Talk

Advanced search

To ask who should pay in this situ?

(78 Posts)
Dinnerdilema Sun 09-Apr-17 14:04:04

DD's birthday coming up soon. She said she would like to go to local trampoline park followed by lunch with her best friend. As it would be nice to have adult company, I thought I'd ask friend's mum (she's a good friend of mine) to join us for lunch, or the whole outing if she prefers. Trampolining costs about a tenner per child and I'd obviously pay for that. Adult spectators are free but we'd probably have a coffee as we watched.

My question Is, would it be the done thing for me to pay for lunch for all 4 of us, or should the bill be split 50/50? Alternatively, should I pay for the friend, as DD' s birthday guest, and expect her mum to pay for herself? I would add that I don't drive and, although we could go by bus, it would be easier by car. I thought I'd ask if my friend would mind driving, at least back from lunch, if not to the trampoline place too. It's all very local so not too much hardship for her I don't think. We wouldn't go anywhere too pricey - likely a chain restaurant like Bella Italia or Prezzo.

Sorry to ask but I always feel awkward in "Who pays" type situations so want to get it right!

MsJamieFraser Sun 09-Apr-17 14:05:47

id pay, your inviting them.

LIZS Sun 09-Apr-17 14:07:00

You. It is more for her and your benefit.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Sun 09-Apr-17 14:07:20

Your birthday treat, you pay.

Although if your friend is like me she'll wrestle you Mrs Doyle style to at least go halves.

madmoon Sun 09-Apr-17 14:07:28

I would probably ask her to drive but drop in that you would pay for her lunch.
" do you mind driving to said venue and I will pay for your lunch " at least tht way you get there with ease .

WritingHome Sun 09-Apr-17 14:08:23

You pay for the lot and hopefully she might offer to drive you all there and back

Introvertedbuthappy Sun 09-Apr-17 14:08:25

I think you should pay. If I were friend's Mum I would think you very cheeky if you invited me, expected me to drive everyone there and then pay for half of the lunch bill...

MakeItRain Sun 09-Apr-17 14:08:29

I've done similar in the past and have always paid for everyone. My dd's friend's mum offered to pay for her own lunch but I refused the offer.

chastenedButStillSmiling Sun 09-Apr-17 14:08:29

Agree you pay for everyone to trampoline. Don't think you need to buy the coffees for the watching adults.

Think you should pay for DD and her friend's lunch, as that's the invitation. If you can afford it, I think it would be nice of you to buy the mum lunch as well, esp if she's driving. If this would make it v expensive for you, just make sure she knows in advance that you're not paying for her lunch so she's not shocked in the restaurant when the bill comes.

Hope your DD has a lovely party.

ChasedByBees Sun 09-Apr-17 14:08:35

I think for a party invite, you should pay.

firawla Sun 09-Apr-17 14:10:56

You pay, especially if you're asking her the favour to drive!

Thinking that you'll pay for yourself, dd and her dd and she just pays for herself would be really awkward shock- just get the bill and pay all of it. It'll even out over the years if you're friends and there will be other excursions in future

RaeSkywalker Sun 09-Apr-17 14:11:10

You should definitely pay.

LadyPW Sun 09-Apr-17 14:11:56

You pay, and you don't ask for a lift, you say it's your treat & that as you don't drive you'll be getting the bus, do they prefer to meet you there or bus with you (and mum hopefully says 'we drive you')

rollonthesummer Sun 09-Apr-17 14:12:27

You can't expect her to drive and then expect her to pay for her own dinner too! She's doing you a favour by driving.

notangelinajolie Sun 09-Apr-17 14:13:09

You can't invite someone to your daughters birthday and then tell them they have to pay and oh by the way they are driving you all there as well. Seriously??!!

harderandharder2breathe Sun 09-Apr-17 14:22:19

You pay, like pp suggested, mention it when you ask if she'll drive

Floggingmolly Sun 09-Apr-17 14:24:24

You pay. Of course.

SnookieSnooks Sun 09-Apr-17 14:26:40

Agree with mad moon!

NickMyLipple Sun 09-Apr-17 14:27:24

Clubcard vouchers for lunch??

DonaldStott Sun 09-Apr-17 14:30:10

You pay if you want her to drive, which, unless you're really good friends, I'd feel a bit cheeky asking.

DonaldStott Sun 09-Apr-17 14:31:01

Apols. Just seen she is a good friend, but I still think lunch should be on you.

Papafran Sun 09-Apr-17 14:32:04

You pay, but i agree with a pp who said get some vouchers and then the meal will be half price anyway.

pictish Sun 09-Apr-17 14:33:17

It's an invite to your occasion so you pay. x

HecateAntaia Sun 09-Apr-17 14:36:09

If you are wanting her to ferry you home and possibly there and home and that's really why you're inviting her, then the least you can do is buy her a sandwich. So yes, I'd say you should pay.

Floggingmolly Sun 09-Apr-17 14:37:34

Op, did you really think it was ok to ask your friend to drive you to the venue, in addition to splitting the costs of your dd's birthday party 50/50?
That's embarrassing, actually. Sorry.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now