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AIBU expecting long-term cohabiting boyfriend to pay rent when we argued and he stayed with family for a week?

(66 Posts)
ShellyT17 Sat 08-Apr-17 14:21:20

My boyfriend and I have been co-habiting in rented accommodation for two years. The tenancy is in my name as he moved in with me. He earns two and a half times my salary. I work full time and am in my final year of a part-time degree. My son earns slightly more than I do but spends £200 a month on commuting.

1) We argued and my boyfiend stayed at his sisters for a week and is now saying he shouldn't have to contribute for the week he wasn't here (£100).

2) He pays approximately 35% of the rent and bills, my son pays approximately 25% and I pay 40%. Is this fair or should it be proportionate? Our flat is rented in my name. My boyfriend owns his own apartment which he rents out. He has a good disposable income and always pays if we go out, which is probably two or three times a month.

AIBU thinking he should pay for the week he wasn't here?

And what are people's thoughts on the financial arrangements when cohabiting?

Thanks all!

Questioningeverything Sat 08-Apr-17 14:24:27

He's nuts. You don't get to not pay rent because you go away, it's like asking your landlord to not charge you because you're on holiday. They'd laugh at you.
If this is how he views you and treats you, I'd tell him to move out permanently. He's already paying less but earning more than you

Wishforsnow Sat 08-Apr-17 14:24:54

With your boyfriends ridiculous reasoning if you go on holiday for two weeks none of you would need to pay the landlord rent during that time.

Justanothernameonthepage Sat 08-Apr-17 14:25:15

Yes he should pay morally as he chose not to be there. If you both went in holiday then the rent would still be owed. If his stuff was still there, then reclassify it as storage fees instead of rent if he is still being a dick about it.

Trifleorbust Sat 08-Apr-17 14:25:24

He should absolutely pay. It isn't a hotel, it's your joint home.

Mrskeats Sat 08-Apr-17 14:25:32

He is being ridiculous and mean
I would be thinking carefully about your future

Solongtoshort Sat 08-Apr-17 14:27:45

I think he should stay at his sisters and you are better off with out someone who argues over £100 when they are in a better financial position than you and you pay more of the rent as it is.

He still has to pay the mortgage if his tennents move out, same applies here.

BackforGood Sat 08-Apr-17 14:28:15

Agree with everyone else.

Does he give his tenants a refund if they go on holiday or away with their work ?

TheHodgeoftheHedge Sat 08-Apr-17 14:30:10

Agreed with everyone else - he doesn't stop paying just cause he wasn't there momentarily.
By the by, does your landlord know you are subletting?!

HeyCat Sat 08-Apr-17 14:30:49

Of course he should still pay.

Take this as an opportunity to evaluate your relationship, the finances don't sound right at all

Mermaidinthesea123 Sat 08-Apr-17 14:34:15

He sounds like a sponging knob end. Unless he started being very generous with his money really soon I'd chuck him out.

expatinscotland Sat 08-Apr-17 14:34:40

What a tight arse. I think I'd tell him to stay at his sister's.

Nanny0gg Sat 08-Apr-17 14:38:10

He's having a laugh.

And not just over his week away.

(Does he always act like a child when you argue?)

harderandharder2breathe Sat 08-Apr-17 14:38:19

Of course he should pay. Just like you still pay rent if you're on holiday.

Not sure what's fair about splitting the rent. For three adults sharing I'd start with 1/3 each so he's paying his share and you're subsidising your son. But you're in a relationship with him, serious enough to be living together, so maybe basing it on earnings is fair too

ShellyT17 Sat 08-Apr-17 14:39:15

I thought he was generous because he would treat us to the odd takeaway and weekend away but now I'm thinking it's because he had so much disposable income.

happypoobum Sat 08-Apr-17 14:39:32

He sounds awful - tell him not to come back.

Questioningeverything Sat 08-Apr-17 14:39:42

Just think about it like this... he's looking to profit from you. The man you love and is supposed to love you is seeing you as a money maker for him. That is disgusting.

TheMysteriousJackelope Sat 08-Apr-17 14:41:32

Your flat is his home as he's rented out his place. He has to pay his share of the rent whether he is there or not. The only exception would be if you threw him out permanently. He can always go and rent his own place and pay 100% of that rent if he doesn't like the arrangement.

Would it be better to have him on the tenancy?

ShellyT17 Sat 08-Apr-17 14:41:52

Yes, Nanny0gg. Sadly, he is very childlike when we argue. Any sign of conflict and he thinks I'm nagging. He struggles with communication and thinks it is me being unfair.

He says it shouldn't matter how much he earns and I am not sure how I feel about this.

expatinscotland Sat 08-Apr-17 14:43:20

Did he pay his sister for the week he was there? Thought not.

HecateAntaia Sat 08-Apr-17 14:44:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateAntaia Sat 08-Apr-17 14:45:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Love51 Sat 08-Apr-17 14:47:17

If he wants to come back he should pay. In or out, no shake it all about option.

ChasedByBees Sat 08-Apr-17 14:48:24

How come he doesn't pay a fair or even equal amount of the rent? How did it get decided that you would pay more?

caffelatte100 Sat 08-Apr-17 14:50:12

He sounds mean with money and mean spirited as well.

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