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To Think My Obesity Isn't a Public Issue?

(135 Posts)
Hesdeadjim Wed 12-Apr-17 15:51:19

I'm obese.

I've dropped 30lbs since new years day and it's all going swimmingly. I'm no longer morbidly obese (huzzah!) but I'm still "normal" hmm obese.


Today I was dishing out my lunch and a colleague decided to critique it for me and tell me all the places I'm going wrong with my diet, which, in her opinion, is why I'm "the size I am" hmm This is a pretty common thing to happen in our work place, I work with a few people with no filter.

1. You shouldnt have dressing on your salad (it was full fat ceasar)
2. Don't add cheese (full fat parmasan)
3. Avocados are bad because they are high calorie (there was half an avocado)
4. You need more protein so you dont snack later (there was 200g chicken breast on there)
5. You only need to eat breakfast OR lunch, not both (I had a coffee with double cream in it for breakfast).

So I explained that I'm on a high fat, low carb way of eating and doing well on it so far, to which she wrinkled her nose and said it's a fad diet and will never work. I should eat low carb AND low fat to lose weight. I did my usual "aah thanks for the advice, I'll bear that in mind" conversation dodge and retreated to clean up my lunch prep.

This then sparked another colleague to chip in and start a whole discussion about obesity related disease and how people are fat through choice. He thought I couldn't hear because I was around the corner behind the fridge door so it wasn't meant to hurt me or anything. The conversation progressed to chatting about how they'd seen documentaries where people were eating doughnuts and takeaways then wondering why they were fat. It wasn't a nice conversation. I slammed the fridge door loudly as i left but I don't think it registered.

AIBU to be fed up about being a bloody conversation starter? My weight is my problem and I completely, whole heartedly accept responsibility for it but I don't think it pre-qualifies me for a life of feeling shit about myself because other people make assumptions about my lifestyle??

I've had comments at the gym before which have stopped me going and even out for walks with my dogs I overheard a couple saying "poor dogs clearly never get walked"... fyi my dogs are walked 4 miles a day everyday and we do a 12 mile walk most weekends angry

I feel properly rubbish now and as if no matter how much weight I lose I'm always going to feel the need to apologize for myself sad I'm sick of people making assumptions about my health because of my weight and tired of feeling the need to explain the food I eat to everyone. THere was a guy sat at a table in the lunch area munching down on a massive chunk of birthday cake while the conversation was happening today and no one batted an eye.

Sorry, needed to get that out. Feeling properly crap.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero Wed 12-Apr-17 15:55:56

YANBU, I'm sorry some people have no manners or respect for others. I know it's easy to say and hard to do but try to not let it grind you down.

That said can I say you are amazing! 30lb in 3&1/2 months! I think you are now officially my inspiration to try harder to shift the weight I need to lose.

TitaniasCloset Wed 12-Apr-17 15:56:14

I don't think people realise just how fucking rude they are being. Its as if all social etiquette gets thrown out when talking about a fat lady, and its always about a woman. Then the sane people will say fat shaming does not exist and plus size models are encouraging obesity. I'm sick of it. Yanbu. They need to shut up and have some manners.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 12-Apr-17 15:56:21

Excellent progress on 30lbs weight loss smile.

Keep at it and ignore the rude, ignorant twats who have no idea about what entails you to successsfully lose weight.

Perhaps a response of "I really don't want to discuss my lunch" and an icy stare just as you see anyone about to open their mouths to pass comment.

Nairsmellsbad Wed 12-Apr-17 15:59:37

Perhaps a response of "I really don't want to discuss my lunch" and an icy stare just as you see anyone about to open their mouths to pass comment.
This. You are doing amazingly and they can fuck right off.

Spybot Wed 12-Apr-17 16:01:32

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly. 30 pounds is a lot of weight loss in a relatively short time. Your diet is sensible and balanced. Nutrition is a subject that every Tom, Dick and Harry thinks they can preach about. Just because they are slim doesn't mean they know what they are talking about. I was slim, really slim for years and ate very poorly. Try to block them out and and ignore! A lot of them will be trying to lose weight one day and wondering why it is so hard.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 12-Apr-17 16:01:57

Yanbu congratulations on your weight loss and no longer being morbidly obese!

Your diet clearly is working! And it's no one else's business what you eat or what you weigh.

I can't get my head around low carb high fat but then I'm a Diet Coke addict wink but it doesn't matter what I think or anyone else thinks because it's working for you.

Best of luck with the rest of your weight loss flowers

SmileEachDay Wed 12-Apr-17 16:02:35

You are 30lbs lighter.

They are still the same poundage of twat.

Smile, nod and swear REALLY loudly in your head. The bad swears grin

PurpleDaisies Wed 12-Apr-17 16:02:59

I can totally understabd why you're annoyed. Tell them to keep their unsolicited advice to themselves and try to resist the temptation to argue your case.

