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Held to ransom by MiL

(46 Posts)
summerfruitsquash Tue 11-Apr-17 15:14:24

We've come to PiLs for lunch today. They've taken DD out for a walk.

What's wrong with this? Well in my 10
week pregnant, up all night with a teething 1 year old, hormonal state - every fucking thing.

All I wanted to do was have lunch, a chat and go home for a sleep.

We had to wait two hours for MiL to faff around cooking lunch. So I felt incredibly unwell by the time it appeared. Not to mention hangry DD.
Then they insisted (despite my many excuses and glares at OH) that we should stay here and relax while they took her for a walk.

We've been sat here an hour now and I'm bored shitless. I can't think of anything less relaxing than being stuck at someone else's house when exhausted and sick.
To make matters worse, OH promptly stretched himself out on the sofa and fell asleep. He's convinced he slept for 5 minutes (my fucking arse, it was 45 at least).

I'm ashamed to say I just threw a huge teary, hormonal tantrum at him because he completely ignored me trying to excuse ourselves to MiL. He knows how shit I've felt lately and how much I just want to be at home.

I know I'm BVU and should be grateful for the break. I'm just so very very tired.

Wolfiefan Tue 11-Apr-17 15:17:44

Maybe if you felt so unwell you should have cancelled? Just sounds like they want to see their grandchild. They probably think they are doing you a favour. You haven't had to cook, clear up and now they are entertaining your child!

KayTee87 Tue 11-Apr-17 15:20:56

wolfie she probably ended up feeling so unwell as she had to wait 2 hours for lunch. I know when I was pregnant I had to eat small regular meals to even feel half way human in the first 3 months.

Op your dh should have said to pil that you were going home as you didn't feel well and you'd arrange another time they could go out with dc.

MatildaTheCat Tue 11-Apr-17 15:20:57

YABU but it's understandable if pregnant and sleep deprived.

Put dh in charge for the rest of the day and have a sleep when you get home. The il laws haven't broken any laws or been unreasonable so thank them nicely and get home.

MatildaTheCat Tue 11-Apr-17 15:22:01

Oh and keep snacks in your bag for occasion like this. A cereal bar--or two-- in the loo would have helped.

FABpMummy Tue 11-Apr-17 15:22:02

Yabu. But it's understandable. When you get home make sure DH does bedtime and get yourself an early night.

Beadoren Tue 11-Apr-17 15:22:13

God your MIL sounds like a right cow. I mean, cooking you lunch and taking your DD out for a walk to give you a rest, how horrible. And your awful husband for making use of the time and having a snooze.

Have a biscuit. You're being hormonal and vvvvvu.

KayTee87 Tue 11-Apr-17 15:22:18

Ask dh to call his parents and ask them to come back as you're feeling unwell and need to go to bed.

happypoobum Tue 11-Apr-17 15:31:15

Oh dear, agree get DH to call them and say they need to come back.

As you had been up all night maybe you should have taken advantage of the opportunity to have an empty house today and let DH go with DD? Too late now but keep that idea up your sleeve for next time flowers

summerfruitsquash Tue 11-Apr-17 15:33:49

I did eat before we left the house, as MiL has form for serving a late meal.,I haven't been able to predict when or how hungry I'll feel lately. I go from hungry to sick very quickly and without warning! It's hard keeping this one secret.

I did consider cancelling but like I said, wanted PiLs to see DD and have some time with her. I just didn't think I'd be coerced into having some not very relaxing and unwanted time to myself.
They are lovely people and I do think of them in the same regard as my own parents. I'm just a miserable cow this week.

MargotLovedTom1 Tue 11-Apr-17 15:35:26

I know you say it's not relaxing being at someone else's house, but you could have had 40 winks in the chair if you were that knackered?

HouseworkIsASin10 Tue 11-Apr-17 15:35:32

Why couldn't you stay at home? DH should be quite capable of visiting his parents with DD.

You should have stayed in bed and had a kip.

summerfruitsquash Tue 11-Apr-17 15:35:40

Oh and after all that DD only slept for half an hour.

summerfruitsquash Tue 11-Apr-17 15:38:17

Margot because I'm my own special kind of miserable cow that hates naps and can only have them at home if at all. They make me feel ill.

Housework I could have but I've already done that twice in the past month. ILs have a habit of stopping by unexpectedly if they haven't seen me in a while too. I'd rather just a painful day out than a surprise visit when I might feel worse.

ByeByeBadman Tue 11-Apr-17 15:38:21

They are trying to help. However I know in your shoes I would probably feel the same.

However their intention is kind so try to let it go

Nanny0gg Tue 11-Apr-17 15:39:50

I assume they don't know you're pregnant?

Guitargirl Tue 11-Apr-17 15:41:04

Stay at home next time and take advantage of the time to rest.

And crackers and jelly babies for your bag.

NeedABumChange Tue 11-Apr-17 15:42:22

You're a grown up. Why didn't you just say you were feeling unwell and that you needed to go home?

KateDaniels2 Tue 11-Apr-17 15:44:42

You know you get hungry at weird times. You know she often serves food late. Carry food in your bag.

They don't know how you feel if you dont tell them.

Their intentions are good.

fourteenlittleducks Tue 11-Apr-17 15:45:04

I would have cancelled and sent DH and DD by themselves. Why didn't you stay home and sleep?

I think they're just trying to help you out. They probably think you're enjoying a break.

I'd make the best of it- is there a spare room you can lie down in? Why didn't you tell mil you were hungry and queasy, and make yourself a snack? Pregnant women are exempt from normal social etiquette smile

I'm a bit confused because you could have said no to the walk eg 'actually I'm feeling sick and want to get home, thanks for lunch'. What prevented you speaking up?

MargotLovedTom1 Tue 11-Apr-17 15:46:32

summer you're going to have two children under two: you will come to bloody love naps speaking from bitter experience wink.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 11-Apr-17 15:47:01

Next time just tell them you're not feeling well and actually just need to go home and lie down.
If your OH demurs, tell him you'll take the car and his parents can bring him home later if he can't be arsed to drive you back now.

BertrandRussell Tue 11-Apr-17 15:49:43

Why didn't you ask her for some toast or something to keep you going?

peggyundercrackers Tue 11-Apr-17 15:50:16

why cant you say how your feeling instead of throwing your DH glares and glances? sorry YABVU.

Itaintme Tue 11-Apr-17 15:50:33

If they don't even know you are pregnant how is any of this their fault?

Being pregnant is not an excuse to slag off your MiL for cooking you lunch and taking your DD out to give you a break.

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