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AIBU?

To use my son's savings to pay off debt?

140 replies

Bibs2014 · 12/04/2017 22:18

What would you do?

We are £17,000 in debt due to failed IVF .

DS has £1200 in the bank (not including interest) as I started saving £100 a month for him last year in a high interest account that I couldn't touch for a year.

It's now matured. Should I take the money out and clear some of the debt? It's all on 0% credit card and is manageable (at the moment).

The reason I'm thinking we should is because we want to move house so it looks better to have less debt.

Reason against is that even though I could save the money up again in the future, you never really do, do you? I already started late as I wanted to start saving from his birth and didn't start till he was 16 months so I already 'owe' him £1600 😂

OP posts:

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Jupitertomars · 12/04/2017 22:28

Yes I would. If it means you move to a better house/area and benefits him in the long run then I would.

Plus it's not really "his". Yes you saved it with the intention of it going directly to him but it's not as though someone has gifted it to him and your taking it.

You have saved it and he will reap rewards from the move no doubt.

Broccolirevolution · 12/04/2017 22:30

Not sure - if you deduct that amount from your debt total, your figure is still very high. This makes me think you should by bother.

PippaFawcett · 12/04/2017 22:30

Yes, I would. And for what it is worth we didn't start saving for the DC until our youngest started school, we simply had nothing leftover at the end of the month. Even now we only save £25 per DC so £100 a month when you are in debt is rather excessive.

NapQueen · 12/04/2017 22:33

Lots of people dont save for their kids or save much less than that. So id say stop saving for him and pay off the debt instead, including what youve already saved.

Itd be different if friends and finaly gave him money on birth/birthdays. But this is a simple thing. Get the debt paid off.

HeyCat · 12/04/2017 22:34

Yes, this is still your money really and paying off debt will benefit him in the long run.

Patriciathestripper1 · 12/04/2017 22:35

No I wouldn't. It's his money for his future. and he shouldn't have to suffer the loss of it

dowhatnow · 12/04/2017 22:35

You can't save what you don't have. You didn't have a spare £100 to save so pay off the debts without feeling guilty.

kingscrossnoodle · 12/04/2017 22:36

stop giving your son £100 a month that you can not afford to give

Wishforsnow · 12/04/2017 22:37

Yes you should

Bedsheets4knickers · 12/04/2017 22:37

It's a drop in the ocean why bother ?

Patriciathestripper1 · 12/04/2017 22:38

Posted too soon, it wouldn't pay off much of the debt anyway so keep it for him.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 12/04/2017 22:40

Until your ds reaches 18 surely its still your money? To benefit his life now is better than you all being stressed - which he will pick up on - than it sitting in the bank. . Don't feel guilty. .

BakerBear · 12/04/2017 22:41

£1200 is hardly scratching the surface on a £17,000 debt.

magoria · 12/04/2017 22:41

If it is on 0% cards then the interest you earn on it no matter how small is more than you would spend servicing the card.

Whist you have a 0% card pay of the minimum, keep the savings for now and get what extra in the way of interest you can.

PurpleDaisies · 12/04/2017 22:43

I'd use it. Get that debt sorted asap and then replace the money for your son when you can.

missymayhemsmum · 12/04/2017 22:43

You need a sensible plan to pay off the debt. You haven't said what your circumstances are, whether that's a couple of years on 0% cards, or whether, realistically, you will need to do a debt plan. If you are looking at clearing it and then saving to move house, it'll be a good while before you can start saving for your son again, so I'd hang on to it as an emergency fund, personally, but stop adding to it.

ThePinkOcelot · 12/04/2017 22:44

It wouldn't make much of a dent in your debt, so I wouldn't. Perhaps reduce the saving to £50 or £25 per month until you can afford it better?

PippaFawcett · 12/04/2017 22:44

The only way to clear a debt is to chip away at it until you get it down. To all the people saying £1200 won't make much difference, they are wrong. Every £1 paid off, is one closer to being debt free. Op, you never had £100 to save for your son, this is your money and spend it on getting rid of your debt. I'm very sorry your IVF didn't work.

Pallisers · 12/04/2017 22:44

stop giving your son £100 a month that you can not afford to give confused

I agree. Your priorities should be living within your means, paying down your debt and then saving - and frankly I'd prioritise savings for emergencies and then savings for pension over saving for my child.

But I would only pay money off the debt with the money you saved for him after you take a good look at your income/debt etc so you have a plan in mind (something like "so we pay off 1600 now, continue with 300 a month and we will be debt free in X months")

Do it as part of an overall play. Saving for your child is lovely but should be way down the list of priorities imo.

No I wouldn't. It's his money for his future. and he shouldn't have to suffer the loss of it

It isn't his money. It wasn't given to him by someone else for his future - it is money his mother put aside - her money. Growing up with a family mired in debt, stressed, unable to have holidays won't be made better by being given 20 k of money your parents needed at age 18. Priorities.

nickienackienoo · 12/04/2017 22:45

I'm in wouldn't camp OP, it would feel like I was 'stealing' from my child :( almost like pinching from a piggy bank

Also added to the fact it barely makes a dent in the debt.

Pallisers · 12/04/2017 22:45

yes also sorry your ivf didn't work.

Starlight2345 · 12/04/2017 22:45

You have £17,000 debt and you want to move house?

You are saving £100 a month and have £17,000.

I think you really need to sit down and think about all of your future.

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nickienackienoo · 12/04/2017 22:47

It isn't his money. It wasn't given to him by someone else for his future - it is money his mother put aside - her money.

Rubbish - it is his money in a bank in a savings account FOR him - she set it aside for him.

It would be like giving someone a gift and taking it back

1Evaline1 · 12/04/2017 22:47

I wouldn't touch his money but I would reduce his monthly payments until you can manage more

BaldricksTrousers · 12/04/2017 22:49

According to moneysavingexpert you should always focus on clearing debt before you save. As you saved the money you should use it, it's yours. £17,000 is a lot of money and this is no time to be sentimental--it could literally ruin you if that 0% offer ends. Take the £100 you've been saving each month and put that in as well. Your son would be happy with the money when he's 18, true, but I think he'd be happier with happy, debt-free parents.

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