I discovered last night my my 14 year old had left the house at nearly midnight to get the train to his girlfriend's town (also 14). He had put bags in his bed to look like a body sleeping. He had been acting suspiciously earlier which is why I checked on him (came into my room twice to say 'goodnight', or rather, to check I was falling asleep...) He left the house through a door to the outside which is in my laundry room which he also left open so he could sneak back in in the morning...
Ds and girlfriend are at the same boarding school, but home happens to be towns about 15 mins from each other. They have been going out for about a month. She has been grounded this holiday and had her phone taken away so they've had no contact over Easter, until she got her phone back a few days ago.
They clearly couldn't wait the few days until they saw each other again at school, so planned for my ds to get the train to her town at midnight, she would also sneak out of her house, and they would 'hang out' until the morning.
I'm so angry they would do this - so dangerous and sneaky. By the time I realized he was gone (10 mins) he had already got on a train and was waiting for a connecting train at a different station. I obviously called him and ordered him home immediately, and when home asked him to show me text messages to prove he was actually planning to meet his girlfriend (and not anyone else), which he did.
I've never met this girl or her parents, but I feel it's important that they also know what the two of them were planning. As they are boarders I can't take the parents aside at school, won't bump into them etc. I told ds that the girlfriend needs to give me her mum's number, but he is refusing to as he's trying to protect her from getting in trouble again. So I've said I will have to contact the school to get my number passed on to the mum and will tell her what has happened.
AIBU in doing this? I know if I was the other mum I would want to know, but I also don't want to get this girl into trouble. What should I do?
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AIBU?
AIBU to tell the mother of my son's gf about their clandestine plans?
64 replies
pleaseadvise · 17/04/2017 13:39
OP posts:
FrancisCrawford ·
17/04/2017 14:04
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