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AIBU to think this is horrendously long wait for a termination?

(28 Posts)
PlentyOfBiscuitsWithTea Wed 12-Apr-17 18:12:27

DH and I, after a LOT of discussion, despite our feelings being the same since I POAS, have decided to have a termination. We have two young (preschool) DC already and it would mean a total life upheaval which I can't justify as not a single part of me feels an emotional connection to this pregnancy. We were using contraception and it failed. I have no idea how far I am as I can't for the life of me remember when my last period was but I estimate I am between 8-12 weeks. Aside from my GP feeling my abdomen and saying he didn't think I was past 13 wks as he couldn't feel my uterus no one seems in a rush to see me to get an appointment. I couldn't get a preassessment in person until 21st April (phoned up Marie Stopes last Tuesday) so ended up having one over the phone yesterday. I then booked the procedure for the nearest time, 28th April. This will mean I will be quite far along (I worry) and will have had to spend a month knowingly pregnant and until I can find out exactly how far along I am.
On top of the emotional turmoil I have horrible sickness, and I swear they suspect at work.
I have never, ever been so miserable as I am right now. I never realised what a horrific process this would all be. Is it always this long? I've always been pro-choice but never anticipated I would personally ever be in this situation.

Mombie2016 Wed 12-Apr-17 18:15:41

Marie Stopes gave me an appointment within 7 days and it was over and done with the same day - I was around 5/6 weeks though.

Are there any other private clinics that you could get to?

NHS waiting times are awful flowers

Pooh2 Wed 12-Apr-17 18:20:47

Really sorry to hear you have to wait so long, that must be really hard. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, I don't think you should have to wait anywhere near this long flowers

FloatyCat Wed 12-Apr-17 18:48:23

No, find somewhere else this is far too long to wait.

PlentyOfBiscuitsWithTea Wed 12-Apr-17 18:53:53

But where else is there?! This is where my GP told me to go! I feel like there aren't that many options really are there?!
When you google anything about this the sh!t the internet dredges up is unbearable.
If I go to anywhere other than MS then it would be private, right? Bc my GP referred to MS. It can I take the letter he signed to any clinic and it would be NHS funded?

SalemSaberhagen Wed 12-Apr-17 18:57:01

Have you tried BPAS, OP? I organised mine through them without going to the doctor. They do NHS funded ones, just ask your address and name to make sure that you are NHS eligible.

TheCakes Wed 12-Apr-17 18:57:25

I wonder if you can ask to be put on a cancellation list? I've done this for other hospital procedures and had calls at short notice. I imagine they get a lot of cancellations and wasted appointments.

missyB1 Wed 12-Apr-17 18:59:58

Call BPAS, you don't have to use Marie Stopes.

SpinMill Wed 12-Apr-17 19:03:16

Ring BPAS, you don't need to be referred by your doctor and it's NHS funded.

Redyellowpinkblue Wed 12-Apr-17 19:03:28

Bpas are good, and quick. Was a fortnight from assessment to treatment but only because of travel and commitments for me, could have had it faster. They just write and let your gp know they've done it apparently.

Crumbs1 Wed 12-Apr-17 19:45:15

You can phone BPAS central number. There is a 5 day contact to treatment time. You don't need a GP letter or referral. You can choose which clinic you go to.

starzzzz Wed 12-Apr-17 19:46:49

Poor you OP. I would really hate this so my heart goes out to you flowers

Ecureuil Wed 12-Apr-17 19:56:43

Mine was done directly through BPAS, I didn't see the GP. I thought mine took a long time (10 days to initial assessment as it was over Easter last year then another 5 days until the procedure) but a month is far too long IMO.

PlentyOfBiscuitsWithTea Thu 13-Apr-17 22:37:42

Just to update. I called BPAS this morning following advice from this thread. After a 25min hold time (they told me they were extremely busy at the moment!) they said London had over a 2 week clinic wait but if I was prepared to travel they would look for nearest appointment. V helpful. Unfortunately it then transpired that my local health authority only release NHS funding to Marie Stopes so I would have to go privately. I was really disappointed.
However... I called MS this evening to see if there was a cancellation list/procedure and although they said no they did say I could keep calling to see if anything was available sooner. So I asked her to check then and there is a slot tomorrow morning!! I could t be more relieved. Ordeal will be over v soon!
Thanks to all for the advice/support!

starzzzz Thu 13-Apr-17 22:39:21

I hope it goes okay for you flowers

DubiousCredentials Thu 13-Apr-17 22:41:11

flowers hope it goes ok for you op.

Honeybee79 Thu 13-Apr-17 22:41:33

Glad you got a faster appointment op. Wishing you the best flowers

anyadviceplease35 Thu 13-Apr-17 22:42:57

Hope all goes ok op brewcake

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Thu 13-Apr-17 22:45:07

It's good that you got an earlier appointment.
You've made your decision and shouldn't have to wait.
All the best for tomorrow

peachgreen Thu 13-Apr-17 22:45:27

I had a missed miscarriage of a desperately-wanted baby recently and had to wait that long for an ERPC. It was awful. Gynae care in general is pretty atrocious imho - they're falling over themselves to look after you when you're pregnant but once you've lost the baby or wish to terminate the pregnancy, they drop you like a stone. No support at all.

Hope it goes okay tomorrow, OP. Glad you got an earlier appointment.

UnbornMortificado Thu 13-Apr-17 22:49:54

Plenty I hope it goes ok tomorrow and sorry you've had such a hard time flowers

Cakeycakecake Thu 13-Apr-17 23:01:25

Hey you think that's bad.
Marie stopes saw me and said I wasn't far along enough. I had a really bad bleed over the course of a couple of weeks and they determined mc. Fine. Was told I needed a scan to check all was gone. Nope they found ANOTHER heartbeat. Unable to complete termination without counselling due to twin pregnancy despite clearly only one heartbeat remaining.
At the pill taking (was the final day for it before surgical had to be done) they say to me that no, we don't check you after this, the tablets categorically WILL get everything gone. Well they didn't. I ended up with an emergency erpc because not only does my body fail at pregnancy it also fails at terminating one too. My body was highly infected swollen and was the cause of a hospital admittance.
Termination started in October. I'm finally recovering now. NHS is wonderful but like other poster said, when it comes to this side of pregnancy they seriously drop the ball.
Hope tomorrow goes well and sorry for ranting op.

user1491572121 Thu 13-Apr-17 23:07:23

flowers OP I am glad you sorted it all out. I hope you're soon feeling better.

Goldfishjane Thu 13-Apr-17 23:09:09

Oh I feel for you OP
I can say a friend felt she was being made to wait too long, so perhaps this is a thing. Scary.
All good wishes flowers

NeedsAsockamnesty Thu 13-Apr-17 23:13:51

I've had cause to attempt to book 6 all within the last month.(work related not personal)

In my area the first appointment I could obtain was a telephone consult on the 24th and then an obligatory week wait after.
The lady for this one has no clue how far along she is due to no periods and not that long ago would have most certainly fitted the criteria for same day initial consult and treatment.

Not one person on the list of people I was attempting to assist (all in dire situations where personal safety and rape are a factor) was able to obtain a all in one treatment, not one person was given any appointment priority despite by the time one of them has her appointment come up is highly likely to be over the limit.

Every single one was saying they could go anywhere in the uk.
And both orgs were approached.

It's never been anything that's ever been an issue for my work previously and I've been shocked beyond belief by how dreadful both services have become

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