To think 18 yo can order her own drink?

[BlueySnakey]

Currently away and there is a bar. No need to pay as you get a bill at the end of the day. DD(18) still makes me go up and get her a drink! WIBU to say she can get it herself?

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Of course she can get it herself, don't do it for her.

[HelenaWay]

Perhaps she's shy?

[stuckinthehouse]

That's ridiculous.

[ImperialBlether]

Does she get ID'd if she goes herself?

[BlueySnakey]

Yes, she is a bit shy, but I really don't think it's good for her to still not be able to do it?

[BlueySnakey]

She doesn't want alcohol, it's bloody Fanta orange!

[BlueySnakey]

But no, they don't seem to ID here anyway! It's strange!

[MuttsNutts]

Of course she can do it herself. I'm amazed you are even asking the question

I dare say there are a lot of things I wouldn't bother doing myself if I had a slave to do them for me!

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

She needs to learn to speak up regardless of how shy she is.

[PurpleDragon76]

Making her do it will build confidence. I encourage my kids to order things they want (OK I am stood right behind them) to build independence. Make her do it, its not mean

[Chippednailvarnishing]

My NDN "kids" do this, i find it ridiculous that their parents even entertain it.

[lostatsea1]

I would imagine she is nervous about doing it - go with her for the first time and build her confidence.

[deblet]

I understand how she feels but she has to learn to do it. I am 50 and I still hate going up to a bar. But being able to do basic things like buy something is just a life skill we have to do, my autistic son is 24 and still struggles to talk to shop assistants and order a meal in a pub but I make him do it. We won't be here forever.

[Sparklingbrook]

I would get one for my 18 year old if I was getting one myself.

I can understand why a shy 18 year old girl would be a bit shy about going up to a bar in a foreign country on her own.

I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it on holiday when it's supposed to be a relaxing time.

[Pinkheart5915]

I think sometimes people that aren't shy Don't realise how hard it can be, yes if your not shy it's simple but for someone very shy it can be difficult! I am late 20's now and have only been able to do it since I met dh and he really helped my shyness and boosted my confidence amazingly.

Making her do it certainly won't instantly boost her confidence. You can encourage her say " oh go on x your be ok" or go to the bar with her on the agreement she speaks? But forcing her/making her will do no good

[HarrietSchulenberg]

She can borrow my 10yo to help her. He's desperate to order drinks everytime we're in a bar. He's occasionally allowed to get himself a bag of crisps if the landlord looks friendly enough.
Your dd does need to do this. Perhaps stand near her but make sure she orders for herself?
Does she buy from shops OK or is it just bars that are a problem?

[Obsidian77]

I misread this as 18 months and thought "wow, a bit harsh".
At 18 years I would say she can manage...

[Neglectedbythesun]

I'm quite shy, so I can relate to this. Social anxiety is overcome by doing the things you're scared of. Buying her own drink is a good low level challenge.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Why have YOU allowed this carry on until she's 18? Nuts.

[Parker231]

How does she order a drink when you're not there?

[WaxingGibbous]

Is it a foreign language place you are away? I'm nearly 40 and still hate ordering when I don't speak the language.

[happypoobum]

I don't understand. What does she do when she's out on her own or with friends?

Is it the "being in forrin" that is the issue?

Does she not holiday with friends - what would she do then?

It's all very odd.......

[Happyhippy45]

My son and daughter both went through stages of "not wanting to ask."
.....and so did I when I was younger

The only way to resolve it is to not do it for them every time.

If she really is anxious then say ok you'll get her drink this time but she has to come with you. Next time she can go by herself.