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To think this man needs to get over it?

(10 Posts)
teaandcakeat8 Wed 12-Apr-17 21:45:55

I work in quite a small team, we are all friendly and talk about personal lives quite freely (not in an oversharing way but as in I know the names of colleagues partners, children etc).

One of the guys is in his mid forties, married for 8 ish years, has two kids. Met his wife OLD.

He talks about his ex all the time. As in almost every day. He sounds very bitter about the break up - they met at uni (20 years ago), she dumped him. Now she's apparently 'sleeping her way around her office', all sorts of derogatory things that make him sound very bitter in my opinion.

I'm single and dating and quite often mention guys when I've had a bad date or something hasn't worked out but it's always followed by a mention from this guy with a reference to his ex.

AIBU to think it's odd that he still talks about his ex so much after so long and when married to someone else?

floraeasy Wed 12-Apr-17 21:47:24

He obviously can't let go. It happens, I suppose. Can't be good for his wife though. Even if he doesn't mention it to her directly, it must spill into his relationship, surely?

floraeasy Wed 12-Apr-17 21:58:38

Just a generalisation, but men don't often have friends to process things like this with. I also think - generally - they are less likely to go on forums like this. He needs to work through it though - maybe in therapy.

KC225 Wed 12-Apr-17 22:07:22

What does OLD mean? Is this the ex prior to him being married for 8 years?

floraeasy Wed 12-Apr-17 22:10:39

I think it means online dating?

teaandcakeat8 Wed 12-Apr-17 22:19:15

OLD means online dating. Only mentioned because he keeps telling me to try it as apparently he met his now wife after 1 day.

No idea if he has other exes but it's just this one he mentions all the time.

FABpMummy Wed 12-Apr-17 22:25:51

I worked with a woman who was obsessed with her ex (father of their 9 year old). It was a shame that she just couldn't move on and be happy despite being in a relationship and engaged herself.

teaandcakeat8 Thu 13-Apr-17 16:32:03

It just makes me feel bad for his wife, and also a bit sad that someone can still be so obviously invested in the past... I have 'the ones that got away' but I recognise that I have to live in the present (and I also don't keep up with them or spread nasty comments about them).

spannablue Thu 13-Apr-17 16:49:08

Let him rumble on. I feel for his wife though

TheNaze73 Thu 13-Apr-17 16:49:10

He needs to move on. Sounds like he has issues.

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