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AIBU?

Is whispering behind one's back a thing these days?

17 replies

Naturebabe · 07/04/2017 20:30

In work I've two female colleagues who often whisper in earshot, all I can overhear is 'she this, she that', and I get paranoid they're talking about me. I also had it as I went over a neighbour's house and was getting changed after using her pool. I could hear her whispering to her friend as I was getting changed. The other day a group of us mums went to the beach, and as I was leaving with my 2 ds, I overheard her daughter say 'good, she's gone'.I was shocked. Is it me, or is this common these days. Puts me right off making an effort with these people!!

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Asmoto · 07/04/2017 20:33

Sadly, I don't think it's a new thing, OP. Rude people have been around for years .

Naturebabe · 07/04/2017 20:35

Just seems to be happening a lot to me lately!

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BillSykesDog · 07/04/2017 20:35

I hate to say it, but that doesn't sound right to me and it does sound like paranoia. Are you feeling well otherwise? Under any stress? Might be worth discussing with your GP. I have suffered from similar in the past and it doesn't sound quite right, nor from lots of different people.

SparklyPantaloons · 07/04/2017 20:35

Nope, always happened. It is a shame though, it creates such an uncomfortable atmosphere. Even if it can't possibly be you they're talking about, you can't always help but get anxious over whether it might be.

Naturebabe · 07/04/2017 20:38

Bill, I do wonder about paranoia (perhaps smoked a little too much in my youth haha) but I'm very well otherwise. It is really happening.

As sparkly says, it creates a bad atmosphere even if it's not about me!

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Naturebabe · 09/04/2017 12:07

anyone?

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loosingsanity · 09/04/2017 12:18

Yep sadly it's a 'thing'. Usually it's seen as a hobby to most, as they don't have much else going on in there lives. Sometimes they have nothing else to talk about, unless they are gossiping about others, and even friendships are made through doing this. Just rise above it, and I'd suggest maybe changing your friendship group as they don't seem very friendly to me. If you hear colleagues etc talking about someone just assume it's not you, and get on with your day. If they are taking about you, and know that you are aware, they may feed off your low self esteem when around them and act upon it. Be the biggest person

FritzDonovan · 09/04/2017 12:30

Yes, definitely a thing with some ppl. Once had it from two 'friends' who were sitting on one side of me at the pub table, while I was half listening to a conversation on the other side. Bloody rude. And one of those 'friends' turned out to be a gossip mongering, back stabbing drama queen. Needless to say, we're no longer friends

Naturebabe · 09/04/2017 15:30

loosing - you're right, it's just about being the bigger person isn't it? x

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titianlove · 09/04/2017 16:06

Your neighbour has a pool?!

They're rude as fuck, OP.

Ignore them.

LewisFan · 09/04/2017 16:45

It's not new. My mother and sister do it about me regularly... always have

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 09/04/2017 16:50

Once you've noticed it once, it's harder not to notice it in future, same for a lot of things.

kittytom · 09/04/2017 16:51

I have colleagues who were like that when I first started. It was so blatant. Confirmed as not paranoia when one of them lent me her cooking notebook with a note about myself in it! I ignored and made a mental note never to actually be their friend. We get on on a chatting basis, I am 'super nice'. But I do ensure I have much nicer actual friends.

Birdsgottaf1y · 09/04/2017 17:05

The neighbors DD may have been talking about your DD. My GD is two and there are days when i'm glad she's going home.

As said, all that some people have to talk about is others and they run out of things to say so start to exaggerate.

Do your colleagues know each other outside of work? Their conversations may not be suitable to share, if they're about nights out etc.

dangerrabbit · 09/04/2017 17:11

I have colleagues who do this in an open plan office, I just put my noise cancelling headphones in and get on with my work. So rude.

thequeenofsandwich · 09/04/2017 17:20

Used to go out with some bitches mums at my daughters school. I was always the designated driver, couldn't make it one night . I heard them whispering "she only gets one chance with us " .... fair enough. Once they didn't have me to bitch about they turned on each other and it all imploded. Karma

Naturebabe · 09/04/2017 19:52

I just couldn't imagine doing it myself. Its so obvious and so rude. Do they think their whispering is invisible and not audible. Grrrrrr. I don't think I've ever done it.

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