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AIBU?

To think I shouldn't have to acknowledge this man?

18 replies

freeDeirdreRachid · 14/04/2017 23:08

Walking down the street and I heard a guy behind me shout "nice" at me .. I ignored him and he then shouted ... "oi darling I'm talking to you! Nice arse"

In what world do men think a woman wants to be shouted at in the street and the fact that I ignored him the first time and it wasn't enough for him to realise I don't want that shit shouted at me in the street.

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Birdsgottaf1y · 14/04/2017 23:11

Hopefully because it's now classed as Street Harrasment and the campaign is getting more public known, we'll start to see less of it.

sonyaya · 14/04/2017 23:13

YANBU. I find it really intimidating - I either have to engage them in conversation or ignore them in which case I get nervous that the next comment won't be so friendly.

These men need to realise women aren't there for their entertainment and fuck off.

IAmAmy · 14/04/2017 23:14

Most of the ones who do this know full well women (and girls) don't like it, which is part of their motivation for doing it. A few months ago I was branded a "miserable bitch" for ignoring shouted comments at me by two lovely chaps. Luckily they didn't follow and left it at that, though it angers me I consider this fortunate.

YouTheCat · 14/04/2017 23:28

There's a thread going about this harassment but how it is aimed at girls, as well as women.

Shitonmyshoe · 15/04/2017 00:55

In my youth ignoring such arseholes would then invoke the obvious "cheer up darling". Well I would if you "fuck off wankstain".

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 15/04/2017 01:01

They're cunts! Probably in a relationship with someone they're not attracted to, and vice versa. Just ignore them. You've given no signals of interest.

Tootsiepops · 15/04/2017 01:07

I really, really wish someone had told me when I was a young girl (aged 13 or so), that this sort of behaviour was not my fault. I developed at quite a young age and would often have men shouting really quite inappropriate things at me, and I just wanted to die of shame.

I'm kicking 40, very fat and have an excellent resting bitch face so thankfully no longer have to deal with it

fourteenlittleducks · 15/04/2017 07:59

I would have laughed and walked on. I suspect they're trying to make you feel uncomfortable/embarrassed, so I like to show I don't care. I find ignoring them makes them louder.

watchoutformybutt · 15/04/2017 08:03

Put on your best 'Marlon Wayans in White Chicks' voice and harass them back.

claraschu · 15/04/2017 08:03

Can anyone think of a good way to respond that will wrong-foot men like this?

I had a very bolshy friend when I was a teenager who used to turn and look at them in the eye and then start to pick her nose very vigorously, but I don't think my daughter could pull that off.

dailyshite · 15/04/2017 08:06

I used to look them dead in the eye and say 'is that supposed to make me find you attractive?'.

Never failed to make them feel uncomfortable and like the massive dick that they were.

Slightly different but if involved touching (i.e. at a nightclub or something) I'd put them in an arm lock (did self defence at work) and ask the same question.

Probably wouldn't have the guts to do that now.

claraschu · 15/04/2017 08:13

That's great daily. I am impressed with your chutzpah.

dailyshite · 15/04/2017 08:19

I definitely wouldn't be so brave now!

ohnothisisme · 15/04/2017 08:20

YANBU. Being cat called gave me real anxiety about walking down the street for ages.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/04/2017 08:22

I have usually ignored them for fear of making it worse, but clearly that can backfire anyway. I had a lot in my last pregnancy, but less in this one either because I'm wearing a coat or because I'm more haggard. It's not meant as a compliment, it's misogyny.

My friend had some wanker coming down an escslator while she was sat at the bottom minding her own business. He was a "cheer up love" type, she has a bitchy resting face but was perfectly happy. Thankfully he was too busy shouting over to her he failed to notice he'd got to the end and fell flat on his face. I was disappointed she didn't ask for the cctv.

SmileEachDay · 15/04/2017 08:36

This behaviour makes me angry.

I think a rule of "acknowledgement but not engagement" is good - a disdainful look that conveys "you are pathetic", a sigh that says "bor-ing" then move on. Both these actions put you back in control, but do not invite further interaction.

This is difficult, if you feel very intimidated or anxious - your mobile is helpful here - ignore the harassment and answer your phone. It makes you focus on something other than the idiot harassing you AND it makes out to them that you're not "alone" and vulnerable, which is what they rely on.

LurkingHusband · 15/04/2017 09:00

Your mobile is helpful here - ignore the harassment and answer your phone

With all this technology up the wazoo, I wonder if there's market for an app to log sexist incidents in real time ?

You could watch a map as reports flash up - it could be the bellend equivalent of the lightening map : Sexistpigradar24.com with each report being automatically hashtagged #everydaysexism.

Of course, the fact is it shouldn't be needed .

dailyshite · 15/04/2017 09:03

That's a brilliant idea Lurking, with photos. A sexist pig, GPS version of #parkslikeacunt

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