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WIBU to allow a 12 year old in the sea by himself while I'm on a lounger?

(27 Posts)
ZitsAndBits Sat 15-Apr-17 15:05:30

WIBU to allow a 12 year old in the sea by himself while I'm on a lounger?

DelinquencyMatters Sat 15-Apr-17 15:06:10

Again? Why is this happening?

ProudBadMum Sat 15-Apr-17 15:07:09

Put him on an extendable lead

ZitsAndBits Sat 15-Apr-17 15:07:11


RedHelenB Sat 15-Apr-17 15:07:17

Yes if he goes in our if his depth and can't swim!

JennyOnAPlate Sat 15-Apr-17 15:08:18

Well I would say it kind of depends on how well he can swim

Coldhandscoldheart Sat 15-Apr-17 15:08:50

Would depend on so many factors. Can he swim? Where are you? Are you watching or sleeping? Is he playing with a float/inflatable?
Probably I'd go too tho.

What do you mean again delinquency?

ZitsAndBits Sat 15-Apr-17 15:09:08

He can swim very well, but is a slow swimmer? I'm not sure if that makes sense. I wouldn't be able to see him on the lounger.

RandomMess Sat 15-Apr-17 15:10:18

Are there safety flags on the beach for where the water is free from riptides etc?

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 15-Apr-17 15:10:22

Depends on the beach. Somewhere in Australia with rips, sharks and saltwater crocs; possibly not. Safe beach with no currents; don't see why not.

00100001 Sat 15-Apr-17 15:10:39

I would at least be keeping an eye on him But then I would do that with any other person in the sea - even if they were a strong/fast swimmer.

Is it a life guarded beach?

alleypalley Sat 15-Apr-17 15:10:50

Nice calm Mediterranean see, with little waves where they could go out far without being out of their depth. Yes.

Somewhere with big waves, rip tides or a steep drop off so they are suddenly out of depth. No.

Ginger782 Sat 15-Apr-17 15:10:52

Regardless of whether he can swim, it's a lot easier to get into trouble in the ocean. You are not being unreasonable, you are being a bit lazy.

mando12345 Sat 15-Apr-17 15:10:53

Yes YABU if you don't sit up and watch him.

clary Sat 15-Apr-17 15:12:30

Last time we went to the seaside as a family DC were 16, 14 and 12; I was fine to let them play/bodyboard in the sea without me being in with them.

I was on the sand and could see them tho - and would watch them most of the time. I used to go in with them but stopped that a few years ago. They are all strong swimmers and aware of tides/possible riptides and what to do tho.

ZitsAndBits Sat 15-Apr-17 15:12:43

It's a calm sea, barely any waves. The part we go to doesn't have a life guard, but could go to a bit that does. No flags.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 15-Apr-17 15:13:20

Missed that you couldn't see him. I keep an eye on DH if he's swimming alone in the sea.

Nanny0gg Sat 15-Apr-17 15:14:28

You can be on a lounger but you must be able to watch him.

Wolfiefan Sat 15-Apr-17 15:14:48

Not if you can't see him. No. Hardly any waves doesn't mean there are no under currents or rip tides or that he won't swim too far out and be unable to get back.

ZitsAndBits Sat 15-Apr-17 15:15:52

Okay smile thanks. I'll try and get a front lounger and sit up and watch him.

Floralnomad Sat 15-Apr-17 15:17:17

I'd at least go to the bit with the life guard .

Flossimodo Sat 15-Apr-17 16:05:15

I think yabvu, it sounds a pretty dangerou

I think yabvu, I would never have done this. But as I seem to be in the minority here maybe iabu.

Flossimodo Sat 15-Apr-17 16:06:39

Oops. Messed that post up. As you see though, I re thought the word dangerous.

MidniteScribbler Sat 15-Apr-17 16:14:15

It would depend entirely on the child. I'm Australian and was in a pool when I was three days old. We always had an unfenced backyard pool at home for all of my childhood. By five I was a confident swimmer in the pool and on the beach. At seven years of age I was allowed to go in the backyard pool alone for hours on end, I spent most of my time outside of school in the water. By twelve years of age my parents would let me go to the beach on a small island (that I now have a holiday house on) and leave me on the beach for the day with the other local kids. I'm an absolute fish, completely at home in the water, and could spend hours in the pool as a child, and still do as an adult.

But I still wouldn't do what my parents did with me with my own child. DS is five, a confident swimmer (has had swimming lessons since 6 months of age), but he's still not allowed near our backyard pool without me. He's not even allowed in when his aunt is looking after him and I'm not here as she is not a swimmer. It will be many years before he is allowed near the pool or beach without me being close by. It only takes a split second for something to happen, and it's just not worth the risk.

conserveisposhforjam Sat 15-Apr-17 16:17:14

Tbf I wouldn't let anyone I was with - child or adult - go into the sea if I thought there were any massive hazards there - e.g. undertows (or crocodiles!) Because what the fuck are you going to do about those things anyway? (Answer - watch them drown/get eaten).

But you should be able to see whether people you are with are going too far out or getting into trouble with cramp etc. Even strong swimmers if they are teenagers and therefore possibly likely to be poor risk assessors.

So no, YABU I reckon.

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