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AIBU?

To still be using a car seat for my daughter?

54 replies

TheHuntingOfTheSarky · 13/04/2017 14:41

DD1 is 9.5 and 139cm. If I'm not reading it wrong, under UK law she is no longer obliged to use a booster seat in the car as she's over 135cm.. However, all Eurooean countries and also UK safety experts suggest she should be using one until she's 150cm tall.

135cm seems really low to me so when I discovered that all these other places are still saying 150cm we decided we would continue to use ours until she's this tall.

However, asking around some friends it seems like we are in the minority for doing this. In fact a few people said I was being overly protective and that as long as she's tall enough for UK law we are being unreasonable to "make" her keep using her seat. I was a bit Confused as the implication seemed to be that I was being an uncool mum and she'll be the only one in the year still treated like a baby etc etc.

DD still has to use her high-back seat on journeys involving the motorway or fast roads, but we do have a backless one for shorter journeys as it makes her feel a bit more grown-up and she says it's more comfortable.

I think my friends are crazy and I'd rather be uncool than unsafe but they think it's the other way round and I'm fussing too much. AIBU or are they?

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Bantanddec · 13/04/2017 14:52

It's completely up to you, she's your daughter and you know what's best for her.

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tinypop4 · 13/04/2017 14:53

She's your DD and if you think it's safer and she's happy to use one then it's no one else's business

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PetalMettle · 13/04/2017 14:55

It's up to you, unless she's getting teased about it.
The 150cm thing does make me laugh though as dmil would have to use one if that was the law here

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Rosa · 13/04/2017 14:56

My Dd 11 prefers the high back for long journes as if she falls asleep she has a head rest ! She hates neck cushions...Her bum is getting a bit big however for the booster. She is 140 cm

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PinguForPresident · 13/04/2017 14:59

Totally up to you. my 8 y/o daughter is about 135cm, almost all of her friends ar out of car seats now, but I keep her on her booster cushion for short hops, and a proper car seat for longer journeys. The seatbelt cuts dangerously high across her neck if I don't.

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TheHuntingOfTheSarky · 13/04/2017 15:05

DD is a sensible sort of lass and gets why I'm still asking her to use it. Our compromise is that the high back one is only for bigger journeys as I said in my OP.

Did the height rule change recently along with the other changes they made or was it always 135cm?

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BurnTheBlackSuit · 13/04/2017 15:06

At 9.5 your daughter will have peers who aren't 135cm so she won't be the only one in a booster seat.

I'd keep her in it. Safety trumps others opinions.

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RhubarbGin · 13/04/2017 15:07

Ds1 is 11 and 146cm tall and still finds a booster cushion comfortable so he'll stay on it as long as it still fits and holds the belt in the correct position. We only gave up on the high back at Christmas when he actually out grew it. Most of his friends' parents abandoned even the booster cushions, let alone high backs, long before their children were legal to be without them. However as I told ds, I don't give a rats ass what they do with their children, my job is to care for him and to keep him safe, so the booster stays for now. I feel very strongly about car safety and have found it difficult to bite my tongue with some of his/my friends. I consider the parents to be taking ridiculous risks with their children's safety, but that's their concern, not mine.

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tireddotcom72 · 13/04/2017 15:11

150cm!!!! My 13 year old is 152cm I can't imagine she would even fit in a booster seat! We stopped using it when she was about 11 - only the cushion bit the back came off before that as she was literally wedged in it. In the end she was too big for a booster cushion too. Where on earth would you find a booster seat that a 5ft child could fit in?

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MangoSplit · 13/04/2017 15:12

The height rule was 135cm before the change.

It's up to you OP. I wouldn't do this personally but I certainly wouldn't criticise someone else for doing it.

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PancakesAndMapleSyrup · 13/04/2017 15:19

Nope deffo not AIBU. My 9.5 year old still uses a high back booster and is the same height as your dd. A month ago some twat decided to t-bone my car (large suv) and smashed into the doors. Thank fuck the dcs were in chairs and secure since the doors crumpled!. Managed to write the car off too! Safe rather than sorry.

