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Or is this woman in my car!

(533 Posts)
NameSame Sat 15-Apr-17 19:51:44

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?


anyoldname76 Sat 15-Apr-17 19:53:14

tell her walk the ungrateful mare

NameSame Sat 15-Apr-17 19:53:48

Also sorry to dripfeed but the plan next time (if I give her another chance) is for me not to leave the car, for DP to meet us in the car park. Where he will get in the front and if she doesn't say thank you we won't say yes again!

BestMammyEver Sat 15-Apr-17 19:53:50


NameSame Sat 15-Apr-17 19:54:14

Thanks any

brummiesue Sat 15-Apr-17 19:54:26

How rude! Next time you are stopping to so some shopping on the way home, or popping into a relatives, any way its not convenient to give any more lifts grin

kittybiscuits Sat 15-Apr-17 19:54:38

You would be unreasonable to give her one more chance.

SweetBabyJebus Sat 15-Apr-17 19:56:00

Jesus! I'd be telling her to bugger off!

Sounds like a plan OP, don't give her the opportunity to get into the front.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Sat 15-Apr-17 19:56:01

She needs to learn some manners - maybe having to walk home would give her the time to think about her rudeness!

I'd be telling my dp that she couldn't have any more lifts, due to her bad manners.

Spadequeen Sat 15-Apr-17 19:56:11

I'd make plans to be going in a different direction the next time, so anloft home not possible. Either that or I'd wait in the car, they don't need you to walk to go and get them, and stay in the front seat. No way on earth would I let someone else take my seat unless they had a specific reason that they needed the from seat

helpimitchy Sat 15-Apr-17 19:56:53

She sounds horrible.

Pick your dh up, wait for her to come down for her lift, then drive off, at speed, whilst laughing maniacally at her whilst giving her the finger. Head off into the distance and leave her shock

Jobs a good 'un 👍🏼😀

Whitelisbon Sat 15-Apr-17 19:57:04

You're nicer than me, op, as she's have done it once, then she's have been walking home every night after that.
I wouldn't even be giving her another chance, although I'd probably give her a cheery wave out the window as I drove past her.

AssembleTheMinions Sat 15-Apr-17 19:57:35

No way would I be putting up with that. Say no next time and tell him why. He shouldn't let her freeze you out like that. I would be seriously unimpressed with them both.

ZilphasHatpin Sat 15-Apr-17 19:58:00

Well I was just about to ask why you even need to leave the car but I see you aren't going to do that again. That's the best plan. TBH I wouldn't be giving her another chance.

Emily7708 Sat 15-Apr-17 19:59:34

I would have shouted "you're welcome!!" at her the first time she got out without saying thank you. She'd have got one more chance but that would be it.

I'm trying to terminate a nightmare lift situation myself at the moment - it never fails to astound me how rude people can be even if you are doing them a massive favour.

BrandMombie Sat 15-Apr-17 19:59:50

Wow completely rude. I wouldn't even agree to this one final time, it would be a simple no we have plans and don't have the time for a detour. Sod her, ungrateful cow.

CookieLady Sat 15-Apr-17 20:00:11

What ridiculously rude behaviour. Don't bother to give her another chance.

LostMyDotBrain Sat 15-Apr-17 20:00:40

Far nicer than me too. She'd definitely only get away with it once and after that I'd expect an apology face to face before she got back in my car.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sat 15-Apr-17 20:01:26


And don't give her another chance I bet she has her eye on your OH

ThreeFish Sat 15-Apr-17 20:01:47

I would force her to acknowledge you. Speak directly and actively seek a response. Multiple times if necessary.
And march yourself up to the passenger door and tell not ask her to move to the back seat.
Then when she's dropped off, tell her no more lifts.

Has she never even offered petrol money to DP?

StealthPolarBear Sat 15-Apr-17 20:01:47

Ooh I love a good lift thread

Starlighter Sat 15-Apr-17 20:02:30

What?! Profusely saying thank you (to you!) with an offer of petrol money should be expected at least!

Unbelievably rude. I doubt I'd give her a second chance! And I certainly wouldn't be sitting in the back seat.

What does your DP say about it?

QuestionableMouse Sat 15-Apr-17 20:03:44

Tell her no and tell her why. She needs to be told that she's an ungrateful cow?

Starlighter Sat 15-Apr-17 20:03:48

What helpimitchy said! grin

LittleMissCantbebothered Sat 15-Apr-17 20:04:15

She fancies your husband. Blatantly.

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