CiderwithBuda Wed 12-Apr-17 16:05:23

Well done n your weight loss! I think I was one who pointed you in the way of the Bootcamp threads. Fab that it's working so well for you.

I know just what you mean about some people's comments. I have one friend in particular who has made a few absolutely cracking comments to me. I mentioned dh being stressed and I said to him that him having a heart attack wouldn't help anyone and friend just had to say that I am also at risk due to obesity. Her best was when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and she asked had I been told that it is due to lifestyle.

And people just don't get lchf. Some people have a rigid idea of what to do to lose weight. And it might work for some but not for everyone!

PinkHeart59156816 Wed 12-Apr-17 16:06:07

You have done incredibly well losing the 30lbs already so your diet works for you.

I don't really understand low carb but I know people find it successful amd many rave about it on here but it's nothing to do with me or anyone else how you lose your weight.

People are rude and all I can say is just ignore the rudeness

Pollydonia Wed 12-Apr-17 16:06:52

I'm annoyed for you. I have a chronic health problem and meds have made my weight go up. The amount of " useful advice" ( rude comments) given to me by colleagues is astonishing.
I wish they'd all fuck off.
Your doing what works for you, and doing well on it flowers

MrsMeeseeks Wed 12-Apr-17 16:08:25

Well done on your weight loss, OP - you are doing brilliantly!

I think the low carb high fat diet can be hard for some people to get their heads around but there is no excuse for your colleagues' rudeness.

LittleWingSoul Wed 12-Apr-17 16:08:50

Your lunch sounds delicious and if you have lost weight eating like that then keep at it, lucky you!

People can be really mean, they're possibly jealous/annoyed/confused that you are eating something that looks really tasty rather than punishing, like 1 plain ryvita or something!

icy121 Wed 12-Apr-17 16:09:14

Bunch of cunts. Ignore ignore ignore! Keep doing what you're doing, the world is full of opinionated twats

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 12-Apr-17 16:12:31

I've had comments at the gym before which have stopped me going

Please don't let cuntish comments prevent you from working out. Report them to the staff if you've been on the receiving end of gobshites' crap opinions.

RainbowJack Wed 12-Apr-17 16:14:26

"I can lose weight, you'll still be a nasty person"

Honeybee79 Wed 12-Apr-17 16:15:16

Of course yanbu! Ignore the Twats. You're doing brilliantly.

JustSpeakSense Wed 12-Apr-17 16:15:50

Well done for losing so much weight! Keep it up, it's inspirational reading about stories such as yours on here.

Sorry you've had such rude comments, it's unacceptable. Remember you can lose your excess weight yet they cannot lose their cuntish personalities!

Do you have to eat lunch alongside them?

FooFighter99 Wed 12-Apr-17 16:18:11

I echo the sentiments above and applaud your impressive weight loss!!

I am currently a morbidly obese fat bastard and am trying my best to shift some weight, it's bloody hard going though so please ignore the morons you work with and keep doing what you're doing, it's obviously working for you! smile

Musicaltheatremum Wed 12-Apr-17 16:18:55

Oh they know it all don't they. I could have lost about 20 pounds by now but I haven't because I don't control what I eat. I'm full of admiration for you and rather ashamed of myself as I could have done it.
I keep telling my patients I will have a competition with them to lose weight. They go away and do it and I'm still podgy. (BMI 31). Keep up the great work. You have done your body and general health so many favours by getting rid of this amount of weight.

trappedinsuburbia Wed 12-Apr-17 16:19:26

Congratulations on losing 30 lb !
Your colleagues are incredibly rude, I am at the other end of the spectrum and slim/tall and find it equally as rage inducing when people find the need to tell me how to eat as well.

abigwideworld Wed 12-Apr-17 16:21:38

YANBU. I don't understand lchf but I wouldn't go lecturing about something I don't understand! They're idiots. Well done on your amazing weight loss.

buttfacedmiscreant Wed 12-Apr-17 16:21:40

"Would you like me to criticize all the things I think you are doing wrong? No? Then please stop critiquing my lunch."

kirstxx Wed 12-Apr-17 16:22:10

Your weight loss so far is great, keep doing what you were doing, it's obviously working!

Don't understand the critique of your lunch, it's not as if you're sat there with something bad for you like a jumbo maccy d's! (Even if you were, everyone is entitled to a treat)
Avocado is good fat, chicken is good protein, salad is just good for you and so what a bit of full fat salad dressing and cheese!

It's obviously working for you and I know it might be difficult but try to ignore their comments about your diet. People love to talk about other people's 'problems' because they don't have to think about their own. Don't let it drag you down.

I'm part of a weight loss group on facebook linked to Slimming World (though I don't actually do SW myself). People share handy tips and recipes. People are also very supportive, if you're having a down day they pick you up with some (not too) tough love. Everyone is in the same boat on there whether trying to lose 5lb or 15 stone.. Might be worth looking into a group like that to give you some positive feedback to counterbalance the idiots you work with.

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