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To find this person on course I"m doing very selfish

(11 Posts)
user1485342611 Mon 17-Apr-17 12:44:07

I'm currently doing an evening course in creative writing. It's two hours a week for just four weeks so time is precious.
There's six of us on the course and one man, in his mid forties, is constantly trying to turn the discussion around to himself, his family, his business etc with the tutor having to politely stop him.

When we emailed some examples of writing for children around the group for discussion and feedback at the next class, he actually showed our stuff to his own children without agreement and tried to give us their feedback as well as his own. Again the tutor intervened very firmly and politely told him 'no way'.

AIBU to think he's a selfish PITA who should realise people are paying good money and travelling to the class after work to listen to him and his life story? He's really getting on my nerves.

ImperialBlether Mon 17-Apr-17 12:48:37

I think he should have couched his own children's feedback as his own - I don't think he did anything wrong, really, in showing them your work.

He is selfish if he keeps talking about himself though - that time is for your work, not for him to chunter on!

user1485342611 Mon 17-Apr-17 12:54:14

I've been on several creative writing courses and it's always understood that work circulated to the group is for the groups' eyes only. These are often not just exercises, but work that the writers are hoping to develop into more professional pieces to submit to publishers, so respecting the.confidentiality of fellow participants was important.

ZaziesPaws Mon 17-Apr-17 12:57:57

Oh god, I know what you mean. YANBU.

We did an art class recently, and there was a girl on it like that.

She was trying to get straight into art school and was trying to make a ten week evening class do the work of a year long foundation course.

Everyone in the class just sort of made it clear that everyone should get a reasonable amount of individual attention I.e. 5 minutes each session, by going over and asking the tutor questions whilst she was trying to hog him.

He twigged after a few classes, and made sure he went over to her last so everyone else got a turn first.

onalongsabbatical Mon 17-Apr-17 12:58:41

The tutor needs to get him under control. It's part of the tutor's job to make sure that people get their fair and appropriate amount of feedback and attention from the tutor and the other members of the group. If you feel it's going seriously wrong and this guy is taking up too much time, could you have a quiet word with the tutor? Tricky to sort it on such a short course, though. Is the tutor young and possibly a bit inexperienced in class dynamics management?
YADNBU to be annoyed, though, you signed on for the course and what you want to get from it is precious to you (I write, and I've done a lot of courses, so I know how important the feedback and attention is to something as sensitive as writing). So I'd encourage you to stand up for what you want, and possibly interrupt the timewaster chap. I wonder if the issue of his children's feedback is just more of the same - him thinking of himself as uber-important and not understanding that he needs to give other people the space to participate, too. Maybe he wants to be teacher's pet?

Rachel0Greep Mon 17-Apr-17 13:18:43

There must be one of those types in every class / group, unfortunately.
Hopefully the tutor continues to rein him in.

dinosaursandtea Mon 17-Apr-17 13:36:53

Oh good GOD. And of course it's an older man. I've run creative writing courses, and I'd have kicked him off by now. His behaviour has been unacceptable. Email a complaint and ask for a refund if his behaviour doesn't improve.

SorrelSoup Mon 17-Apr-17 14:00:09

No matter where you are or what course you're doing, there's always one! And if there isn't it must be you!

WandaOver Mon 17-Apr-17 14:06:49

I've just finished my second creative writing course. The first was a delight with lovely people sharing work and giving gentle feedback. The second was dominated by a woman who wouldn't shut up. Hours wasted listening to her and the tutor nodding and smiling instead of teaching.

user1485342611 Mon 17-Apr-17 14:34:08

Thanks for the comments. Glad people agree with me.

ThreeLeggedHaggis Mon 17-Apr-17 14:47:30

There's one of these on every course. It's great your tutor is dealing with it because ours indulged it!

There are many free writing workshops online, by the way, where you are in complete control of who to give feedback to and receive it from. I'm a novellist and would never pay for this kind of thing.

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