks it is gross.

pushingthroughcracks Mon 17-Apr-17 16:56:47

YANBU

On the contrary I feel a basic knowledge can enable them to keep their innocence for longer.

Beardsareweird Mon 17-Apr-17 17:00:01

I must have been to quite a progressive Catholic primary school because in 1974, when I was 7, we had sex education lessons. I knew all about it, because my mum had tole me where babies came from when I had asked her a couple of years previously!

WhispersOfWickedness Mon 17-Apr-17 17:03:11

Same as a pp for me, I might have been protected and kept my 'innocence' if I had known more about sex and what was inappropriate as a child sad

ColourfulOrangex Mon 17-Apr-17 17:04:16

My son has just turned 6 and I am pregnant with his sister, he asked how babies are born he got a very brief but suitable answer to which he replied "eww that's disgusting i wasn't born like that" grin but I would rather he came to me to ask - he wasn't interested in how she was made

On a slightly different topic since he was about 2 I always taught him no one is to see his willy or bum except myself and a doctor or someone if I say it's Oki

I don't think it robs them of innocence I think it's good for them if they ask to be honest but obviously suitable to their age, I would much rather be learnt this from myself than the kids at school

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