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AIBU to take round a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine?

(13 Posts)
LittleWingSoul Wed 12-Apr-17 21:29:03

Have got proper cabin fever today after not leaving the house with the kids... I work term-time but have school holidays off so normally none of us are home. However, the last couple of days we've stayed home as I've been trying to catch up with all the housework I don't get to do when working FT.

My 2 DC are LOUD. Maybe it just sounds loud to me, maybe it sounds loud to everyone, idk. They have been in and out of the garden whooping and screeching all day long. Toddler DS had a half hour tantrum between lunch/nap and DD has ASD and is prone to constant grunting which I find infuriating, and would imagine others would too.

I feel sorry for our neighbours! We have only been here a few months and this is the first time we've been at home during the day this length of time.

I want to take round a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates to the neighbours to apologise and just to show I am aware of how much of a PITA it must be to have such noisy kids next door. We are out for the next few days and then it's back to school/work so will be quiet as of tomorrow.

DH says this is a bad idea as it draws attention to it and sets a precedent for them beginning to complain about the noise levels.

I think it is just a thoughtful gesture, one that I would probably appreciate if in my neighbours shoes.

AIBU?

ShatnersBassoon Wed 12-Apr-17 21:36:24

No need for gifts, just apologise for the noisy rabble if you feel you must. All children make noise, there's nothing out of the ordinary with your lot by the sounds of it.

smilingsarahb Wed 12-Apr-17 21:38:33

I agree with your husband. Do your best to keep them calm and quiet and not be a nuisance and show your consideration in that way.

LittleWingSoul Wed 12-Apr-17 21:43:05

I do my best, I guess that's all I can do really! Sensory meltdowns are a big part of the noise - I definitely can't stop those :-(

Yeah as soon as he said it anyway I thought I probably shouldn't, but thought I'd ask MN!

I guess the noise is more stressful to me than anyone else. They're a lovely couple with one on the way so I'm sure will experience it all themselves soon!

Maybe it would be a bit weird to turn up with chocs and wine.

MumW Wed 12-Apr-17 21:45:05

I think DH has a point but also see that you want to be neighbourly. Maybe wine and chocolates is a bit OTT.

As it's Easter, could you make cupcakes decorated with mini eggs or the children make crispy cake nests? The gesture is there without too much precedent. Say something like "we've made some cakes and thought we'd share them. We realise we're quite noisy during the holidays."

A bottle of wine at Christmas might be more appropriate.

Most people accept that kids play and make a noise and your toddler will grow out of the tantrum phase.

LittleWingSoul Wed 12-Apr-17 22:02:06

Oh it's my older DD (8.5) who makes most of the noise! But yes, that sounds like a lovely idea and the kids would love it too. We'll do that on Saturday! Thank you MumW :-)

It feels like a non-issue now that they are both finally asleep and I've had a glass of wine myself. I'm by no means the worst neighbour on the terrace, there is a student house on the end. Perhaps I was over thinking and just a wee bit stressed out by the grunting and drudgery of housework. I'm not a SAHM for a reason - I can't cope with it!

DH is cooking me meatballs while I peruse MN.

And.... breathe! wine

bunnylove99 Wed 12-Apr-17 22:05:59

Enjoy your wine and meatballs OP. You sound like a good neighbour to me. I wouldn't worry about the kids. They will grow out of the tantrum stage!

ForTheSakeOfFuck Wed 12-Apr-17 22:08:27

MumW's idea is great. Also just an occasional acknowledgement whenever you see your NDN should be enough. The fact that they know that you know can do an awful lot by itself to defuse possible tensions. Luckily (or not) our NDNs have three DCs aged between 2 and 9 who are regularly up till 10pm on school-nights and midnight on weekends. And they are LOUD, even that late at night. It absolves me of absolutely any guilt I feel when mine are noisy during the day.

LittleWingSoul Wed 12-Apr-17 22:30:30

ForThe up until 10pm?! Midnight?!?! Wow, poor you! Poor parents?! I've always been quite rigid with bedtimes... do other parents keep their kids up this late out of choice?

ForTheSakeOfFuck Wed 12-Apr-17 22:38:03

I'm thinking that the poor mother has just given up on enforcing bedtimes after the arrival of her third DS. (I think he was unplanned but can't be sure.) Her DH doesn't help much when he's home and he's a GP so he works very long hours. I'm not even sure how she manages to drag them up in the morning for school, but credit to her, she gets them up and out on time every day, like clockwork. Fortunately none of the bedrooms are adjoining rooms so at bedtime we can't really hear them, even when they're in elephant stampede mode. Mostly I just feel sorry for her, and wonder how she isn't losing her marbles in all that chaos, but it does mean that when DS has one of his pterodactyl-on-fire tantrums at 7.30am I don't get too angsty about it. Silver linings and all that. grin

LittleWingSoul Wed 12-Apr-17 22:43:19

Ahh, poor woman! I suppose I'm generally quite lucky with my enforced bed times then, maybe I'll be on here with another AIBU if we get to DC3 and I just give up all together!

ForTheSakeOfFuck Wed 12-Apr-17 22:51:55

Ha! I've chatted with a few mums-of-three, since I'll be joining that club myself in a few weeks when the DTDs arrive (fingers crossed, touch wood, all being well etc. etc.), and their general consensus seems to be that the insanity of enforcing a regimented bedtime is infinitely less awful than the insanity of not doing so. Give it a year or two and I'll get back to you on quite how well it's all going...

BaldricksTrousers Wed 12-Apr-17 22:57:28

When we rented a terraced house and my DD was younger, I was always so worried about the noise level (looking back, she was not hardly noisy, it just seemed 100x worse than it was). I mean, I was irrationally worried about what the neighbors thought. Finally we left them chocolates at Christmas with a card apologising if it was noisy. This opened the door and our neighbors became good friends with us and our daughter who they spoiled with gifts. I don't ever regret it, and we've done it for our current neighbors re: our annoying dogs. We get reassurances back that it's not so bad! If you feel like it will be awkward drop a box through the letterbox with a card!

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