To look for another job....

[ThisAintALoveSong]

I've posted on here before regarding this matter but now I have a definitive answer.

Back story: I work miles away from where I live in a job which requires me to use my degree. It's fairly well paid and I have a pension and holidays/sick pay and all those kind of things.

Dp works self employed and has no fixed work pattern. He can work any number of hours in any given week but he is contracted so has to take the jobs when they come. They often involve early morning starts and very late pm finishes.

We have two young kids, both attend the childminders where I live. Downside is I have to be on the road for work at 8am and don't pick them up from CM til 6pm. All this has been fine. Up until now.

My oldest has been accepted at my second choice of primary school. If he was accepted at my first choice the childminder could have picked him up as she does pick ups from there anyway. The second choice is in a completely different direction from my CM's. I will still have to be on the road for 8am come September. But I won't have time to go one way to get oldest into breakfast club, get youngest off to CM's and be at work on time. Even in the eventually that that could happen - it really isn't feasible - I would have no one to pick oldest dc up. I don't get back to my home town til 6pm and I have to be picking youngest up from CM. The after school club finishes at 5:30pm. I have asked my employer if I can finish work earlier. Not possible in the role I do and I can see why from their point of view.

I'm in panic mode now. I've worried about the whole school saga for the last 12 months now and I thought getting an answer as to what school DS is going to would give me some relief but instead the reality is kicking in. I need to get another job closer to home don't I? The sort of job I do doesn't come around very often. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place

[Chloe84]

Sounds difficult, OP. I would talk to employers again and say there is a really strong chance you would have to resign from job due to no available childcare. Is it genuinely not possible or just a pain for them to sort?

So many parents are able to finish 4.30/5pm, with a bit of juggling of hours. I think you need to push harder on this.

[KayTee87]

Yep I would push harder. What does your husband do? Is it not possible for him to get an employed job with reasonable hours nearby the school?

[MudCity]

I think, n your position, I would start to look out for a new job just in case something suitable comes up which might work out better in terms of location or offer you more flexibility. It sounds like your current job is too long a commute from where you live anyway....time to put the feelers out for new opportunities.

Good luck!

[PumpkinPie2016]

That sounds difficult OP. You've probably thought of this but can you find a childminder for your eldest that drops off and picks up from their school?

Still a bit of a pain but might be worth a go? You could either leave youngest with current childminder or swap then to new one?

I know changing is not ideal but might solve the problem?

[StealthPolarBear]

Why does your oh get away with doing nothing at all?

[ThisAintALoveSong]

DO had said he will start to look for another job. But I have had anxiety about this matter for ages. I was on maternity leave with youngest not too long ago and seriously debating whether to go back to work as I knew I would be faced with this issue eventually. It really stressed me out, I hate uncertainty.

I'm going to appeal for the closer school based on my circumstances (fat chance but you never know).

Then I think a chat with my employer wouldn't go amiss just to reiterate the predicament I'm in. Which I told them I would be in upon my return to work.

I'm going to update my CV and see what is available near me. Most of the jobs that tend to come around where I live I would likely be overqualified for unless I took up teaching or something.

I don't want to let my employer down but I can't have it both ways

[ThisAintALoveSong]

DP*

[Welshrainbow]

Appeal to get into your first choice. I have a friend who won her appeal on the basis that she couldn't have childcare with the school allocated. She was the only person the win on appeal for that school so may be worth a try.
Alternatively can you find a new childminder that does drop offs and pick ups for the new school?

[harderandharder2breathe]

Is your job possible to do from home? So you could start later and finish earlier and make up the missed time at home?

Can you find a different childminder who will do drop off and pick up at the allocated school?

How big is the intake at the school you want? It's very difficult for schools to go over 30 in a class at infants but if the intake number isn't 30 or 60 then you may have a decent chance at appeal, though you should focus on why the school is best for your child rather than childcare issues.

[ThisAintALoveSong]

Thanks for the replies. Another childminder is an alternative I suppose but my kids absolutely adore my CM, she does so much for their wellbeing and learning. They are really feel secure with her.

There is absolutely no way I could do my job from home, it's in a scientific environment. I hope an appeal is worth it. The first school I picked was my preferred school for a long time. Conveniently and coincidently my CM moved to the street where the school is before she became a childminder. So it would have been handy regardless.

