To think I'm really messed up(2 Posts)
I booked a gp appt for next month about heart palpations. They have been becoming more frequent and I nearly passed out once...I thought perhaps I had high blood pressure or maybe a slight heart problem....but
I have been so anxious this last week. I'm in a fairly new job after walking out of my last one due to severe bullying from my manager. The bullying has left me with terrible self esteem and I was depressed when I was in the job. When I left I felt happier but left with anxiety and I get very stressed out over minor issues.
Today at work I got pulled up over a fairly minor issue and management were nice about it. I came home worried sick, heart palpitations and crying. I know it isn't a big mistake but I get easily upset. I don't let this show at work, nobody would ever know but I'm not coping well at home.
I fear that I'm hopeless, not worthy, that I'm going to fail and end up jobless.
I have a big day at work tomorrow and i am worried I mess up. I put so much pressure on myself and end up frustrated when mistakes happen.
The bullying at my last place of work has affected me more than I could have imagined. I stayed there too long and was that badly stressed I didn't go down the grievance route because I couldn't face it.
I let people walk all over me, I can't say no to people and I keep my mouth shut if I don't agree with anything. I have lost all confidence in anything I do.
I don't know what to do. I don't want counselling because I can't stand the thought of been put on some waiting list for a year on end and all the gp can do is give me pills and tell me everything is fine.
I wish I could find a way to cope somehow, to get my confidence back and come out of this shell I'm hiding in.
That sounds really tough. Thing is about counselling, it may well not take a year to get seen. Also, you don't need to think about it while you are waiting, and it may help when it finally happens.
Definitely see your GP. May I ask how old you are? Hormonal imbalance can feel like this, too.
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