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To feel more lonely at Easter as a single mum?

(29 Posts)
user1472582572 Sat 15-Apr-17 09:07:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exercisejunkie Sat 15-Apr-17 09:21:48

Hi, I'm in the middle of the adoption process as a single adopter so will be a single parent too, I'm. Building my network of other single adopters locally, maybe speak to your health visitor or children's centre and they may be able to put you in touch with other single parents.

user1487854472 Sat 15-Apr-17 09:23:50

I feel exactly the same. It's incredibly lonely. I feel the same at weekends too.
I went out with family yesterday and they're all married with two plus children, and it'll only ever be me and my daughter (no chance for more children). It filled me with such sadness, especially for my daughter who has a complete waste of space of a father.

BCGRMDP Sat 15-Apr-17 09:26:53

im in the same boat. i have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. dad not allowed near us, no other family and no friends that are not working. on a normal basis groups are my saving grace and the only things that keep me going but these 4 days when nothing is on and a lot of things are closed im so isolated..not had an adult conversation since thursday sad

highinthesky Sat 15-Apr-17 09:26:59

YANBU. 4 days is a long time to spend without any adult conversation.

Try to have at least one telephone call with a friend or family every day this weekend (I am assuming they exist and are geographically out of reach atm). And treat yourself when DC are asleep: favourite film, book, whatever. It can make all the difference.

3lovelykids Sat 15-Apr-17 09:28:17

Yes same for me too. DS had decided he would rather go out with his dad today than with me "as he sees me all the time" 😔

mamalovesmojitos Sat 15-Apr-17 09:35:43

It is difficult! Focusing on the fact that I'm lucky to have dd. Sending you easter wishes flowers. You're not alone.

Rosieandtim Sat 15-Apr-17 09:41:17

Yanbu. I dig up any latent belief in God at these times, and check out the kids activities at the local churches. Sometimes, they even provide a cup if tea and take the kids! Bliss.

exercisejunkie I wouldn't get smug, yet! [Wink]

wrinkleseverywhere Sat 15-Apr-17 09:52:02

Do you have any friends whose DH/DP are working this weekend or playing sport or are at a loose end themselves.
I'm not an SP but DH was studying & away a lot at weekends when the DC were small so I have some experience of being alone with the DC from Fri - Sun night. They could be so lonely & draining until I got the guts to ask friends if they wanted to meet up & was surprised at how many of them were keen. Of course, there were others who'd look at me as though I had two heads and say "of course not. We spend weekends as a family". Going to the park or playing at home can be so much better if you have a friend to chat to.

housesellingrant Sat 15-Apr-17 09:53:44

Not exactly in same boat, but DH working this weekend, new to area so no other friends with kids. Am going to be brave and head out to a couple of the local fun days. Are there any near you (check FB).
I admire all you single parents who do this night and day, so not comparing my situation to yours, which I totally get is much harder btw

OhhBetty Sat 15-Apr-17 09:58:07

I know what you mean op, all friends are doing family things etc. Single parent too and thankfully I'm working all over Easter! flowers for you Op

user1492232552 Sat 15-Apr-17 09:58:48

Honestly the whole build a network of single mums thing also drives me insane. I'm sure this will come across awfully but I want to spend time with people in successful marriages too, I don't actually think it does too much good to band together too much, it becomes bloody depressing tbh. I was friends with single mums when I was married, seem to have been dropped like a hot potato since joining their ranks though.

Timeandtune Sat 15-Apr-17 10:06:06

If you could get along to your local church you will find a whole range of child friendly activities. Not just services but activities and refreshments. You don't have to be a believer and I can guarantee you will be made most welcome.
In our church Easter is bigger than Christmas and events take place over several days.

NightCzar Sat 15-Apr-17 10:17:39

I really sympathise. We are overseas with no family and I find easter to be a real stealth family time. Christmas, you know is coming and you plan not to be too alone. Also people go out of their way to include you. But easter is sneaky- loads of people go away and those who are left are doing family stuff.

I second the church idea though. Lots have Easter egg hunts today.

highinthesky Sat 15-Apr-17 10:29:52

I dig up any latent belief in God at these times, and check out the kids activities at the local churches. Sometimes, they even provide a cup if tea and take the kids! And hot cross buns thrown in, at this time of year.

quietcountrylanes Sat 15-Apr-17 10:36:54

I often find single parents have a strong support network from extended families. Being a lone parent and being alone, alone, is unusual.

Livelovebehappy Sat 15-Apr-17 10:37:46

I spent many years as a single parent and hated holidays like Easter and Christmas, because all you see are families out and about, appearing to have fun. There are lots of free museums though - I'm in the north and have places like the Royal Armories museum which is free, and historical houses to visit which cost coppers or are free. Just snuggling up on the sofa with a movie and a bag of crisps is good too. I know it's hard though, but think for families with both parents isn't always jolly either; lots of glum looking dads out and about who look like they'd rather be at work!

quietcountrylanes Sat 15-Apr-17 10:44:36

I think most people are aware that life in families can also be fraught.

However it's not what this OPs thread is about.

We don't barrage people in relationships struggling by sternly reminding them single people are also unhappy. Yet for some reason single people always have to be reminded that relationships are difficult.

It's unhelpful and patronising.

Grilledaubergines Sat 15-Apr-17 11:26:25

Yes user, as though single mums should be segregated socially.

Amperoblue Sat 15-Apr-17 12:01:57

Stick a post on Facebook saying your free Sunday night if anyone wants to come round for a drink / Monday walk?

For me even being lonely as such it's that you are also confined by the limits of your children and money. So even if you did have someone to go out with, the hassle of getting ready whilst still having to do tea and entertain and finding a tenner for wine and crisps plus something for the babysitter just means it isn't worth it. Especially when they ring half an hour before to say can we do it another night.

Coastalcommand Sat 15-Apr-17 12:18:27

Could you befriend any mums from baby groups? We are doing a mums and babies afternoon tea today, each making something simple (I'm doing flapjacks as I'm a rubbish baker!) and going to one mum's house. Some of us are married, some single.
The mums I've met have kept me sane these last few months.
Maybe too late for this Easter, but could it work for you in future?

FinallyHere Sat 15-Apr-17 15:24:13

Does the 'gingerbread' movement still exist, for single parents? If not, how about having a look on meetup.com? In future, you could suggest a meet up with kids to suit you. If you get no takers, you will have lost nothing. There ate bound to be others, and NRP with the kids to treat and entertain, if only you could find them. All the best.

yummytummy Sat 15-Apr-17 15:43:55

Quietcountrylanes I have no extended support network at all so I am alone alone as you put it and I know for a fact I am not the only one. You can't generalise

Op I know what you mean it is very isolating. The church idea isn't bad and usually people are very welcoming

quietcountrylanes Sat 15-Apr-17 15:46:36

Not suggesting you aren't yummy but although many gather on Internet forums finding lone parents without parents or siblings of their own is difficult in rl, I find.

yummytummy Sat 15-Apr-17 15:48:37

It is difficult. I wish I knew many others who had no one. It's very isolating. Feel like a freak

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