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To think that having loud sex in the middle of the day with the patio door wide open isn't appropriate!

(95 Posts)
TwinMummy30 Sat 08-Apr-17 17:32:39

My neighbours are driving me crazy. She whines like a dying cat! Every single time. Sometimes 2 times a day. Today I was left speechless. Midday, I'm hanging the washing , my 3 kids are playing outside and then I heard her screaming "oh yeah, oh god!" Really??? It's a terraced house, their patio door wide open in fact all their windows were and they didn't even bother to shut them. I don't want to spoil things and speak to them but for god's sake don't be so loud. They are in their mid forties. Don't know what to do. That's it really, just had to get it out.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 08-Apr-17 17:33:38

Just ask them to 'pipe down a bit, please'.


CrohnicallyPregnant Sat 08-Apr-17 17:33:42

I think the correct response is to change your wifi name to 'wecanhearyouhavingsex'

CrohnicallyPregnant Sat 08-Apr-17 17:34:14

Or clap loudly when they finish.

coconuttella Sat 08-Apr-17 17:35:40

How do you know it's sex... she might just be getting a bit excited on putting a 'Q' on a triple letter space in Scrabble!

gamerchick Sat 08-Apr-17 17:36:00

Lucky bugger, twice a day?!

Have a play with them. Loud applause, some 'go on son, get the other side involved. Rip the piss a bit and she might get the hint.

EccentricPickle Sat 08-Apr-17 17:36:48

Shout something back when she shouts.

Gallavich Sat 08-Apr-17 17:37:10

That wifi thing is pretty silly, nobody looks at their wifi signal when they are at home!

I would put a note through the door saying you don't let your kids watch porn and you'd rather not have the live soundtrack playing all day.

coconuttella Sat 08-Apr-17 17:37:22

Perhaps they have a cat.... And it is actually dying. (Cats can sound spookily human sometimes!) They'll mention their cat died in conversation, and you'll feel very guilty.

SpreadYourHappiness Sat 08-Apr-17 17:37:51

Meh. Her house. She can have sex as loud as she likes.

ijustwannadance Sat 08-Apr-17 17:38:12

She probably gets off on knowing she has an audience, so I doubt she'd stop.

PastysPrincess Sat 08-Apr-17 17:39:32

Next time you hear it shout over the fence in a concerned voice "are you alright?" They'll get the hint.

kingscrossnoodle Sat 08-Apr-17 17:42:20

Meh. Her house. She can have sex as loud as she likes.. What a crock of shite. Would you really be happy with your children hearing someone else's pleasure moans. That is disgusting.

Within the confines of our own properties I think 'my house my rules' applies, but when it's oevrspilling into the garden then we should show a level of consideration for others.

8misskitty8 Sat 08-Apr-17 17:42:40

Pop a note through her door to let her know she can be heard and suggest she close her windows. Probably also mention young children in the street can also hear her and it's not appropriate.

Or you could always go the council/noise people route. There was a woman a few years ago that got an asbo for sex noises. Maybe she she moved and is now your neighbour. ! Lol

Oysterbabe Sat 08-Apr-17 17:42:52

Knock on the door when you hear it. Tell them you are concerned about their cat because it sound's like it's dying.

kingscrossnoodle Sat 08-Apr-17 17:43:21

I would be shouting something along the lines of 'shut the fuck up or shut your windows'

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sat 08-Apr-17 17:43:47

Maybe you need to select suitable cds for them to shag to??
Play them when you first hear then turn it up for the grand finale. . .
Suggestions could be : I'm sexy and I know it?!
Madonna - like a Virgin?
Possibilities are endless!!

Screwinthetuna Sat 08-Apr-17 17:45:03

Yuk, I'd write a note and saying something like, 'the whole street can hear you having sex, please keep it down.'

coconuttella Sat 08-Apr-17 17:46:27

Maybe you need to select suitable cds for them to shag to??

Great idea... my choice would be the Postman Pat theme.

HarryPottersMagicWand Sat 08-Apr-17 17:46:54

Is this really happening? Does she also have a teenage boy sunbathing naked?

Avioleta Sat 08-Apr-17 17:49:41

Several possibilities.

1) They are well aware that they're being noisy and get off on people being able to hear them. In this case, confronting them about it will only spur them on.

2) They don't know that you can hear them and would be mortified to know that you can. Saying something would probably shame them into having a bit more discretion.

3) They're not exhibitionists per se but they're selfish and don't care who hears them. In this case, they won't change their behaviour even if you say something.

I couldn't NOT say something though. How rude of them.

TwinMummy30 Sat 08-Apr-17 17:49:53

They are sort of nice people when you are nice to them. We've been living in our current house for nearly 3 years and I don't know them very well, just hi/hello. I do understand it's their house and they can do whatever they want but the whole street can hear them. It's really uncomfortable.
I did try loud coughing, speaking in a raised voice, singing. Nothing works. Sometimes it's in the middle of the night, their bedroom is next to ours and it wakes us up. It can go for more than an hour sometimes.
No they haven't got a cat, that's definitely her 🤔

TwinMummy30 Sat 08-Apr-17 17:51:21

Postman pat theme sounds great! Will try 😜

grumpygiraffe Sat 08-Apr-17 17:54:26

Make sure your kids are completely silent when playing outside before you complain about any noise the neighbours make.

topcat2014 Sat 08-Apr-17 17:56:49

Mid forties - twice a day - on the one hand 'fair play'

on the other stfu.

I remember when I started Uni (and I was a late developer..) not realising initially what the sounds were emanating from another bedroom. Turns out the rest of the floor had nicknamed the girlfriend 'the screamer'.

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