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To feel murderous rage at DH's faffing

(11 Posts)
Oysterbabe Sun 16-Apr-17 21:07:33

Anyone have a faffer in their life that leaves them fighting the urge to kill?

In laws visiting and I cooked a meal. Was just serving up and asked DH to lay the table and sort out drinks. A few minutes later I pop my head round the door and he has one of the chairs upside down on the table and is tightening it with an allen key. Apparently it seemed a bit wobbly so he thought he'd tighten them all. They are no more wobbly now than they were a year ago.

The other day he suggested we go to the allotment straight away as DD would probably nap and we could get some stuff done. Half an hour later DD is asleep on my lap and DH is reorganizing the medicine cabinet.

He can't just do anything ever. Is it too much to ask that we just leave the house sometimes?

booloobalooloo Sun 16-Apr-17 21:11:04

Hear hear! My hubby does the same. I tend to just get on with things and go. Give him a time you are walking out the door and do it.

outmyhair Sun 16-Apr-17 21:15:40

My DM and DB are both monumental faffers. But of course they're not the ones with a problem and I'm just 'impatient' angry

Goldenhedgehogs Sun 16-Apr-17 21:29:56

I share how annoying it is, i had a bit of a moment this morning as a Christian married to a non Christian husband he agreed to go to church with me and the kids today as today is such an important service for Christians. I am overjoyed he is sharing this with me, thinking maybe going might be first steps to him joining my faith. However church starts at eleven and at five past he is still in the shower. In my head we were going to have this perfect lovely family Christian Easter and reality was 100 times removed. So I have no solutions, I did try praying for peace and calm but can't say it worked for me today 😀

Bluntness100 Sun 16-Apr-17 21:36:14

My husband has an annoying variation of this, i don't know if it's faffing or procrastination, he says "right I'm going to do X" then sits down , puts the golf on and doesn't move. When j say "I thought you were going to do x" he responds " I am" then he does nothing. I have no concept of the mentality of this, if I intend to sofa surf, I say "I'm going to sofa surf and mumsnet and do fuck all" . If I say I'm going to do something I do it. I have genuinely no understanding of why you would say you're going to do something when you have absolutely no plan to do so.

Kalizahara Sun 16-Apr-17 21:41:12

He sounds quite useful oysterbabe my dh has a worse version of faffing.

He moans that he wants to go out and nags me to be ready, then when I'm at the door with shoes and coat on ready to go, he starts looking for his lost keys, wallet, phone, half an hour later we go out.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 16-Apr-17 21:45:47

ex is still alive, despite his bloody faffing.

dd worked him out when she was 7ish. used to add a significant chunk of time to his eta.

JaneEyre70 Sun 16-Apr-17 21:46:24

DH was actually a lot more helpful today than usual - the allen key story is soooo him!! - but he did get a bit of a moan from me when he decided to tidy up the hall coat rack and bags underneath it where I store all the carriers.....we had a houseful for lunch and he still hadn't hoovered the lounge 15 minutes before everyone arrived. We got up at 9, what he did between then and 12.30 still eludes me.......
"But it's so untidy" he said - I had to say our guests weren't going to look in there and the fact there was dog hair all over the lounge floor and we had young children coming bothered me far more.
Deep breath. Count to 100. And Calm.................

mumonashoestring Sun 16-Apr-17 21:55:56

DH used to do this (last time we moved house I was frantically packing boxes as fast/efficiently as possible, he was arranging our CDs alphabetically, then by release date, then packing them in alphabetical sections so they'd be 'sorted' when they were unpacked...). After a number of threats he's improved with the every day stuff but has moved on to meta-faffing. For weeks he's been insisting I take DS to my parents house for a long weekend so DH can do a spring clean without us under his feet. Lots of 'don't worry about (task), I'll handle it in the spring clean'. A couple of days before we were due to go he suddenly revealed that because 'we' hadn't hired a carpet cleaner (note how this suddenly became a we job) there wasn't any point him staying behind so he'd just come with us. So now I've used up leave from work, tired myself out running round after both of them and still have a house that needs a top to bottom strip & clean.

BigGrannyPants Sun 16-Apr-17 22:01:15

I have a faffer, I get totally enraged.... he takes 3 million hours to do anything... I have a 6 year old who puts on his shoes faster and my DS is by no means quick!

Ellieboolou27 Sun 16-Apr-17 22:37:43

I can feed, dress and wash dc and myself, walk dog, put a wash on, wash up breakfast dishes and still be ready to leave the house before dh, he is so bad that dd who's just 4 calls him daddy go slow blush not that she's picked it up from me I seriously could kill him at times as it's not just getting ready to leave it's EVERYTHING. angry
Even my family and friends comment grin

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