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To think 18 yo can order her own drink?

(58 Posts)
BlueySnakey Mon 17-Apr-17 13:16:39

Currently away and there is a bar. No need to pay as you get a bill at the end of the day. DD(18) still makes me go up and get her a drink! WIBU to say she can get it herself?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 17-Apr-17 13:17:46

Of course she can get it herself, don't do it for her.

HelenaWay Mon 17-Apr-17 13:18:46

Perhaps she's shy?

stuckinthehouse Mon 17-Apr-17 13:18:48

That's ridiculous.

ImperialBlether Mon 17-Apr-17 13:19:23

Does she get ID'd if she goes herself?

BlueySnakey Mon 17-Apr-17 13:19:30

Yes, she is a bit shy, but I really don't think it's good for her to still not be able to do it?

BlueySnakey Mon 17-Apr-17 13:20:33

She doesn't want alcohol, it's bloody Fanta orange!

FrancisCrawford Mon 17-Apr-17 13:20:42

You'd be very unreasonable to let her continue under the mistaken assumption you were put on earth to run around at her command.

If she wants a drink she goes and gets one. And before she does that, she asks anyone else in the party if they would like a drink while she was at the bar.

It's basic manners.

BlueySnakey Mon 17-Apr-17 13:20:53

But no, they don't seem to ID here anyway! It's strange!

MuttsNutts Mon 17-Apr-17 13:21:26

Of course she can do it herself. I'm amazed you are even asking the question confused

I dare say there are a lot of things I wouldn't bother doing myself if I had a slave to do them for me!

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 17-Apr-17 13:21:43

She needs to learn to speak up regardless of how shy she is.

PurpleDragon76 Mon 17-Apr-17 13:21:59

Making her do it will build confidence. I encourage my kids to order things they want (OK I am stood right behind them) to build independence. Make her do it, its not mean

Chippednailvarnishing Mon 17-Apr-17 13:23:40

My NDN "kids" do this, i find it ridiculous that their parents even entertain it.

lostatsea1 Mon 17-Apr-17 13:23:55

I would imagine she is nervous about doing it - go with her for the first time and build her confidence.

deblet Mon 17-Apr-17 13:24:06

I understand how she feels but she has to learn to do it. I am 50 and I still hate going up to a bar. But being able to do basic things like buy something is just a life skill we have to do, my autistic son is 24 and still struggles to talk to shop assistants and order a meal in a pub but I make him do it. We won't be here forever.

Sparklingbrook Mon 17-Apr-17 13:26:42

I would get one for my 18 year old if I was getting one myself.

I can understand why a shy 18 year old girl would be a bit shy about going up to a bar in a foreign country on her own.

I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it on holiday when it's supposed to be a relaxing time.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 17-Apr-17 13:27:44

I think sometimes people that aren't shy Don't realise how hard it can be, yes if your not shy it's simple but for someone very shy it can be difficult! I am late 20's now and have only been able to do it since I met dh and he really helped my shyness and boosted my confidence amazingly.

Making her do it certainly won't instantly boost her confidence. You can encourage her say " oh go on x your be ok" or go to the bar with her on the agreement she speaks? But forcing her/making her will do no good

FrancisCrawford Mon 17-Apr-17 13:28:09

At 18 presumably she is able to ask for a bus fare, tell the hairdresser how she wants her hair done etc.

It's a basic life skill.

If she doesn't want to ask for a drink then she's going to get very thirsty.

HarrietSchulenberg Mon 17-Apr-17 13:29:01

She can borrow my 10yo to help her. He's desperate to order drinks everytime we're in a bar. He's occasionally allowed to get himself a bag of crisps if the landlord looks friendly enough.
Your dd does need to do this. Perhaps stand near her but make sure she orders for herself?
Does she buy from shops OK or is it just bars that are a problem?

Obsidian77 Mon 17-Apr-17 13:29:35

I misread this as 18 months and thought "wow, a bit harsh".
At 18 years I would say she can manage...

Neglectedbythesun Mon 17-Apr-17 13:31:58

I'm quite shy, so I can relate to this. Social anxiety is overcome by doing the things you're scared of. Buying her own drink is a good low level challenge.

AnnieAnoniMouse Mon 17-Apr-17 13:33:49

Why have YOU allowed this carry on until she's 18? Nuts.

Parker231 Mon 17-Apr-17 13:35:29

How does she order a drink when you're not there?

WaxingGibbous Mon 17-Apr-17 13:35:33

Is it a foreign language place you are away? I'm nearly 40 and still hate ordering when I don't speak the language.

happypoobum Mon 17-Apr-17 13:35:34

I don't understand. What does she do when she's out on her own or with friends?

Is it the "being in forrin" that is the issue?

Does she not holiday with friends - what would she do then?

It's all very odd.......

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