to think my friend should tell her fiance?

[CharliesSister]

My friend has been with her DP for 3 years, they're getting married in the summer.
They met online yet their "first meet" story is much cuter; they'd been chatting for a couple of weeks online when my Friend's (let's call her Sarah) car broke down in front of the pub her Fiance (*Eric) was working.
It was fairly late, so she went into the pub to get a drink and wait for the AA. Unbeknownst to her, Eric was working behind the bar and served her. As they'd never met in person before, they didn't immediately recognise one another. She was there for several hours and they chatted the whole time, getting on like a house on fire. It wasn't long that they realised that they already "knew" one another. Obviously they're together now, blissfully happy. It all seemed like a dream come true and that fate had broken down Sarah's car that night, right next to Eric.

HOWEVER, I've just found out from Sarah that this wasn't actually the lovely coincidence it seems. She actually knew that Eric worked at that pub and, wanting to meet him without any pressure, went in there under the pretence of her car having broken down.

Sarah's absolutely lovely, not manipulative or sneaky at all, but pretty shy; she says that she really liked him but wanted to meet without first date pressure, as she'd had a few really nasty first date experiences (one guy was really quite abusive).

Eric has absolutely no idea.

Now I'm fully aware this is between them, and it's really none of my business - and I'm not going to make it my business! However, I can't actually figure out whether SIBU by keeping this a secret or not. Eric, as far as I'm aware, has never spoken about their first meet and he absolutely adores her.

[Chillyegg]

Id literally bot lose any sleep over this.....ita such a massive non issue......

[Bobbins43]

I don't think it's your place to say anything here.

[Crisscrosscranky]

Unless you are actually Sarah I don't know why you'd care.

Are you 'Sarah'?

[SleepFreeZone]

It's weird that you care.

[CookieLady]

Why is this any of your business? If they are happy leave them to it.

[finnmcool]

Just no. It's got nothing to do with you.

[CharliesSister]

No, I'm liable to die alone with many cats at this rate, not on the brink of getting married unfortunately.
Sarah's getting her knickers in a bit of a twist about it though.

[kierenthecommunity]

I'm cringing here, at this being ideal Daily Mail fodder and 'Sarah' being outed

[gamerchick]

I really wouldn't give this any headspace. Even if you are 'Sarah'. It's such a none thing.

[Fruitcocktail6]

I think it's really cute, I don't see the problem?

[BeaderBird]

Why are you even thinking about this.YABU in being concerned. She could tell him and she could continue to keep it a secret. She certainly shouldn't feel bound to. God, I thought she was having an affair with his Dad or something!

[CharliesSister]

Well I guess its reassuring that its seen as a non-issue.
(This won't out them btw, enough details have been changed for their privacy)

[TheFifthKey]

I presume he's not a complete idiot? Surely he'd suspect something, but maybe he felt the same about a first date and went along with the story because it's a cute tale to tell, while being glad it took the pressure off their first meeting?

[VladmirsPoutine]

It really doesn't matter but then 99% of AIBUs don't either maybe one day she'll tell him and he'll start a thread in Relationships.

[gamerchick]

If it makes her feel better to 'confess' then tell her to get on with it. I doubt that it'll be such a betrayal that he'll dump her. It's a none event.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

This is seriously identifying for anyone that knows them.

[frieda909]

If she's tying herself in knots about it then I think she needs to tell him. It's really not a big deal, though, if you ask me - I think he should know but I don't think he's exactly going to cancel the wedding over it!

I actually did something sort of similar once There was a guy I'd liked for ages. We'd been on/off in our late teens and then lost touch, but I couldn't stop thinking about him so years later I kind of engineered a situation for us to 'happen' to meet again. It didn't work out anyway in the end and we just had one date, so I never had to get to the point that Sarah's at. But right from the start I was worrying about it, thinking that if things ever got serious I'd have to tell him about all my scheming

[CharliesSister]

We were out for drinks last night and it all came up, she did seem pretty upset.

[Mulberry72]

Keep out of it, it's her story to tell not yours!

[OlennasWimple]

What would anyone gain by Sarah telling Eric the truth at this point?

[RitzyMcFee]

If she was my friend and it was bothering her I'd tell her to tell him.

[IloveBanff]

I can't fathom why she's upset. No harm has been done to anyone and they're both happy. If she's that bothered she can tell him.

[BonnyScotland]

you described the lovely Sarah as being Shy ... and knowing she really liked Eric.. after talking to him online for so long.. I'm glad she took the initiative and sought out this relationship... you should leave well alone....

Good Luck to them both x

[krustykittens]

If it is really upsetting her, then she should tell him. It's not a big deal at all and he is not going to mind. So it wasn't a coincidence, she wanted to make sure he was a nice person before she met him - who wouldn't understand that, especially as she is shy and has some previous bad experiences?