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These friends get on my nerves lately!

(20 Posts)
AfroPunk Tue 11-Apr-17 18:08:23

I don't really care if IBU or not. I need to vent this evening; write it down and get it out! DH isn't here and no one really cares anyway, so here goes.

I have a friend who is sweet and genuinely very kind, yet paradoxically so 'me, me, me'; always talking about herself, her life, how stuff affects her. Recently, her child had a birthday and she posted a picture on social media of her in her underwear, a bump photo just before she gave birth to honour the special occasion. No picture of the child as a baby in sight. It is a beautiful photo, but you know what I mean?

Another friend keeps lamenting that her 3 beautiful children are growing too quickly. The eldest is her true friend and the youngest is a gorgeous toddler. I just keep thinking 'Yeah, they're not baby tiny anymore, but you are so lucky to have them, just appreciate them for who they are now. Stop griping!'

Time to focus on other friends, I know ...

gammaraystar Tue 11-Apr-17 18:09:41

Ermmm... maybe time to leave Facebook. This sounds normal to me.

AfroPunk Tue 11-Apr-17 18:11:20

Not all FB. Both are friends on FB; the photo was on FB but I regularly see both.

PinkHeart59156816 Tue 11-Apr-17 18:14:13

I think it's natural to think your dc are growing to quick tbh confused my eldest is only 19 months and I already think his grown far too quick but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the little toddler he is confused

Uploading a bump photo on your child's first birthday I would say is normal. I don't have any social media so didn't upload anything but got my scan photos out to look at on my dc 1st birthday. Going from having a bump to a 1 year old is quite something

I think if these perfectly normal things annoy you just look at different friends pages or try not using Facebook

MiddleClassProblem Tue 11-Apr-17 18:14:50

Is this a reverse? I'm not sure I see what they've done to you to be bad friends.

Maybe the first doesn't want pics of her kid on the internet?
Maybe the latter is struggling and confiding. Are they not meant to talk about their kids? I'm just a bit confused

Wolfiefan Tue 11-Apr-17 18:15:16

You don't sound like you actually like them. Are they really your friends?

acquiescence Tue 11-Apr-17 18:18:46

You sounds mean.

Owllady Tue 11-Apr-17 18:19:53

Are you upset for personal reasons?
I don't really understand Facebook

AllllGooone Tue 11-Apr-17 18:20:44

As isolated incidents they don't sound bad

PurpleMinionMummy Tue 11-Apr-17 18:21:13

What's wrong with thinking your kids are growing up too quickly? confused

EveningShadows Tue 11-Apr-17 18:22:41

I'm assuming you don't have kids and this is why this is distressing?

AfroPunk Tue 11-Apr-17 18:28:36

The bump photo was for a primary school aged child. I agree that it is normal to miss your dcs being babies, but my friend talks about it a lot lately. I know someone who was unable to conceive and never had dcs, so I admit this colours my perception.

I'm actually okay IRL, just blowing off some steam here because their self- indulgence is getting too much. They're not one-offs, just the icing on pretty big cakes.

AfroPunk Tue 11-Apr-17 18:28:51

I do have dcs.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries Tue 11-Apr-17 18:37:40

I've been whining a lot about DD growing up too fast on social media lately grin she turned three yesterday and it blows my mind that I even have a child, let alone one that's three years old. Makes me feel old.

I still appreciate the child that she is hmm

Maybe you need to step away from FB if it's bad for your blood pressure?

AfroPunk Tue 11-Apr-17 18:42:10

I'm not going to keep writing that only the photo appeared on FB.

Maybe MN isn't the place for me anymore? You're obviously all so much better than me <doffs cap>

nicenewdusters Tue 11-Apr-17 18:49:38

I get what you mean OP. I love being with my friends but sometimes certain aspects of them drive me nuts. One is obsessed with her dc's schooling and is a subject changer when she gets tired of what's being said. Another is obsessed with work, and another mainly talks about herself.

But these are just one aspect of their personality, and I know there are things about me that must get on their nerves. My response - to step away every now and again and try to not get too involved in the stuff that irritates me.

Theycalledmethewildrose Tue 11-Apr-17 18:54:24

I think when our children reach milestones e.g a birthday, first day of a new school year etc, it can be a time of reflection for some parents and very often a sudden realisation of how quickly a year has passed.

Maybe there is more of a backstory re your friends and I'm guessing that is why it seems they are indulging themselves by remarking on it. Personally when I do it (although I don't often post it on FB), it is more an appreciation of what I have than self indulgence.

MiddleClassProblem Tue 11-Apr-17 20:14:16

Well if these minor things are just the icing on the cake but you haven't said any other issues what are people meant to say other than go by what you said?

Bit hypocritical to be looking for other people to moan to about people who you complain are being self indulgent.

Can only go by what you've written. We're not mind readers.

Owllady Tue 11-Apr-17 20:18:19

Well I have been moaning about mine growing up too this year
I'm about to turn forty and mine are turning 18, 16 &10 and I do feel it has been quick
I'm not about to post my naked body on Facebook though. I'd break the internet

Bluntness100 Tue 11-Apr-17 20:20:19

Well I think it's fairly self absorbed so yes I agree with you on that op, where we part ways is I wouldn't really care and would see it as harmless, i wouldn't be irritated.

However I don't use face book. The amount of people who claim they know it's not real life then act like it is not just real life it's important real life baffles me.

She posted s bump pic on face book? Who cares? How can that possibly be important enough to annoy?

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