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to expect a 10 year old to have a bit of control even if they have D&V?

(354 Posts)
Hoptastic53 Sun 09-Apr-17 22:55:05

I know I'm probably going to get flamed because this is about my DSD, but here goes. She's been here since Wednesday and has inevitably caught the D&V bug me and her siblings had from last Saturday - Tuesday. She was first sick on Friday and has been sick on the carpets in three different rooms multiple times. She's soiled herself and a carpet and her bed twice. She's been sick in her bed several times and her mattress is probably going to have to be thrown away. She's gone to the bathroom sometimes but even then has got it on the towels, dressing gowns and walls.

When she's sick she's so loud it's like a scene from the exorcist. She's woken the entire house both Friday and last night by being so loud and then coming and switching the light on in our room (where 2 year old DD sleeps) to tell us she'd been sick. She woke half hour ago to tell me she's soiled herself, again. She isn't bothered or embarrassed and just shrugs like it's a matter of fact. Obviously I don't want her to be embarrassed and I don't show that I'm frustrated but AIBU to think that even with a bug, she should have a bit of control?

My other DC managed to stop getting sick anywhere but the toilet or a bowl by about four years old and while missing once or twice during a bout of D&V is perhaps understandable, I feel DSD is making no effort at all.

I'm prepared to be told IBU but after a week of cleaning sick and poo and not sleeping (the sight of sick makes DP sick) and being heavily pregnant, I'm about fed up.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sun 09-Apr-17 22:57:52

I once shat myself on my doorstep and I've puked over many a carpet.

When it comes, it comes.

Mothervulva Sun 09-Apr-17 22:59:08

Get her dad to clean it up

Mothervulva Sun 09-Apr-17 22:59:33

Jus read it makes him feel sick. Boo hoo.

Biffsboys Sun 09-Apr-17 22:59:42

Because she is your sd I think you will get slated here on MN - personally I agree with you . Both my ds have made it to toilet since they were 5ish (with an odd exception)

Nocabbageinmyeye Sun 09-Apr-17 23:00:23

Yanbu, that sounds totally excessive. We have had some violent bugs in this house and managed to never soil ourselves, no matter how young, vomiting maybe but after the first time you just learn to keep the basin closer.

LovingLola Sun 09-Apr-17 23:00:31

Your dp needs to get over his being sick at the sight of his daughter's vomit and help to clean her up.

Fallenmadonnawiththebigboobies Sun 09-Apr-17 23:00:55

All I really got from that is that a 10 year old was being sick in the middle of the night, everyone heard and yet no one went to comfort her. That's really sad.

catscurledupbythefire Sun 09-Apr-17 23:01:14

Oh, you're horrible angry I threw up everywhere with morning (ha!) sickness and I've had a couple of accidents at the other end as well. Poor little girl.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 09-Apr-17 23:01:41

She's 10. Unless you're suggesting she's deliberately vomiting and shitting everywhere yabmassivelyu.

LovingLola Sun 09-Apr-17 23:02:09

Is there a basin she can carry around with her?

LovingLola Sun 09-Apr-17 23:02:46

MInd you, you are giving the impression that she is doing it deliberately...

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 09-Apr-17 23:02:55

And why the fuck should she embarrassed?! She's ill!

Fucks sake...

mumeeee Sun 09-Apr-17 23:03:10


Nocabbageinmyeye Sun 09-Apr-17 23:03:47

I just saw the bit about the sight of sick makes your dh sick hmm maybe you should trot out that bullshit to him, that's a total cop out, I'd be more pissed off with him than her

Iamastonished Sun 09-Apr-17 23:04:21

Did you not provide her with a bucket or bowl that she could be sick in?

Bantanddec Sun 09-Apr-17 23:04:28

The vomiting I can understand, I do remember when I was in year 5 having terrible d and v on holiday, but I never shit myself I went to the toilet.

LockedOutOfMN Sun 09-Apr-17 23:04:30

You're not being unreasonable. While she has the bug can you give her a bucket for sick (my mum always did this, and a towel to put under the bucket) and "proof" the bed, bedroom and bathroom so that the damage is contained? e.g. put away anything that could get vomited on, put old towels under her bedsheets, give her blankets and a bedsheet instead of a less washable duvet, etc.
Also can she help you with any of the clearing up? Like spraying some Dettol in the bathroom and wiping it with a cloth. Or taking stuff to the washing machine.

Rioja123 Sun 09-Apr-17 23:05:11

When me and my sister were little we had it drilled into us that if we felt sick we had to run to the bathroom and mum/dad would hear us and come and sort us out. So at the age of 10, yes, she should not be being sick all over the carpet! Ok maybe the odd accident but it sounds like she isn't even trying. On a different note, why doesn't she have a bowl or something with her next to the bed if she has a sickness bug?

BantyCustards Sun 09-Apr-17 23:07:12

My son is 12.5 and though he tries his best he still is unable to make it - should I think of him in terms of him being a little less than human?

HarrietKettleWasHere Sun 09-Apr-17 23:07:41

Are you saying she's actively choosing to be sick everywhere and shit herself to piss you off?hmm

Also agree with PP that it's mean to hear a child being horribly sick and not even move from your bed to see if they're ok/need anything?

Your DP needs to sort himself out though and pitch in! Sounds pretty lame on his part.

BantyCustards Sun 09-Apr-17 23:08:48

Oh, and as a full grown adult I had e-coli - I shit myself: smooth muscles don't listen to cognitive commands.

Historygirl97 Sun 09-Apr-17 23:10:01

Yes, she should be able to get to the bathroom in time. It sounds like she's not making much of an effort..... Does she have a bucket near her that she can use for vomit etc?
And her dad really should be helping out too!

Wando1986 Sun 09-Apr-17 23:11:01

She's 10. It's pretty much involuntary at that age. When was the last time you puked and shat at the same time? It doesn't feel good and sometimes you don't know it's going to happen, it just comes out. Amazon and Argos sell waterproof mattress protectors for pennies, why the hell didn't you buy one at the first bit of puke? Also why isn't she walking around with a bucket if she's still puking? Why isn't she in bed in a cheap sleeping bag to keep it enclosed, so to speak. Sick kid lessons 101 right there. Jeeze.

HarrietKettleWasHere Sun 09-Apr-17 23:11:10

She probably hasn't figured out the warning signs that mean you have to get the fuck to the bathrooom or contain the vomit in a suitable vessel. I guess if can take a while with some kids, they need to be taught that if they feel like they're about to vomit, they really are probably about to vomit.

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