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AIBU?

There is a woman on the train with me...

82 replies

NotAlice · 13/04/2017 16:51

Who is literally reading her book aloud.

She started mouthing, then very quietly, almost breathing the words and now she's whispering quite loudly.

She's sitting opposite me and wearing noise cancelling headphones.

It's quite annoying, but also I sometimes find myself accidentally reading aloud and would be mortified if it was me.

Her book is quite racy.

AIBU to somehow let her know??

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Salmotrutta · 13/04/2017 16:55

Oh dear Grin

Perhaps you should quietly let her know!

It'll be that headphone situation where you don't realise you are making a noise.

Grin

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Rainydayspending · 13/04/2017 16:56

Make eye contact at a racy bit and waggle your eyebrows.

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SilverDragonfly1 · 13/04/2017 16:56

make 'sex having' gestures at her, like the one where you put your finger through a circle made by the fingers of your other hand.

Hold up a note saying 'Wow, spicy stuff!'

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Reow · 13/04/2017 16:56

Move to the seat behind her and kick her seat like a toddler. Give her a big grin if she turns to look at you Grin

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starsinyourpies · 13/04/2017 16:56

Spicy stuff Grin

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Heirhelp · 13/04/2017 16:57

I once sat opposite some one who was tearing pages out of the back of the books she was reading and eating them.

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Salmotrutta · 13/04/2017 16:57

Or you could hold your finger up to your lips to indicate "Ssh"?

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Winniethepooer · 13/04/2017 16:57

GrinGrinGrin Silverdragonfly1

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BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 13/04/2017 16:58

God, she's not talking about her inner goddess doing the merengue with some salsa moves thrown in?

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RedGrapeCornSnake · 13/04/2017 16:58

Really obviously take a photo of the book
When she asks what the fuck you're doing, tell her the bits she's read out so far have made you want to read the rest!

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NotAlice · 13/04/2017 17:00

She's still doing it!! I think I'm going to google some of the lines and see if I can figure out what it is.

Bloody kindles, hindering stalkerish behaviour.

I have tried to make eye contact but she's engrossed.

It's one of those cross country shuttle commuter trains so we have some time until the next stop...

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qazxc · 13/04/2017 17:01

It's not the latest jilly cooper is it? If it is prepare yourself for sex scenes where the male protagonist thinks that saying "buttercunt" to a woman is highly erotic. Hmm

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Revenant · 13/04/2017 17:03

I work with someone like this who reads out every single email she gets in a loud whisper. And the answers as she types too. I will check on her taste in literature next week ...

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NotAlice · 13/04/2017 17:03

OMG silver I love it. Maybe I could do an illustration and show her it.

Breakfast I snorted at that. Unfortunately the man next to me, who has clearly noticed the reading too, noticed said snort and gave me a look. I think he thinks I'm laughing at the naughty bits of the novel.

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Viviene · 13/04/2017 17:04

We must know what book it is. Give us some lines!

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Maudlinmaud · 13/04/2017 17:06

Oh god op, this has brought back a hideous memory Blush I was on a bus, when I realised I was having the conversation going on inside my head ALOUD!
Please tell her!

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BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 13/04/2017 17:09

Stuff the book.
Check out which brand of headphones she's wearing.
They're obviously very /too effective

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NotAlice · 13/04/2017 17:14

OK there's someone called Nora, I think she's the main character.

Seriously she's still going. It's been fifteen minutes!! There was a bit of silence when her phone buzzed but then she started again, v quietly and gradually louder.

I think I have to say/do something, the train isn't packed but isn't empty either

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TheNaze73 · 13/04/2017 17:14

A gentle "could you shut the fuck up" would be appropriate

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NotAlice · 13/04/2017 17:18

I feigned a coughing fit. She didn't notice and is still going.

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NotAlice · 13/04/2017 17:21

I need to know what book this is. The protagonist appears to be shagging both zack and "sofa"!? (I must have misheard. Speak up, train lady!)

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HappyFlappy · 13/04/2017 17:21

buttercunt

Grin Grin Grin

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AlpacaPicnic · 13/04/2017 17:22

Gather everyone on the train to sit and look at her like at toddler storytime. She might not notice one person, she'll probably notice 20 or so eager faces...

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Nonibaloni · 13/04/2017 17:22

When dm is thinking through a conversation she speaks both parts, including the changes etc. Can be useful when she's planning on giving me grief about something - I even find out what not to say.

She has no idea she's doing it and does worry that she'll get locked up if the wrong person hears her

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kathkim · 13/04/2017 17:23

buttercunt? Think he's been watching "Last Tango in Paris" movie Smile

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