People keep commenting on diet(12 Posts)
I'm doing LCHF (low carb high fat). I don't talk about it. So, at Easter meal, why do people feel the need to comment on what I'm eating. They do know, and for health reasons. First of all I have FIL asking in front of everyone, are you slimming or something, you haven't got much? (but, to be honest, he has done this for ever, seems to think is is funny, sigh). Then, my vegan niece asking me how the diet is going, what is it again, to which I say fine. But then get told how she feels we need to treat ourselves, it is Easter after all and goes into how she has exercised to burn off the treats in advance. It seems to be seen as some kind of criticism. Also comments about 'Oh, she wants the clotted cream' and raised eyebrows. It was tricky, as they had made lots of huge choc cakes and did feel a bit rude to refuse. Bit happily, I just don;t find lots of sugar a treat anymore, in fact it tastes really sweet. I was happy with my bit of roast chicken, veggies, and bowl of berries and cream.
AIBU? I wouldn't comment on others diets and never encourage her to eat meat, I respect the choice of being vegan even though I wouldn't be myself. Shouldn't others respect others choices in the same way, even if they don't agree?
YANBU. As well as being down right uncouth and bad mannered. People are far too over invested in what other people do.
I honestly couldn't give a shiny shit what anyone eats. I've still got to pay my mortage. Whether or not someone has a full cake to themselves or a bowl of carrots.
I've got enough worries of my own.
Get me a box to stand on
I thnk maybe next time, I will give one word answers, Great, thanks, feel fab, then change the subject.
YANBU, everyone in the world is an expert on diets I have also found being
obese overweight apparently gives everyone carte blanche to comment on everything you eat. I don't think it gets better once you've lost the weight either sadly.
Worst offenders tend to be people who have never been fat so have no idea what you are talking about or how you might find eating different to them, or fat people with no intention of dieting who want to feed you.
I would have made some allowances for Easter, and probably challenged the comments from the vegan, but generally the less people know about what diet you have chosen the better. Leaves you free to be 'just not that hungry today' and change the subject without having the third degree.
Yes, good plan. and yes SIL and her daughter are very slim, and both of the low fat ilk. Also MIL in fact. So a bit outnumbered. So what kind of think could I say to the vegan if it starts again? They probably wouldn;t get the high fat stuff, but I could try I suppose..
I'd just point out that you don't try to convince them to eat meat/say their diet is unhealthy and you would be grateful if they could do the same for you.
DH is slim
bastard and he had literally no understanding at all of emotional eating/secret eating/carb cravings etc etc. He just eats one biscuit a day and puts the packet back in the cupboard. However he is not an insensitive git so quickly understood what I was on about and makes no comments about my weight at all. Unlike his parents...
You've done brilliantly for sticking to it over Easter bloody well done. I hate it when people draw attention to what you are eating. Definitely use some of the responses above !
"I'd just point out that you don't try to convince them to eat meat/say their diet is unhealthy and you would be grateful if they could do the same for you."
That's a good point. Thanks.
How about "I respect your food choices. Please respect my autonomy in the way I respect yours". Accompanied with a fixed stare.
If she persists, continue with "Of course, we can also discuss osteoprosis, anaemia and Alzheimer's. Are you sure you're getting enough calcium, iron and B12 to avoid developing those?" And "So how do you monitor the food miles in your diet?"
I worry about her tbh, she is quite young and intense. DS (12) has gone veggie after speaking to her, I have managed to get him to consider eating fish though.
I could also rave in about how I love fat, and how nice it is to eat cream, cheese etc without worrying (as they all are very scared of fat). And smile. And if they ask, tell them to read books like the Big Fat Surprise, and go on and on about the low fat diet and how it bad it is now thought to be. I haven't done this yet, as don't want to scare or worry them.
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