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To have just lied to other parents about what I do?

(116 Posts)
ShamefulDodger Mon 10-Apr-17 18:47:10

Inspired by a recent thread on here about loneliness I decided I didn't want dd to end up like me (I'm essentially an autistic hermit) so enrolled her on a dance class.

We had our first lesson today and actually it went really well. Dd had a shaky start but then went off to dance happily with the other children.

It was a very proud moment.

I even managed to hold a conversation with a group of parents without appearing too odd. (I hope)

But...the inevitable question of 'what do you do?' came up.

I thought I was 'blending' in quite well, so didn't really want to announce that actually I was disabled and an ashamed recluse that lives off benefits.

So I told them I was a writer confused

Not a successful one or anything. But I told them that was my work.

It's not a total lie. Writing is the big one of my obsessions. I've got mountains (not an exaggeration) of files and usb's full of everything from little articles to a children's series of books I've written.

I've just never sent them anywhere.

But in true obsessional fashion I am now trying to figure out if I've made a complete idiot of myself and should send dh from now on.

Or front it out because it's only a sort of half lie. grin

Birdsbeesandtrees Mon 10-Apr-17 18:48:17

Well you are a writer aren't you ?

You just don't make money from it - like many writers grin or so I am told.

What's stopping you sending your stuff off.

PoorYorick Mon 10-Apr-17 18:48:51

They were just being polite and don't really care, so I wouldn't stress about it. If they think you're a writer, it's a given that you like being holed up for hours on your own anyway.

TigerBreadAddict Mon 10-Apr-17 18:48:57

You are a writer. Relax smile
They were probably just being polite and aren't going to think about what you 'do' any further x

Birdsbeesandtrees Mon 10-Apr-17 18:49:03

As in getting it published ?

I hope it's not fear of rejection because even J K Rowling was rejected for Harry Potter !

Bluntness100 Mon 10-Apr-17 18:49:41

I don't see the issue here. You didn't say you were a published writer. Don't stress, it's fine,😁

OldGuard Mon 10-Apr-17 18:51:52

If you get up in the morning and you write, then you're a writer

smile

Actually it's a great answer - may I borrow it ?

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Mon 10-Apr-17 18:52:11

I'm glad the class went well.
Don't worry about the rest. No one will remember.

willconcern Mon 10-Apr-17 18:52:21

Send your books off to a publisher!

Branleuse Mon 10-Apr-17 18:52:29

You are a writer. Getting money for it would not make it any more or less real. You write, you love writing, youre a writer

MrsMozart Mon 10-Apr-17 18:53:51

You sound like a writer yo me.

Very well done on all counts flowers

ShamefulDodger Mon 10-Apr-17 18:55:32

Oh good grin

I did have a nice time but sometimes get massively unsure if I've made a social cock up.

I'd managed to get myself in a state when I got back, worrying about all the completely fantastical ways I was going to be 'caught out' and laughed at.

I just enjoy writing, almost as much as reading. I've never really thought about sending any off.

I just like to finish it, polish it up until I love it, then file it away and start a new project grin

SmileEachDay Mon 10-Apr-17 18:56:15

Are you my BF?
She describes writing as "one of my little obsessions". It took her a long, long time to pluck up the nerve...

She's now three books into a publishing deal, with more on the way.

You're a writer.

PrincessHairyMclary Mon 10-Apr-17 18:56:48

Presumably if you have a DH you could also refer to yourself as a house wife if you prefer that.

It's always awkward when you meet new people, I remember the first baby group I went to and lots of people were there with their partners and asked me what my partner did, I didn't (nor do I now) have one and having to say I was a single mum, (therefore living off benefits) felt awful. I'm almost proud of it now, 7 years on owning my own car, home doing another degree supporting myself feels amazing.

Be proud that you stepped outside your comfort zone, took your DD to a class and you are a writer! Why not send your stories off you'll never know if you don't try.

ShamefulDodger Mon 10-Apr-17 18:57:37

OldGuard borrow away grin

I suppose it just induced fresh panic as two of the mums actually seemed really interested.

Pardonwhat Mon 10-Apr-17 18:57:59

You pretty much are a writer. You didn't lie!

ShamefulDodger Mon 10-Apr-17 19:01:57

Thank you.

Actually have a little bit of a warm glow, I'd just thought about it as an extremely time consuming hobby.

I'm a writer. --Just not a published one- grin

TinselTwins Mon 10-Apr-17 19:03:20

They don't care (in a nice way), they're probably all at home agonising about their own social anxiety and thinking they made tits of themselves.

We're all weirdos playing at being "normal" wink

threesocksmeghan Mon 10-Apr-17 19:05:07

You can self publish on Amazon quite easily. PM me if you want some help. I did it with a non fiction book and had some success. It's all free.

Irritationcity Mon 10-Apr-17 19:05:29

I'm a published writer. I constantly meet people who aren't published but are dedicated to their writing. They are writers. You are a writer.

But you should really send your work out. It seems a waste to just put it in a drawer, unless you're completely happy with just the process of writing, which of course is a great thing in itself.

ShamefulDodger Mon 10-Apr-17 19:10:13

TinselTwins quite a comforting thought!

I'm genuinely just happy to write, Dh wanted me to send the last children's series off when he and dsd read them but I didn't feel ready.

That was two years ago grin

Maybe one day.

brasty Mon 10-Apr-17 19:10:36

Someone said this to me. I was just impressed. Don't worry.

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse Mon 10-Apr-17 19:14:56

You didn't lie, you are a writer. So next time you meet with them, and you will as it sounds like you enjoyed it, and if the subject comes up again, you can say that you don't make any money out of it, you've not been published yet etc etc. Then they might say, oh but Shameful, you should send them off to publishers, and you say, hmmm ok maybe I will. And then, well then you send them off to publishers! And when you accept your first Oscar for the adaptation you will thank MN won't you?

BunnyChickChocolateEgg Mon 10-Apr-17 19:16:16

It sounds like you did great - it was brave of you to take you DD to something and socialise - it can be hard work! And their interest shows that you came across really well :-).
You do write, and they didn't ask 'what is your source of income?', but 'what do you do?', so taking their question literally, it was completely true :-).
Don't worry - congratulate yourself on a job well done, and relax (in peace, at home ;-) ).

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha Mon 10-Apr-17 19:16:33

I don't think you've lied, sounds like you've written plenty and are therefore more qualified than many of the people referring to themselves as writers!

Definitely send some of it out though - even if it all gets bounced you can then legitimately refer to yourself as a struggling writer or unappreciated genius.

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