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AIBU?

To feel l'm going NUTS with the NOISE!!!?? Visitors!

41 replies

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 06:56

Friends are here to stay. We live abroad. This is the end of their 2nd week and there's one still to go.

On reflection, this was too long but I agreed as DH was so keen. It's a Dad and his 13 year old DD. We have DD aged 12 and another aged 10.

The bastard fucking noise they make constantly is driving me to insanity.

They're NEVER quiet. Not for a moment. If one isn't talking, then they're singing, humming, whistling....he snores massively loudly and the room he's in is close to mine.

So even when it's nighttime and everyone's in bed I can HEAR THEM!

Currently, my younger DD and his DD are playing FUCKING KAZOOS which he bought them.

I was in the kitchen and they all came in. I tried to stay for a while but couldn't.

The DD is greedy. We had dinner last night and DH then cut up some fruit. She pulled the plate towards her whilst everyone was chatting or clearing plates and she ate it all!

She knew it was a sharing plate but still ate the lot. Her Dad said something like "Might have been nice for you to share that..." but that was all he said.

If there's a big pot of yogurt then she will literally eat the lot within one day. She just keeps returning to the fridge till' it's all gone.

I can't take any more!

OP posts:

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user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 06:58

I'd also like to add that I'm doing a good job of hiding my irritation. I'm not being a bad host or anything.

OP posts:

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 06:59

AND to add insult to injury, the DD is allowed a lot of sweets which mine aren't really. She buys large bags of things, shows them to my DC and doesn't offer them even one! I can't take it...the general thoughtlessness and bad manners are really surprising to me.

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SorrelSoup · 09/04/2017 07:03

Well you've already acknowledged that it was too long and it won't happen again. Try and think happy thoughts that the dc will have this great childhood memory! I'm the same as you though! I get very uptight with constant noise and faff. Can you go out more? Plan a few days out for them? After 2 weeks I wouldn't feel bad declaring that I wanted a quiet day in the house alone "to catch up on jobs" or whatever, can everyone make themselves scarce for the day.

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 07:07

SOrrel it's hard for me to go anywhere as I can't drive and we live rurally. It feels like whenever I go into a room alone, everyone follows me!

I went into my bedroom earlier for a bit of peace and in 15 minutes, no less than three people opened the door to ask me things.

We've had days out. They do go out but once evryone's back it's awful.

Nobody ever sits quietly...well, my family do but these two don't!

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SorrelSoup · 09/04/2017 07:18

It would be my idea of hell! It's just too long and they don't sound particularly self-aware! If I was a guest for that long I'd probably book a few nights in a bandb to give the hosts a break! It's like being constantly under attack. What does dh say 2 weeks in?

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 07:24

I think that's it exactly. There's an incredible lack of self awareness.

DH is hard to talk to as he's so happy hanging with his buddy!

I'm going slowly mad and I will NEVER do this again.

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Mummyoflittledragon · 09/04/2017 07:39

That sounds horrendous. . Hang in there.

Before we had dd, dh and I stayed with friends for a couple of weeks. We left for a few days and then came back to break the time up. We were considerate, gave them some peace and I walked the dog a lot for them so we were out of their hair. Can you suggest some places and trips out for them to go by themselves or take your two along as well? I see you can't drive, but could they get a taxi or bus? I think you should thing about to spelling it out that you need some alone time.

Megatherium · 09/04/2017 07:39

Can you encourage your DH to take them out for the day and give you some peace?

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 07:39

Insult to injury now! I just went outside to hang up the washing and the Dad was in my fucking bedroom! I'm not being funny but that's not on in my opinion.

He was with DH who was looking for something.

I might be especially uptight but this is my bloody sanctuary and nobody's allowed in here!!

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Shurleyshummishtake · 09/04/2017 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InfiniteSheldon · 09/04/2017 07:41

If it's any consolation you are setting his dd a great example of a different way of living, in years to come this could be something she looks back on and reflects. 💐

makingthisupasigoalong · 09/04/2017 07:43

If you are abroad can you suggest they do some sightseeing? We used to have people visit shanghai and we used to send them to Beijing for a few days

DoItTooJulia · 09/04/2017 07:47

Just tell him and your DH that your bedroom is off limits. No funniness or rudeness, just straight.

'Oh, guest, my bedroom is private. Please don't go in there again'

With fruit, you're going to have to portion it up. Don't do sharing platters if she can't share.

And ask for some peace! Just say, hey, it's been a long day, I'd really like some peace and quiet. No kazoos, shouting or singing please. Thank you!

And if he says anything, you could just be honest. We have really enjoyed your company, but I've found the volume a bit too much is all. Oh, and the supermarket is that way----> I noticed we're out of yoghurt and fruit.

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 07:50

They have been on many day trips. They do go out a lot in the day with and without us.

So I am not being "funny" with the bedroom thing then?

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RoganJosh · 09/04/2017 07:53

I think the bedroom thing was possibly your DH saying 'let's look for it in there' so you can't really be cross with the guest without knowing.

Leeloo2 · 09/04/2017 07:55

Can you tell your dh to take them on a few day trips by himself. Say you have work/jobs/dodgy tummy so can't go too. It's really hard if he's super happy and you're hating every moment then you'll both notice stuff that confirms your opinion of how the visit is going, so ultimately you need to make your dh do the work and do it away from you so you have time to de-stress and regroup.

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 07:56

Rogan I see what you mean. But God...maybe I'm really over sensitive but I just wouldn't follow someone into a shared bedroom like that as an adult.

If his DD came in I wouldn't judge but he's a man and my knickers are drying on the airer!

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Leeloo2 · 09/04/2017 07:57

Sorry, cross posted. If they've been going out without you and you still hate it then there's not much hope. How many days left to go?

user1491572121 · 09/04/2017 08:00

Leeloo I know! :( They don't go out for long...

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budgiegirl · 09/04/2017 08:01

It sounds horrendous, it's difficult having guests for three weeks at the best of times, let alone ones who are so different in their behaviour from you.

So I am not being "funny" with the bedroom thing then?

You're not being funny, but it sounds like this one may be your DHs fault, not your guest, if they were in there together. You need to remind your DH about no guests in your bedroom I think.

Gwencooper81 · 09/04/2017 08:03

I think I'd start to feel a migraine coming on. One which needs a dark room and peace!
Could DH and his buddy plus kids not do a whole day trip today while you 'recover'.
Good luck!

Vegansnake · 09/04/2017 08:23

Talk to yr dh,tell him it's enough and they need to go,say no to the extra week

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AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/04/2017 08:27

I feel for you with the noise, I'm a very quiet person & can't stand constant noise & people who are noise machines.

The sweets. It's mean & bad manners, but she's a guest with her father there, so there's not much you can do or say really.

Can you try some ear plugs? Especially for the snoring at night.

The bedroom thing, I think you're being unreasonable, whilst I wouldn't go into their bedroom on my own without a good reason (to put clean laundry on their bed or something) if I was talking to my friend and she went into her bedroom, I'd go in too. I expect others to do the same here. I'm sure he's seen knickers drying on an airer before. You'll both live through it.

Count down the days, try to extract some good from it & try very hard to let your DH enjoy this time with his friend. God knows it won't be happening ever again!

It's NEVER too early when you have annoying guests 🥃

AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/04/2017 08:29

It's Sunday, it's DEFINITELY Dad & Daughter Day. OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Tell DH it's not negotiable.

MrsMoastyToasty · 09/04/2017 08:30

Are they contributing towards food?

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