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Christmas presents

(22 Posts)
user1491585278 Fri 07-Apr-17 18:25:15

Hi everyone.
Since my brother got married my mum and dad buy me and my sister in law exactly the same Christmas present.
I am normally quite placid but this keeps nagging at me as it really upsets me that they don't think of something more individual.

Last year for example we both got a (admittedly nice) item of clothing but it was a colour that I would never wear but sil does.

I have no idea how to deal with this or if I can. I feel that I will just have to get over it. AIBU?

Crunchymum Fri 07-Apr-17 18:27:09

It's April. Get over it.


lalalandxx Fri 07-Apr-17 18:27:30

It's April...

redshoeblueshoe Fri 07-Apr-17 18:28:50

April 1st was last week

thebakerwithboobs Fri 07-Apr-17 18:28:50

Thank you so much for posting this OP. Whenever I feel as though I have a terrible problem in life I shall think of your trauma and count myself lucky....

Birdsgottaf1y Fri 07-Apr-17 18:30:02

Why is this on your mind now, has something else happened?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Fri 07-Apr-17 18:30:21

At the beginning of Dec point out that vouchers are the way to go this year!!

DonaldStott Fri 07-Apr-17 18:38:49

Wtf confused

Imstickingwiththisone Fri 07-Apr-17 18:41:41

Do you have a dodgy WiFi connection OP?

herethereandeverywhere Fri 07-Apr-17 18:41:45

I'm so over having my parents/DH's parents buy me presents (admittedly they are pensioners and I earn a good wage which is a factor).

With DH's family we do secret santa (never secret though!) and each year we'll draw one of the other adults to buy for (out of 8) so we buy 1 present and not 6. I managed to lose out this year when the MIL did her usual 'buy a little something for everyone' and drew me, who got no actual secret santa present. To be honest it's one less unit of tat to live with and she was suitably embarrassed. Win-win.

If there's something you really want buy it yourself? Suggest secret santa to cut down on excess generally? Suggest no presents and donate to charity instead?

Mulberry72 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:00:03


73kittycat73 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:05:32

Try posting in the Christmas section:
You might find more helpful advice there.

KindleBueno Fri 07-Apr-17 19:09:11

My DF buys me and DW the exact same presents for every occasion that maybe differ in colour, print etc. He says he loves us both and doesn't want to make a difference in us. I think it's super thoughtful

ExpatMrs Fri 07-Apr-17 19:12:11

I'm not sure why this is suddenly bothering you so much in April (have you just come across said clothing item in your wardrobe and it sparked annoyance?)
Regardless, obviously it's something that might happen again but don't let it upset you, just take to the store and swap for something you do like? Some people are just crap at shopping for others, doesn't mean they dislike you or anything

loveka Fri 07-Apr-17 19:16:21

I understand your point entirely. I think you mean you should mean more to them than your sister in law? I agree with you, and its hurtful.

It's not about the present, it's what the present represents. (Strange that people don't understand this and give you a fucking biscuit...)

That's obviously why it's bugging you now.

Presents mean a lot to me because of that reason. I always pointedly got worse presents as a child/young adult. You start to feel you are not valued.

It could be that they are just being thoughtless, and it doesn't actually mean anything. But I totally get how you feel.

user1491585278 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:25:21

Loveka that is exactly it. I know they are not doing it deliberately but it bugs me.
I wish they would ask and I would give them some ideas.

Aderyn2016 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:30:38

What lovka said!

Most of you seem to be deliberately obtuse.
It is hurtful not to mean more to your parents than your sil.

TheNaze73 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:47:18

You need to let this go

ExpatMrs Fri 07-Apr-17 19:55:08

Apologies if I seemed harsh OP.
My DM buys utter tripe gifts- stuff that my SIL would love but I just find tacky. I take comfort from the fact that DM likes it and wear the necklaces/tops (whatever) when I'm in her company from time to time.
Ok, I realise she then prob thinks that I do like them but I'd never hurt her feelings over a gift.

thebakerwithboobs Fri 07-Apr-17 20:06:37

No. Love is not a competition and Christmas gifts are not a measure of love either. Your parents have you birth and life, no doubt they advise you still, guide you, have your back when needed (otherwise you wouldn't care about a gift!) Perhaps the stress or expense of Christmas gifts causes them upset or they simply don't know what to get your sister in law, so they buy a thoughtful gift for you and then give her the same. You're assuming so much and it's so very sad that you want to equate the love your parents feel for people with one gift, given on one day of the year.

bellalou1234 Fri 07-Apr-17 22:07:22

I would be upset too

ThePiglet59 Fri 07-Apr-17 22:12:45

Fuck off it's April
Take your Xmas crap to November and leave us alone

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