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To get really worked up over sexist email?

(29 Posts)
fedupslummymummy Fri 07-Apr-17 18:27:49

I work in a very male-dominated environment and am the only female on the team. I'm not a newbie, I've been an established member of the sales staff for years and I get on well with all our customers and suppliers....or so I thought. Anyway this afternoon, I sent a query to a customer, and instead of responding back to me he sent the reply to my boss and copied in two other sales colleagues (obviously all male). His reply was "I've received an email from slummy but I need to establish blah blah blah..." I wasn't copied in on it. My boss forwarded it on to me with no comment but a sad face so he obviously thought it out of order too. He said he would "leave it with me" to deal with as it's my customer!!! I really want to respond but I don't know how to do so politely! Would you be so cross if this was you? I know I'm going to stew on this all weekend so constructive suggestions would be great.

NonsensicalNonsense Fri 07-Apr-17 18:28:57

It depends what his email actually said? Too vague OP

fedupslummymummy Fri 07-Apr-17 18:31:43

It was a query about one of the products I sell and I am more than qualified to answer the question! There was no need to respond to my boss and copy in two of my other colleagues he simply needed to reply to me. I guess that's why I'm so angry.

Ihatethedailymail1 Fri 07-Apr-17 18:33:15

What is sexist about it? He might just think you are incompetent 😉

Count2three Fri 07-Apr-17 18:34:18

How is it sexist?

SummerHouse Fri 07-Apr-17 18:36:39

I would not assume this is about you being a woman. But either it is and its blatant sexism or it isn't and he has just undermined your ability as a person / employee. Either way its a shit approach he has chosen. Are the other two men your seniors?

Platimum Fri 07-Apr-17 18:37:05

he thinks you have no authority whatsoever. Not even to take his order?

I'd be so tempted to send a passive aggressive email such as ''I thought you had decided''.

I'd ring him. Don't tell him your boss emailed you. Tell him that you're boss was uncertain as to the content of an email client sent boss and boss wonders if client knows his own mind................ that sort of response. More carefully worded of course.

EyeStye Fri 07-Apr-17 18:37:47

Keep it factual
Thank you for your email. Mr Boss has returned it to me as I am able to answer it.
The answer is ....
Kind regards

Resist urge to write you MASSIVE TWAT at the end

EyeStye Fri 07-Apr-17 18:38:28

*forwarded it, not returned it

Platimum Fri 07-Apr-17 18:38:55

Good strategy from EyeStye there.

fedupslummymummy Fri 07-Apr-17 18:39:35

No the other two men are my equals so I am rather put out. Said client isn't their customer either.....
Thanks platimum that's a good approach.

fedupslummymummy Fri 07-Apr-17 18:40:17

Love it Eyestye !!!!

Gizlotsmum Fri 07-Apr-17 18:41:00

Reply to his email. As said above keep it factual but I would think he has lost any discounts you may have been able to offer him.

Rawhh Fri 07-Apr-17 18:44:22

I work in a sales environment to a male dominated industry and have lost count of the number of times clients have assumed I am a Junior or one of my colleagues is my boss or that I must be incompetent.

I've found the best way is to just be polite, yet assertive, and get the sale done. That way they can't complain.

I even had one bloke say he would need a man working on this sale because a women wouldn't understand the technical nature of it

OfficerVanHalen Fri 07-Apr-17 18:44:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harderandharder2breathe Fri 07-Apr-17 18:47:54

Agree that you should be the one to reply to customer, keeping professional

I work in a call centre (not sales) and do sometimes get clients calling back to "double check" what a colleague has already told them, regardless of gender. 90% of the time correct info was given and I assume they just have nothing better to do with their life than have every conversation twice over

fedupslummymummy Fri 07-Apr-17 18:48:42

Rawhh I feel your pain. Comments over the years have been "ooh you're quite clever for a girl aren't you?". "Can you make me a cup of tea?" (When in a sales meeting), and "are you single?"

harderandharder2breathe Fri 07-Apr-17 18:48:48

Yanbu though, it must be really irritating to feel the customer doesn't trust you, but you can't show it in your response to them

2017SoFarSoGood Fri 07-Apr-17 18:48:48

Don't mention the boss. Just answer the question very politely and firmly - as if he sent it directly to you, and only to you. NO reference to his rudeness.

That has worked for me in the past.

SummerHouse Fri 07-Apr-17 18:51:27

I would write a very professional email back rising above it and giving no credence whatsoever to his attempt to undermine you whilst simultaneously writing cunt on the roof of my mouth with my tounge

ZilphasHatpin Fri 07-Apr-17 18:51:33

I agree you need to reply and simply answer his query. Don't make any reference to your boss or other colleagues. Just respond and it will make it very clear to him that your team is a team and that if he goes running to the boss the boss will a) tell you and b) support you by not responding to the dick.

SusieOwl4 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:06:20

Agree with the posts above. Keep it professional and just feel sorry for the customer for living in the dark ages . When I started my job I had suppliers who would not speak to me as I was a woman and it is a technical environment. But they do now it just took time and it was their problem not mine .

Rawhh Fri 07-Apr-17 19:06:33

fedup Its awful. I find it easier to be assertive over the phone as it comes across better and then follow up by email.

It doesn't help that I'm relatively young.

I've had the 'girl' comment too.

As Van Halen said if people haven't experienced blantent sexism or worked in an environment where it is rife they will try and excuse it as something else.

ZilphasHatpin Fri 07-Apr-17 19:13:10

OP did you see that thing a few weeks ago that was doing the rounds on FB? A man and woman whose work for the same small company switched email sign offs for (I think) 2 weeks after initially the man used the woman's sign off accidentally and discovered he was being treated like shite by customers.

fedupslummymummy Fri 07-Apr-17 19:18:13

Zilphas yes I did. I mentioned the story to my boss and joked with him about changing my email address to the male diminutive of my name to be taken seriously by said customer........hmm

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