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Not sure if I can let this one go! (Could trigger)

(4 Posts)
MummyAndHerMotleyCrue Wed 12-Apr-17 16:49:31

Since the birth of my son things in my 5 year relationship have not been amazing. Iv not really got my sex drive back and we have since gone from and everyday to a once maybe twice a week couple. My son is now 9 months old. This did not happen when I had my first 2 years ago. This has caused alot of problems with my partner hes forever sulking because im not up for it and so on.
Since we have not been at it every day we seems to argue more and more. Its getting to the point we cant go a day without a argument and they just progressively seem to be getting worse and worse.
Anyhow about two months ago we find out im pregnant again and decide its not for the best to keep the child. We had a termination (I expect to get a hard time for that) its been about two months and im still feeling crap and upset about it.
For about two weeks after my partner is great but whenever I try to talk about my feelings he just shuts me down, it turns into a argument and he goes on about how he does not want to talk about it. Its ment iv bottled up how I feel about it but thats made me some what off I guess which has led to more arguments.
One argument we had I was asking him to spend the night watching films instead of him playing games. It blows up from there and he stated I just want sympathy and want to act like the victim since the abortion. Obviously this left me very hurt and upset so I watches films in bed that night and cried alone. I dont know when he came to bed.
A few days later we were arguing about money. I had 100 pound in my purse went and did what I needed to do for everyone and he blew his lid because he needed 40 pound (we are skint until tomorrow) but what he needed the money for could of waited until tomorrow.
Of course this blows up and hes sat screaming at me about how he wont stay with someone who wont have sex with him (we had sex the night before) and when I calmly explained I have not been great the last few months with the termination, a kidney infection and now my period he said to me I was trying to act a victim about the termination, we both agreed to it and I should stop acting so selfish and off with everyone. All I said to him was I have noone to talk to about how I feel which is why I am probably acting off and he responded with "you and me chose to have a termination its not like you miscarried stop fantasizing about the dead baby you didnt want"

I dont know if I can forgive that. Could he be hurting which is why he said it? Is he just a prick? Is the fact everything isnt normal at the moment making things like this? Is it my fault?

Anything to help make me make sense of this and make it better is much welcome even if its me thats in the wrong so I can try and fix this

histinyhandsarefrozen Wed 12-Apr-17 17:00:50

You poor thing, you've been having a really tough time flowers
He doesn't sound supportive, he doesn't sound sensitive, he sounds like a selfish git. Was he always like this?
Have you got family/friends you can confide in? I think you need some kindness right now.

highinthesky Wed 12-Apr-17 17:05:24

We can't make sense of someone with no feeling. DP is not only crass but spiteful. This is not the way you treat people you love.


MummyAndHerMotleyCrue Wed 12-Apr-17 17:09:17

Hes very much alike lock down kind of person when things get to him. I have not tried to talk to him about it much but sometimes I just need to talk. Our choice was right for us but it does not make me feel any better about it. He has never been so insensitive about anything but I feel like because the arguments are getting worse he is flinging worse stuff at me. If I said I was completely innocent It would be a lie but I say things more "you've been sat on that computer all day how can you say I hog your time" or "we had your five seconds of sex last night why are you moaning" ... not particularly nice but nothing in comparison.
He fantastic through the day but when we argue it just blows up! I am off but I have noone I can talk to. We decided to keep it a private matter he has a very religious family and I have a very over baring one but I feel him not communicating and me getting shut down when I try is just destroying us

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