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Worries about DS holding back moving

(7 Posts)
Welshgirl2008 Mon 17-Apr-17 07:04:30

I live in an expensive part of the country (SE), can't afford to buy a house and want to move west to a cheaper part of the country and nearer family. However, I think my worries about DS, 9 are stopping us. He is a sensitive soul and I worry the move would devastate him. However I also feel that it would be a better idea to give him a year of primary to settle before secondary school. But then it's 2 lots of potential disruption coming up with effectively 2 school changes.
Aibu to ask how on earth people navigate situations like this without it really affecting the kids.
I'm trying to do the right thing long term for the family but it feels so complicated.

luckylucky24 Mon 17-Apr-17 07:12:58

If he is going into year 6 this September then I would probably wait until next summer. They put a lot of pressure on kids in year 6.

user1491572121 Mon 17-Apr-17 07:13:14

Would you be renting if you moved?

I've moved my children from the Uk to Australia. They were ages 10 and 7 when we moved. My older DD was/is a very sensitive sould too. I was very worried about it as all her friends in primary would be going off to UK high schools and she'd have to begin a middle school in a completely different culture.

It hasn't been without it's hiccups but by and large 18 months down the line I can clearly see it has been the best choice to make.

I know it's worrying but you can't stand still in life just incase your children can't adjust easily.

You could stay where you are and then in one year's time, he could find he hates his current school or something and then you'd think "Why didn't I move?"

Children have to learn to cope with change in life...it's good for them actually. When he grows up, he will have that experience as part of his armour. Well...not when he grows up but within the next few years!

My only advice is to upsell it too him but don't go on about it too much. Once you make the choice tell him in a matter of fact fashion "We're moving! We're getting a much better house and we'll be near Grandma!"

Don't focus in on "And you will have a new school"

Take each step as it comes. Involve him in the choice of new house...let him see the options so he feels like he has some control.

When he does finally leave his school, try to choose the end of a term.

TerrorAustralis Mon 17-Apr-17 07:15:56

If you're ready to move now, then go. I think it's easier moving when children are younger. Younger children tend to form friendships more easily than teens.

You can do a lot to help mitigate the difficulty of the move for him. Help him prepare for it, and talk to him about why you are going and what the advantages for him will be. Help facilitate potential friendships in the new area by inviting classmates or neighbours over to play.

Honestly, he will probably mange it a lot better than what you imagine.

Welshgirl2008 Mon 17-Apr-17 07:23:07

He'll be in year 5 from sept so 2 years until secondary and yes, renting to start. At the moment, I am not sure which town or area etc but what I have realised is that the worries about DS settling are stopping me from making or even really considering what is essentially a better move. It's also hard when you have lived in one place (our current town) for a long time- it's a big move for all of us

DoublyTroubly Mon 17-Apr-17 07:26:41

Remember that you really need to have moved before application deadline for secondary school too!

Trifleorbust Mon 17-Apr-17 07:46:47

I'd do it. Hesy find it hard but if the move is the best thing for your family, don't delay it.

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