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to ask how you feel when someone is at the opposite end of the faith spectrum?

(624 Posts)
Morphene Sun 16-Apr-17 22:05:54

I've recently discovered two separate people I have been getting closer to (professional/friendship wise) are at the other end of the faith scale from me. I have actually felt a little upset and unbalanced by it.

IABU? I mean I know I am, but do other people get this? Does it make a difference if you are the one with or without faith?

I am sure I will still get on just fine with them, but I feel a little sadness that in this important respect we are very far from each others wavelength.

WorraLiberty Sun 16-Apr-17 22:07:41

Why is it important?

I personally couldn't care less about someone's faith/lack of faith as long as it doesn't affect me (which it doesn't).

PurpleDaisies Sun 16-Apr-17 22:08:37

What do you mean? Is one an atheist and the other not?

I'm a Christian but have many close friends who are staunch atheists. It's only an issue if you want it to be. Have you thought about why it makes you feel so unbalanced?

loaferloveforyou Sun 16-Apr-17 22:09:45

As long as you both respect each other's beliefs then it's fine.

I don't like people saying negative things about my faith as I wouldn't do that to theirs (or lack of). With certain friends we just don't talk about it as it may lead to conflict and our friendship is fine otherwise

dudsville Sun 16-Apr-17 22:09:52

I'm guessing I'm at the opposite end from you as I don't have a "faith spectrum" or "no faith". I'm atheist and it isn't defined by the absence of faith. I do struggle with believers. But I'm not as flexible and accommodating as I'd like. I've cooled friendships/conversations when I learned that the other believed in God. I'm not proud of it.

Bitlost Sun 16-Apr-17 22:09:57

I really couldn't care less.

Wolfiefan Sun 16-Apr-17 22:10:47

Depends. If they tried to push their belief or non belief on me that'd be a problem. If they turned the conversation to their lack of faith or faith at every chance then I would have a problem.
If they just thought something different to me then what's the issue?

missyB1 Sun 16-Apr-17 22:11:34

As pp said as long as there is respect from both sides then it shouldn't be an issue.

SlaaartyBaaardFaaast Sun 16-Apr-17 22:11:35

Don't be. I am a person of Christian faith and I have some wonderful athiest, agnostic and faithful friends. Why should it come between you? I think the differences between my friends and I are healthy and encourage healthy debate, which also helps me to grow in my faith. I also love the diversity of people and different faiths or otherwise. Having faith or not, does not change who someone is or decrease/increase their intellect.

Take care and enjoy the diversity of all of your friendships x

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 16-Apr-17 22:11:56

I'm an atheist and do sometimes find it surprising which of my colleagues follow a faith. It doesn't bother me particularly though.

picklemepopcorn Sun 16-Apr-17 22:12:09

Many people are agnostic, atheist, or just not interested now. I am christian. It has never affected my friendships with any of them, or people of other faiths. I find it hard to get on with people who are unkind and disrespectful to others, apart from that I've never noticed it being a problem.

AnneofGreenGablesAgain Sun 16-Apr-17 22:12:37

I understand a little of what you mean - I think I will be the opposite end to you and am sometimes surprised to find close friends are different to me.

But when you take a breath and the surprise has died away I am sure you will feel that difference is refreshing, seeing the opposite perspective furthers understanding and that they are still the same wonderful people.

HunterHearstHelmsley Sun 16-Apr-17 22:13:04

It's only an issue if one parry insists on forcing their faith, or lack thereof, on others.

I'm a "non-believer" and only comment if the conversation is deliberately forced.

Camomila Sun 16-Apr-17 22:13:32

I think it would be hard for me to be married to someone who was completely different faith wise to me, but my friends are a variety of religions/devoutness/complete atheists.

It would bother me if they were rude/disrespectful about mine/others faith or lack thereof though.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 16-Apr-17 22:13:36

I'm an atheist. Great friends who aren't. From all over the faith spectrum.

It worries me if people are arseholes. But not religious.

AnneofGreenGablesAgain Sun 16-Apr-17 22:14:58

I don't volunteer my views but am honest if a situation arises where it would feel wrong not to be.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sun 16-Apr-17 22:15:05

I'm sorry you're upset. But really, assuming everyone you meet or like will automatically have the same beliefs as you do is actually very arrogant, no matter which side of the 'faith spectrum' you are on. The world is an extremely diverse place, why would you start from the assumption that anyone shares your beliefs?

Morphene Sun 16-Apr-17 22:15:23

hmm..its more of a situation where we have been going along swimmingly with a lot of 'oh thats exactly what I think too' and then womph - we crashed into faith.

I think its far less of a deal breaker than having opposing views on Brexit for instance....

Birdsbeesandtrees Sun 16-Apr-17 22:15:51

I find it very hard when I interact with otherwise sensible people, some of whom are are even scientists that believe in all kinds of things that have no proof whatsoever. I include things like ghosts/spirits/alien abductions and the like under that too.

I known of someone - colleague of a friend - who works in a scientific (medical) role who doesn't believe in evolution. It baffles me.

Obviously people can believe whatever they want but that doesn't make it logical. As long as it's a private belief and not being used to make laws or interfere with other people's lives then knock yourself out.

Morphene Sun 16-Apr-17 22:16:32

anne here's to that idea! yes - obviously we just see how it goes.

SomethingBorrowed Sun 16-Apr-17 22:16:37

It shouldn't make a difference. Faith is between a person and God.
I'm Christian, DH is an atheist and my best friend is Muslim - I actually have interesting deep conversations about God with her.

Morphene Sun 16-Apr-17 22:18:13

birds its a little of that tbh. We are all there is a slight 'wait what?' moment.

FelixtheMouse Sun 16-Apr-17 22:19:28

The only thing that would bother me was if they were one of those people who insist on telling you at length about their beliefs/non beliefs.

Sweets101 Sun 16-Apr-17 22:20:17

I don't really care, unless it follows on to other views i feel particularly abhorrent.

Birdsbeesandtrees Sun 16-Apr-17 22:21:20

Ah that makes more sense to me IYWIM because scientists tend to accept science and not..well none proven things. To me this would be quite a conflict with a religious belief and I find it hard to understand.

I am friends with a couple of scientists who are religious but accept modern science and so on. We tend just to not really mention it and it's a fairly private thing for both of them really I think. I'm aware of their beliefs as some of them centre around food and I've cooked for and eaten with both of them but other than that it's not really something we talk about grin

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