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Hand washing -help please

(45 Posts)
disgusted123 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:02:33

NC for this. It's really simple, I've just discovered that OH does not wash his hands after using the toilet. Neither does his DS7 and he claims he has never been taught to (at nearly 40). The assumption from this is that his DP do not wash hands after toilet either. I've talked to him about the importance of it and he is very dismissive, thinks I am being OTT and called me Howard Hughes. I've told him we would not have made it past first date if I knew he had such poor hygiene. It makes me feel sick. He says 80% of men don't wash their hands. I've obviously been with the right 20% previously as I have never known a man who doesn't wash until now. So wise women of Mumsnet, can you let me know AIBU? Am I being OTT in insisting on hand washing from OH and his DS. We have a DD together and I would hate for her to grow up thinking this is okay. It also makes me wary as PIL look after DD one day a week and now I don't want them to as they are preparing her food etc and clearly hygiene is not of any importance. Help me to convince him that this is not normal!

insancerre Sun 09-Apr-17 11:04:07


SmileEachDay Sun 09-Apr-17 11:07:57

[[ ]]

It's one of the most important first defences for infection control.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 09-Apr-17 11:08:10

That's disgusting.

Yes plenty of men (and women) are disgusting. But you don't have to live with them.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Sun 09-Apr-17 11:14:53

How long have you been together? Had the family a history of people being sick? Take it in perspective.

And put hand-wash by all sinks.

user1491565842 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:18:54

I'd have no hands left if I washed every time I went to the toilet, honestly

VimFuego101 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:20:54


CrumpettyTree Sun 09-Apr-17 11:20:55

Yanbu but this made me laugh "thinks I am being OTT and called me Howard Hughes." grin

insancerre Sun 09-Apr-17 11:22:36

That's gross
I work with young children and have done for 25 years
Not only do I wash my hands after I go to the toilet, when I'm at work I wash them every time I change a nappy, take a child to the toilet, wipe a nose and hold hands as well as every time I go on to kitchen and before preparing bottles and feeding babies
My hands have not yet fallen off

Hogs Sun 09-Apr-17 11:23:11

Hmm. Just because people don't wash their hands after going to the loo, it doesn't mean that they also never wash hands before preparing food.

Kalinka16 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:27:36

That's just gross...

disgusted123 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:36:55

We've been together 3 years. I have very high standards of cleanliness that I have tried to be more relaxed about with him. I understand that not everyone has the same levels. But washing your hands after touching your penis and peeing, I just can't get past that. This man has made me food for the last 3 years confused

DonaldStott Sun 09-Apr-17 11:40:35

The Howard Hughes comment did make me lol also.

Yanbu OP. Preparing food after holding his dick is pretty gross.

Hogs Sun 09-Apr-17 11:42:02

And it has yet to make you ill smile

Surely everyone is washing their hands before food prep anyway?

HelgaHufflepuff76 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:44:07

I am an almost obsessive hand washer, and I have observed throughout my life that an awful lot of people don't see the need to wash their hands unless they can actually see dirt on them, and some not even thenangry

It's one of the reasons why I prefer to prepare my own and my children's food. I've got used to the fact that even people in my own family (the men) don't wash their hands enough.

disgusted123 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:49:44

I assumed he would wash his hands before food prep, but then I was foolish enough to think he washed after going to the toilet. I don't expect obsessive behaviour but after toilet, before food prep and before eating are the bare minimum surely? And this 80% comment, is it really true? Do most men not wash?

BlondeBecky1983 Sun 09-Apr-17 11:57:19


Washing your hands after going to the loo is basic hygiene and foregoing it is frankly disgusting, I don't care home many people do it.

CinnamonSwirlGirl85 Sun 09-Apr-17 12:27:02

Urghhhh how gross OP! It's a pet hate of mine. It takes 30 seconds and helps stop the whole family (and others!) getting ill. I hate it when you see people use public toilets and just walk off without washing! So grim!

biddleyboo Sun 09-Apr-17 15:19:53

Ugh! That's vile envy
Would getting some nice hand wash help...perhaps some nice Avengers or Minions or something since he's a man child 😂

dangermouseisace Sun 09-Apr-17 15:35:32

UGH. YANBU. It is basic hygiene that you wash your hands after going to the toilet, wash your hands before preparing food, and then again before eating. I am not a clean freak- my house is filthy but my hands are always clean, and I've taught my kids that is what you should do. And you have to dry them too.

FYI my STBXH would wash his hands after loo, so does my dad, and so did my grandad. And apparently it's 63% of men that don't wash their hands, not 80!

coconutpie Sun 09-Apr-17 15:57:25

That is fucking disgusting. I actually wouldn't allow PIL look after DD any longer if they have zero hygiene standards. And I would be telling your OH that either he starts washing his hands or else I'd be considering LTB. That's just disgusting.

picklemepopcorn Sun 09-Apr-17 16:04:29

Infection control makes perfect sense, and at the first sign of anyone being ill I'm out with spray cleaning all the door handles, taps and flush of the loo.

On a day to day basis, I also wash after handling raw meat, sorting laundry, touching the dogs lead, before 'proper' cooking etc. When I had small DCs I washed my hands sore, with prepping their food and nappies thrown in.

Having said all that, none of you have been ill as a result in the last however many years, so how bad can it be?

picklemepopcorn Sun 09-Apr-17 16:06:46

DS2 did a hand wash activity in science. His hands were cleaner before the activity than after, as the soap was so gross having passed through the hands of his peers. <face palm>. He actually knows by sight the other boys who wash hands, as they are at the sink together as the stream of people who don't passes by...

gamerchick Sun 09-Apr-17 16:10:48

Dies he wash before preparing food? After taking a shit?

Goldfishjane Sun 09-Apr-17 16:14:31

Pickle, who uses bars of soap?!
Op yanbu

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