DH regularly has a go at me because ex does not pay maintenance for Dd1.
I am sick of it! It is not my fault and I cannot control this, it is a situation not of my doing. Ex used to pay but lost his job, has paid nothing for 18months despite CSA involvement which has now stopped anyway as they have taken to making the children pay from what they collect.
As a result, I am more in debt as I refuse to let DD go without. DH thinks it costs him but really it doesn't, I soak up extra costs, childcare, clothes, gifts for birthdays and Christmas, activities, lunch money.
DH pays for his share of the household bills. I pay mine
He thinks I should tell Xp parents that he doesn't pay. I think they are great and don't need extra worry, he probably doesn't tell them the truth but they have always tried to make up for the fact he is useless.
DH also says I should stop contact if ex won't pay. I won't do that to DD. She loves her dad even if he is useless. I did recently tell her why things are the way they are, that her dad left us out to dry and that everything she enjoys I provide. Before that she thought I was a devil mother, despite only ever trying to make things better for her. Now I get cuddles from her when I would have had a cold shoulder. It wasn't fun telling her the truth and we both cried buckets.
So.... What am I supposed to do? I can't force ex to pay/get a job. I can't get DH to see my point of view! Stuck!
Please or to access all these features
Please
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to access all these features
AIBU?
To not have control over ExP?
31 replies
LurpakIstheOnlyButter · 11/04/2017 23:49
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