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To have told a woman this was horrible even though she was a customer and we're not supposed to say anything?

(63 Posts)
zukiecat Sun 16-Apr-17 19:18:58

I work in my local shop, I do a few hours each week

The shop is the only one really in the area that sells everything so most of the customers are regulars (and friends)

Not far away is a kind of residential unit for people who have psychiatric problems, they have their own wee flat within the unit, and there's carers on hand too

One chap who comes into the shop everyday and is always rushing and running about no matter what, he's a really friendly and open man who talks to everyone

Anyway he came in today to buy his juice, but he has no concept of queues, and most other customers are fine with this. Today he went in front of a mother and daughter, they both tutted and sighed, then came to my till

Here's my AIBU, the older woman told me that it was awful that he always pushes in front, but then she said "Oh well, he's a schizer, what do you expect?"

I politely said that that wasn't an acceptable way to talk about anyone, and it was really horrible, she just shrugged and then went on her way

This is the same woman that we had to speak to a while ago because she bought two scratchcards for her grandsons aged about 6 and 8, so her judgement is a bit off anyway

Do you think my response was ok?

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Apr-17 19:20:33

Yes, of course it was. She's an ignorant cow, well done for calling her on it.

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:21:34

If you had served everyone in the right order, it probably wouldn't have come up anyway. I understand he doesn't 'get' queuing but it's a natural reaction to be pissed off when someone jumps a queue.

The woman shouldn't have said anything though.

And not sure why the scratch card thing is relevant to her using disablist language?

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:22:04

If you had served everyone in the right order, it probably wouldn't have come up anyway. I understand he doesn't 'get' queuing but it's a natural reaction to be pissed off when someone jumps a queue.

The woman shouldn't have said anything though.

And not sure why the scratch card thing is relevant to her using disablist language?

TheMysteriousJackelope Sun 16-Apr-17 19:23:26

Your response seems fine to me.

zukiecat Sun 16-Apr-17 19:27:46

Abbey

I didn't serve the gentleman, he just jumped the queue, I was serving another customer, then this lady would have been next

Large local shop, four tills but one queue for them all

So my colleague should have served the woman, then the gentleman would have been next in the queue, but he jumped in first

LavenderDoll Sun 16-Apr-17 19:34:01

What's her buying scratch cards got to do her using disablist language
What she said was wrong but can understand people getting Pissed with queue jumpers.

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:35:16

You get assholes everywhere. If you challenge them all, you will have your work cut out

I know of people with ASD who would be stressed by someone 'breaking the rules'. I don't know many people who wouldn't have tutted though!

MyNewBearTotoro Sun 16-Apr-17 19:35:38

Your response seems fine and her language was vile, although I can see why she would be annoyed at somebody jumping the queue.

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:36:48

I'm sure everyone is going to tell you that you are brilliant though.

I wouldn't use language like she did but I wouldn't appreciate someone pulling me up in that situation

BillSykesDog Sun 16-Apr-17 19:37:51

Her language was really unpleasant and you were right to pull her up on it. But really you're not doing your job. If he jumps a queue you can perfectly politely and in a friendly way tell him that you will serve him in his turn. Personally I would say something like 'Good afternoon, so nice to see you, I'm just serving these ladies who have been waiting and I'll be with you in a moment'. You can see your other customers are annoyed so why are you not serving them in order?

I've never heard of a psychiatric condition which prevents you from queuing either. I think the assumption that he can't be treated like other customers and served in turn is a little disablist in itself.

NinaMarieP Sun 16-Apr-17 19:38:45

No I think what you said was fine. I had a similar one last week - a library customer came up and asked me to tell someone to stop talking so loudly. Not an issue in itself but it was "that Polish guy" followed by "its bad enough listening to other people's conversations without it being in another language."

Seeing as I couldn't hear the talking from where I was I went with "I'm sorry but I can't tell someone to stop talking because you don't like the language they're doing it in." Chap was not happy and accused me of being afraid to tackle him.

I followed that with a remark about it being incredibly offensive to single out someone for their nationality, nothing to do with me being afraid.

Unfortunately the customer is not always right and sometimes needs a polite rebuttal.

zukiecat Sun 16-Apr-17 19:39:52

I suppose the scratchcards have nothing to do with it

I guess I am being too judge, as I think a person who would buy scratchcards for young children wouldn't have the decency to not use disablist language

I detest scratchcards, and I think buying them for children is so wrong, but I will retract that statement in my OP

zukiecat Sun 16-Apr-17 19:41:02

I have already explained I did not serve the gentleman!!!

Serialweightwatcher Sun 16-Apr-17 19:42:32

Of course you were right to call her out on that - rude people need to be told they are rude enough times so that they rethink their attitude - well done you

KateDaniels2 Sun 16-Apr-17 19:42:39

What she said wasnt nice.

But it sounds like you just dont like her and used this opportunity to have a dig at her.

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:43:17

We get that but presumably you could still have spoken to him? Or your colleague could? It's either okay to pull customers up on their behaviour or it isn't

StillDrivingMeBonkers Sun 16-Apr-17 19:45:43

I think a person who would buy scratchcards for young children wouldn't have the decency to not use disablist language

Hoik them pants up a bit further

LavenderDoll Sun 16-Apr-17 19:45:56

What did you say to her about buying scratch cards?
How come you can speak to her about buying scratch cards but the other customer can push in at will

60sname Sun 16-Apr-17 19:46:55

I think your response was fine, if not the most professional (is there really a way to politely tell someone their comment is really horrible?)

But I would be annoyed if the staff in a shop didn't make even a token effort to stop someone pushing in.

MaisyPops Sun 16-Apr-17 19:49:41

Yes she was ok to make a sarcastic comme t about queue jumping

She was not ok to use such foul langauge.

Well done for calling her out on it.

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:50:17

It sounds like she was having a convo with her daughter - so she was a bitch but you were out of order chiming in.

She was probably pissed at you because you (plural - you and the one who served the man) didn't say anything to him but thought it okay to have a go at her

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:51:34

And if you get so bothered by scratch cards, you might want to get another job grin Or do you lecture all your customers about them grin

AbbeyBartlet Sun 16-Apr-17 19:51:56

And if you get so bothered by scratch cards, you might want to get another job grin Or do you lecture all your customers about them grin

PaulDacresFeministConscience Sun 16-Apr-17 19:54:29

I'd be more pissed off if I'd been in that queue and watched the shop staff let the comment slide without pulling it up. And if people would have felt unhappy for being pulled up on it - good. Disablism and discrimination has no place in society and the best way to counteract it is to shine a light on the behaviour when it happens. To make sure people know that it is NOT acceptable.

Yes he jumped the queue - he's no concept of queuing. And TBH for the extra 60 seconds that it probably added on to everyone's wait, I think it's a fair trade off given that a missing chromosone, or an illness or a head injury is the difference between me and him - there but for the grace of God and all that.

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