The second school, I am entirely happy with as a young relative of mine goes and he enjoys it and it is a really good school with the child's best interests at heart. I would have been happy with any of my three preferences but the first one is renowned for being an outstanding school in all areas

[Annoyedangelina]

Have you asked for family working hours at work already or not?

[Bovneydazzlers]

Go on the waiting list at your first choice school, much better chance of getting it that way than appeal.

[jobvcareer]

Try to appeal. Find out where on the waiting list your child is for a place at first choice school, if in top 5 it might not come to appeal if others drop out.
Find another childminder, although I have found very good ones to be in short supply so I can understand how you feel about that.
Can dh not do pick ups/drop offs and you move your hours around? Seems silly if he's at home he doesn't help at all with the logistics.

[LIZS]

Go on waiting list and look for another cm. Appeal will take time and as long as admissions rules have been correctly applied you are very unlikely to gain a place if the class is already full.

[Graceflorrick]

We had to change our hours to accommodate school hours, it's a nightmare - even worse when you factor in school holidays.

[Allthewaves]

Start looking for another childminder

[ThisAintALoveSong]

OH is out ridiculously early in the mornings as he can never predict how easy/difficult his jobs will be til he arrives on site. Hence I can't rely on him unless he changes jobs to more friendly hours.

Yes I asked for earlier finishes at work with a view to oldest starting school and they politely declined as the needs of my role wouldn't be met otherwise. Pain in the backside.

I will appeal but and may have to find alternative childcare arrangements if nothing comes of it. I feel like I will only be a half-parent and realistically I want to ensure things like homework etc gets completed. I'll basically be getting in from work and getting kids ready for bath/bed and oldest will be too tired to think about homework when he's already had a long day. I don't want him falling behind at school just for the sake of my work pattern.

[CatsRidingRollercoasters]

Could your eldest do breakfast club and the current childminder drop him off there before doing the school run with the others? The school where I teach has one from 8am and children can turn up any time from 8-8.30.

I know it doesn't solve your evening pick up issue though. Childminder couldn't pick up from after school club could she?

What does your OH do? If he's something in high demand like a plumber, maybe he could ditch the contracted work? The good plumbers in my area are turning down work, they're so busy. A friend's DH chooses all his work and is able to be flexible and do school runs etc.

I hope you get it sorted out. My eldest starts school next year. If she gets into our first choice then she can stay with the current amazing childminder, ds can go to ds's preschool etc. If she doesn't get in then we're screwed. We also work quite a distance away and are out the door at 7, picking up at 6. It's hard

[ThisAintALoveSong]

Cats my CM doesn't drive and the school my oldest is going to is about 2.5 miles away from her house . She would have to be up at the crack of dawn to accommodate me and with having her own child and other people's kids to give breakfast this wouldn't be feasible.

Dp is a joiner but has no say or control over the jobs he gets given or when they are. As a rule of thumb his working day can be anything up to 15 hours (that's a bad day) in order to complete hence his desire to get on the road as early as possible.

I will appeal but it could be in vain as I stated my reasons explicitly on my application form but I don't think councils take this stuff in to consideration. To appeal would be to state my reasons all over again. They didn't listen the first time. No wonder many women (in generalising here) feel the need to always make a toss up between giving up work after having kids or trying to maintain some semblance of a career. It would be a shame to chuck my otherwise cushy job away but my heart lies with my children

[Annoyedangelina]

Can you afford to leave your job?

[ThisAintALoveSong]

Just discussing that now with OH. We think it would be a squeeze but we would save a lot on childcare.

[Annoyedangelina]

Would you be happy at home full time?

[DoublyTroubly]

From the way you're talking, it sounds like your heart is in giving up work and trying to find another job closer to home, so I think you won't forgive yourself if you don't give that a try

[ThisAintALoveSong]

Thanks Doubly. I love my job but I long to be closer to my children for practical matters. I've already started looking at what's around here. Not much in the vein of my current job. My CV is in definite need of an update.

[GlitterGlue]

You could also take parental leave when they first start school to give yourself a bit more time to work things out/find a new job.

There is a chance you'll get in from the waiting list anyway so do get on that as soon as the schools reopen. Also look for other options. No nursery that offers out of school care as well? Another childminder?

It will be easier to find another job whilst you're in work so I wouldn't recommend quitting just yet.