I'm due 6 weeks today but should be having an elective c-section in just over 5 weeks. This will be my second child but my partners first, and his parent's first grandchild.
My partner is taking his two weeks leave to help, and should be able to schedule it for the very first day our baby arrives due to the nature of delivery.
After he returns to work my parents have offered to help with the school run and odd jobs about the house. They have also said they'd do the shopping for me and/or drive me to the shops if I feel up to getting out (can't drive until 6 week pp check up, apparently).
My parents live 3 minutes away by car, if that, and already look after my DS before and after school everyday (they offered, don't shoot me down in flames). I normally drop him off for breakfast on my way to work and collect him after work or they drop him off depending on what they're doing after school that day. They also don't mind taking him to his after school activities when I'm working. I lived with them after DS was born and they have a very good relationship with him, and I think MIL is worried about her being pushed out with new baby as a result of this.
My parents know me and know when I need space and when I need help. I'm socially anxious and they understand my boundaries and can just tell when I need to be away from people/don't mind just sitting with the tv on.
My parents won't intrude on my space and have said they won't mind doing a spot of cleaning then going home, no pressure on me. They just want to help.
My father is self employed and mum is partially retired, making it easier for them.
However my MIL has decided she will take a weeks annual leave after OH goes back to work. She intends to come for 8am every day that week to feed DS, dress him and take him to school (DS is almost 7, he can do 2/3 of those alone). She then wants to stay every day and 'help', by which she has said will involve cooking, cleaning and taking the baby to let me rest.
I know she means well and I know she is excited, but I do not want that. I don't want someone with me 24/7. By week 3 I'm hoping that I'll manage fine and maybe only need the little support my parents are offering. I feel really uncomfortable already at the thought of someone I don't really know being around at such a vulnerable time. While she is lovely and we get on well I've never spent time alone with her and don't want that to happen for the first time 3 weeks pp.
She has also got her sons old pram from the loft and washed it all down, as well as having some baby clothes at her house for when she has baby, during this leave time and then after.
Obviously she will see baby and so on but I'd never leave a baby so early and it feels like she expects me to.
I don't want her to take annual leave and do this.
Aibu in feeling that way? Should I just let her do it for the sake of relationships?
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MIL and first/new baby
85 replies
sailorcherries · 08/04/2017 19:09
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