AIBU expecting long-term cohabiting boyfriend to pay rent when we argued and he stayed with family for a week?

[ShellyT17]

My boyfriend and I have been co-habiting in rented accommodation for two years. The tenancy is in my name as he moved in with me. He earns two and a half times my salary. I work full time and am in my final year of a part-time degree. My son earns slightly more than I do but spends £200 a month on commuting.

1. We argued and my boyfiend stayed at his sisters for a week and is now saying he shouldn't have to contribute for the week he wasn't here (£100).
   
   
2. He pays approximately 35% of the rent and bills, my son pays approximately 25% and I pay 40%. Is this fair or should it be proportionate? Our flat is rented in my name. My boyfriend owns his own apartment which he rents out. He has a good disposable income and always pays if we go out, which is probably two or three times a month.
   
   AIBU thinking he should pay for the week he wasn't here?
   
   And what are people's thoughts on the financial arrangements when cohabiting?
   
   Thanks all!

[Questioningeverything]

He's nuts. You don't get to not pay rent because you go away, it's like asking your landlord to not charge you because you're on holiday. They'd laugh at you.
If this is how he views you and treats you, I'd tell him to move out permanently. He's already paying less but earning more than you

[Wishforsnow]

With your boyfriends ridiculous reasoning if you go on holiday for two weeks none of you would need to pay the landlord rent during that time.

[Justanothernameonthepage]

Yes he should pay morally as he chose not to be there. If you both went in holiday then the rent would still be owed. If his stuff was still there, then reclassify it as storage fees instead of rent if he is still being a dick about it.

[Trifleorbust]

He should absolutely pay. It isn't a hotel, it's your joint home.

[Mrskeats]

He is being ridiculous and mean
I would be thinking carefully about your future

[Solongtoshort]

I think he should stay at his sisters and you are better off with out someone who argues over £100 when they are in a better financial position than you and you pay more of the rent as it is.

He still has to pay the mortgage if his tennents move out, same applies here.

[BackforGood]

Agree with everyone else.

Does he give his tenants a refund if they go on holiday or away with their work ?

[TheHodgeoftheHedge]

Agreed with everyone else - he doesn't stop paying just cause he wasn't there momentarily.
By the by, does your landlord know you are subletting?!

[HeyCat]

Of course he should still pay.

Take this as an opportunity to evaluate your relationship, the finances don't sound right at all

[Mermaidinthesea123]

He sounds like a sponging knob end. Unless he started being very generous with his money really soon I'd chuck him out.

[expatinscotland]

What a tight arse. I think I'd tell him to stay at his sister's.

[Nanny0gg]

He's having a laugh.

And not just over his week away.

(Does he always act like a child when you argue?)

[harderandharder2breathe]

Of course he should pay. Just like you still pay rent if you're on holiday.

Not sure what's fair about splitting the rent. For three adults sharing I'd start with 1/3 each so he's paying his share and you're subsidising your son. But you're in a relationship with him, serious enough to be living together, so maybe basing it on earnings is fair too

[ShellyT17]

I thought he was generous because he would treat us to the odd takeaway and weekend away but now I'm thinking it's because he had so much disposable income.

[happypoobum]

He sounds awful - tell him not to come back.

[Questioningeverything]

Just think about it like this... he's looking to profit from you. The man you love and is supposed to love you is seeing you as a money maker for him. That is disgusting.

[TheMysteriousJackelope]

Your flat is his home as he's rented out his place. He has to pay his share of the rent whether he is there or not. The only exception would be if you threw him out permanently. He can always go and rent his own place and pay 100% of that rent if he doesn't like the arrangement.

Would it be better to have him on the tenancy?

[ShellyT17]

Yes, Nanny0gg. Sadly, he is very childlike when we argue. Any sign of conflict and he thinks I'm nagging. He struggles with communication and thinks it is me being unfair.

He says it shouldn't matter how much he earns and I am not sure how I feel about this.

[expatinscotland]

Did he pay his sister for the week he was there? Thought not.

[Love51]

If he wants to come back he should pay. In or out, no shake it all about option.

[ChasedByBees]

How come he doesn't pay a fair or even equal amount of the rent? How did it get decided that you would pay more?

[caffelatte100]

He sounds mean with money and mean spirited as well.

[Sirzy]

He should pay the £100 of course!

Re the rent in general I think as there are 3 adults then him paying (just over) 1/3 is fair