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Goingtobeawesome · 13/04/2017 15:21

I couldn't care less what anyone else did. My kids are mine and I decided I'd do what I thought was best and hope that those that took risks imo didn't have a child that was punished for it. I don't let others dictate my parenting. Iirc at 12 my first dc had a booster but my youngest was out of it at primary school.

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1bighappyfamily · 13/04/2017 15:22

I'd keep her in it. Safety trumps others opinions.

This. My daughter is in YR and is still rear facing. When she asks why, she's told "because that's the safest way to travel in Mummy's car." My own mother thinks I'm bonkers. This is the woman who had those yellow Britax seatbelts in the car for us before anyone else did and before there were car seats in the back. She also is the woman who thinks we shouldn't have a monitor for my three year old as it invades her privacy Confused so I tend not to listen to her much in fairness..

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Goingtobeawesome · 13/04/2017 15:22

Most accidents happen near to home iirc so it's silly not to be as careful for all journeys. Comfort v safety. Obvious it should be safety.

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Flowerpower321 · 13/04/2017 15:24

Car seat belts are designed for adults over 150cm so yes she will be safer with a booster seat- high back or backless (high back obv safest) until 150cm. All three of mine used one until at least 140cm, it's the parents that don't care about their kids' safety who stop using boosters earlier. How the seat belt fits (or doesn't) matter much more than 'the law says 135cm' as this is much too short for the belt to fit properly in any car that my kids have been in.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/04/2017 15:33

You do what is right for you and your DD.

I kept both my DSs rear-facing for long after what is considered "normal" in Australia (they turn them at about 6m given half a chance, FAR too early IMO!) - I heard some people taking the piss about how scrunched they were in their seats, but I didn't give a shit - I'd seen internal decapitation videos etc. and wasn't running that risk if I could avoid it! Plus both my boys tend to fall asleep in the car on even the shortest journeys, so being rear-facing in their seats was a much better option for that.

I won't be letting DS1 off his booster seat for a while yet (he's only 9 anyway) - ignore everyone else, they wouldn't have to live with the consequences of anything bad happening, YOU would, so you do what feels right for you and your family.

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Chchchchangeabout · 13/04/2017 15:33

YANBU to keep your daughter safe regardless of the law

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Ohyesiam · 13/04/2017 15:34

Does it matter what other people say?

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Starlight2345 · 13/04/2017 15:36

My DS is over 145cm..I don't know exactly but he is 9. I don't know any of his friends that do.
I don't think it is fair to say it is parents who don't care that stop using them.Most people consider as it is the law that is what the safe limit is.

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BlueChampagne · 13/04/2017 15:38

DS1 is 9 and 145cm, and is still in his, mostly because he hasn't asked to get rid of it! Also safer, and more comfortable.

If she's still happy with it, carry on.

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Toomanycats99 · 13/04/2017 15:42

My dd is 9.5 and 143 cm. we still have her in her booster seat. She does moan a bit now that none of her friends are still in theirs.

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BurnTheBlackSuit · 13/04/2017 15:43

Just to add, it is unlikely that my son will be in a booster seat/cushion until he's 150cm as he will be well into he's teens by then. We'll probBly stop when he's 135cm.

If he was 135cm at age 9 though, I'd carry on using a booster seat/cushion.

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TheHuntingOfTheSarky · 13/04/2017 15:43

No ohyesIam of course not Confused - I am simply trying to gauge other people's opinions. Sometimes, if people you consider to be your peers disagree with you on something of importance such as this, it's nice to have somewhere like MN where you can find out the opinions of other people too. Harmless enough, I would've thought.

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AliceKlar · 13/04/2017 15:52

I think it's fine. On the height basis I'm not much shorter than 150cm and I'm 57! If DD is the right height for the seat and you think she is safer/comfier in one, I'd carry on as you are.

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AliceKlar · 13/04/2017 15:52

Sorry, not much TALLER than the 150 limit.

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