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Male chavanists or personality clash

(12 Posts)
whatisforteamum Sat 15-Apr-17 09:20:55

I work in a male dominated trade.I have done this for decades and my colleagues are half my age.One of them has decided to make my life harder since I returned to my job after working elsewhere.
Everyone else is really lovely to me including the company owners who can see I work hard and are very complimentary which I find hard to take sometimes.
The other day I rearranged some stock to save time when we are busy and the owner agreed it made sense.I tidied up and told my male colleague how I had done it .The next day it was all back to where it was and I had wasted my time!! We have a new line manager who is friends with this guy and he told him he could shove it all back even though I'm on that section.So then I thought I would tray some items neatly like all the other stock as I had a spare tray.
Next thing the obstructive guy flew over from his section and ranted how this wouldn't work.I could feel my stomach churning.He made such a fuss.Then he realised I had a valid point and apologised.
He told me once being an arsehole is more fun than being nice.
My new boss hardly makes me welcome but is charming to the very young girls who are all pretty tbh.
The female owner of the company said I need to stick up for myself however with two angry men who can make my life harder I feel unable to.I feel my days are numbered there sad

whatisforteamum Sat 15-Apr-17 09:25:13

Also the job is changing direction slightly perhaps in a way above my abilities.I maybe being managed out.we had no warning of the changes at all.Very poor communication. I am looking for a new job in my free time.

whatisforteamum Sat 15-Apr-17 10:25:34

Is it just me ?

Lovewineandchocs Sat 15-Apr-17 10:31:47

The new boss sounds like a chauvinist, I'm not sure about the other guy, it depends whether he is an arsehole to men and women equally. In any case, you won't change them. I'd keep on being calmly assertive to them, get on with your job but focus on looking for a new one if you don't like the way it is going anyway. It clearly isn't the same job you had before you left to work elsewhere, so focus your energies on finding something else and don't worry about one or two arseholes. Good luck! smileflowers

19lottie82 Sat 15-Apr-17 10:41:34

I don't really see how he is being a chauvinist here? I agree with your female boss I think you need to stick up for yourself here. Chances are once he realises that's you're not a push over chances are he will back down, bullies are like that. But if he continues I wouldn't hesitate in raising a grievance.

whatisforteamum Sat 15-Apr-17 10:46:57

Thank you .Its just exhausting constantly being in the wrong.I am too old to be micromanaged.I made a mistake the other day I was so on edge.

whatisforteamum Sat 15-Apr-17 10:53:08

The chavanistic bit he he is male and therefore right eventhogh I have considerably more e,perience.sometimes he moves my work or equipment so I have to look for it.Because he is generally charming it looks like HD did it accidentally.He gets the other guy (both our boss) to back him up as they are friends outside of work.

19lottie82 Sat 15-Apr-17 11:00:54

I can see why you might think that, but it's possible he's just a general arse hole and if you wanted to take this further you have nothing to back that up with so I'd just leave that part out of it.

scaryclown Sat 15-Apr-17 11:19:36

Maybe, but this is a power and authority thing.

You rearranged everything in a better way with owner's approval. Owner should have supported you.
Line manager has probably been told something like 'she has arranged everything in the 'wrong' way, can I make it right again?'

Or .. line manager said 'who did this' colleague said 'it was her' shall I put it back' or just put it back anyway.

Without them understanding a. why it was in the way you suggested and b. that the owner had agreed with you.

You could have done a bit of 'here's my proposal for making it better' or 'can we try it this way here's why I think it will work'

Also line manager could have tried to understand the logic and made a decision.

If stock is regularly in different arrangements and then when tidied up is done slighty differently or rationalised, then what you did is normal.

Mind you I have been in situations where the team is dominated by 'you can only do it the way it was done before ' people who go completely mental if things change, and I've been in charge of moving stuff around and done something like put trolleys out of the way instead of in the door in the way, and one of that team comes in and says 'trolleys go there' and sometimes put them there even if you are working, then position it as 'scaryclown is not doing the work properly' even if I get everything done completely correctly.

I had to explain it to a manager once by saying 'if your colleague holds their pen in the left hand, would it be OK for them to interrupt you and take the pen out of your right hand, put it in your left and say 'that's how you write notes, not the wrong way'

Anyway, its clear that the rage was all about his game to put you in the 'wrong' box and try and keep you there. Thats partly chauvanism maybe, but most likely being a one-dimensional amateur game playing tit.

Talk to the owner and line manager together about your better arrangement, say you prefer it, say new guy can easily learn it. agree and suggest might be the way forward.

I've had these power farts from both men and women, but men do it more often i think.. one was a noticeboard fight, I rearranged the noticeboard I was responsible for to make information more obvious, and advertising separate. 6 months later I was called into a office for the extremely serious offence of 'unilaterally acting to alter official noticeboards' - what a fucking waste of time - but it was just an 'I'm the boss' tit around.

whatisforteamum Sat 15-Apr-17 11:43:25

Thank you.I put it back where it was months ago for speed of service which is key.I just felt like my ideas are worthless..it would also help others who had to get access to the area by moving my prep first.

Rawhh Sat 15-Apr-17 14:06:14

I agree you need to stand up for yourself.

I would have taken it to the senior management and said "I arranged section B in such a way as to make it easier for everyone with the agreement of company directors. Employee A has interfered and rearranged back to old way - this is unacceptable. I do not have the time to put right and therefore employee A must put right his mistake by X time today"

Very matter of fact and assertive.

You have the support of the company director.

whatisforteamum Sat 15-Apr-17 19:17:37

I just feel all I do is undermined and futile.Tbh I think the guy has OCD and so long as we all know where stock is it just frustrating when my ideas or opinions don't count.

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