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AIBU?

To think I'm not normal about dtd?

301 replies

DcQuinn · 14/04/2017 23:16

My first time post after lurking for a while.

I have been reading about how some women feel that having sex once a week is not enough for their partners. Because they don't feel like it etc. But now i am starting to feel that i have a problem. I could go months without it. It doesn't bother me anymore. My husband is actually great and has the patience of a saint. I feel so bad for him, i just wonder what the hell is wrong with me? We have been together for 14 years and I still fancy him loads. I have a 15 year old and my two youngest are 3 and 16 weeks. But i have felt like this before i had the younger two. So what is wrong with me?!

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Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 14/04/2017 23:26

No advice, just wanted to say your not alone. I could quite happily live the rest of my life without sex, it does not interest me at all, I'm 25 with a 4yo and 8mo. I have a great Dh too, he's very patient.
I'll be reading this thread with interest as I do feel bad for him.

Elledouble · 14/04/2017 23:28

I'm 31 and have had sex once since my nearly two year old was born. It's not even that I don't want sex with my partner, I don't want sex with anyone

Crazyvaperlady · 14/04/2017 23:29

I can barely manage two days without jumping my OH. If we're out all I can think about is how much i fancy him. Maybe I'm just strange.

DcQuinn · 14/04/2017 23:30

Thank you, I'm glad I'm not alone about this. I just wish i knew what my problem is?!

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DcQuinn · 14/04/2017 23:32

You are not strange crazyviperlady, i wish i was like you!

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Persianprincess69 · 14/04/2017 23:33

I am the same if I never had it again I would t miss it. Men go in such huffs when they don't get it!!!!

LucilleBluth · 14/04/2017 23:34

You have very young children. I have three DCs and now the youngest is six and I'm in my late 30s I want it more than ever. I'm definitely hitting my sexual peak. Small kids are a libido killer.

DcQuinn · 14/04/2017 23:35

But mine doesn't go off in a huff, im surprised he hasn't gone elsewhere if I'm honest

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IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 14/04/2017 23:35

I predict this thread ending with those of us who just can't really be bothered with sex so much being told that we are doing it wrong, with the wrong person or that there is something wrong with us.

I'm with you OP. If I didn't have sex again then I wouldn't be too bothered.

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 14/04/2017 23:37

I've seen in here that contraceptives can sometimes be the issue, but for a couple of reasons, I have to stick to what I'm already using.

I would love nothing more than to want to jump Dh's bones on a regular basis. It's not even like he's the reason. I wouldn't want it with anyone else either.

NameChangeInCasePeopleRecogn · 14/04/2017 23:37

I think it's a natural consequence of being monogamous.

DcQuinn · 14/04/2017 23:38

Lucille, im lucky that my 2 youngest are very happy kids, they sleep really well and so did my eldest when she was a baby. I'm just pissed off with myself that i feel like this. I really do think I'm not normal compared to others

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AllllGooone · 14/04/2017 23:39

You're not alone. I could go months, happily. I'm 30. I wish I wanted it all the time, but I just don't.

DcQuinn · 14/04/2017 23:42

I'm going to get flamed for this but I'm not on any contraceptives at all, this is how bad it is. I just don't want to be like this, its really not fair on him

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HashiAsLarry · 14/04/2017 23:44

My want for sex went out the window trying for DC2. Its not that I don't enjoy sex, but we made it mechanical and haven't quite got out of he trap yet. We do have sex, just not as often as people consider 'often'. Doesn't help that I now have autoimmune issues so often staying awake beyond 9pm is a struggle for me but not my DCs. DH knows thankfully that I'm not interested in anyone else either!

Ledkr · 14/04/2017 23:44

I can be like it lately too. I think that after working all day then spending the evening seeing to the kids, house etc. I get into be and it's the only time I can just be alone with my thoughts, I pad, tv, book etc.
I did find thought that if I make the effort I still love it.

Topseyt · 14/04/2017 23:50

Same here. Just not that bothered about it at all.

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 14/04/2017 23:53

I make the effort, and actually, I enjoy it when we do it, its just the before, getting in the mood, building myself up to it. I'm quite happy to slob watching soaps, eating chocolate and drinking wine.
I think it's partly due to the fact I don't feel sexy any more, never did really but less so now.

GabsAlot · 14/04/2017 23:55

im the same and no dc either

i used to want to all the time now i cant be arsed-my dh seems ok about it but obviously wants more-doent preessure me though

Alwayshungryforcrisps · 14/04/2017 23:56

I could live without it too

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 14/04/2017 23:57

It seems you have missed the "50 shades" boat OP.. What with the re-sexualization of practically every woman in the land (on a hiding to nothing), caused by these best-sellers. But then again it's more likely to be hormones after your recent addition, if there is still attraction and rapport in your relationship.

TyrionLannisterforKing · 14/04/2017 23:58

I'm sort of the opposite - not into the whole romance stuff (and if anything, my contraceptives make my libido higher).

There's nothing wrong with this. I may not fit the mold society has created, but I am happy and I would pick happiness over looking "normal" any day.

Also, relationships are made of more than just sex. Ask your husband - he may not even mind its lack of frequency. There are very happy assexual couples out there.

Something I have to ask, though: I was never into romance. Were you into sex before kids, or is it something that was always a bit meh?

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DcQuinn · 14/04/2017 23:58

Thank you for all your responses, i do feel awful for feeling like this, like some of you have said, when it happens, I'm into it. But i want to be the one that starts it too!

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Gallavich · 14/04/2017 23:58

You have a 6 week old baby! What do you expect from yourself?

AssassinatedBeauty · 15/04/2017 00:00

You have a 16 week old... I don't think it's that unusual. If you're breastfeeding that can completely kill your libido too.

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