Granny gifts

[Morgan2017]

Hello everyone. Now that I've sat down to write this i feel more and more like a greedy diva. So, im almost 5months pregnant and thinking of making a good dent to the shopping list. This pregnancy was totally unplanned and honestly a shock to us and our family as we have been 'rocky' this last year. Anyway we have been together 7yrs so we can work this out. My family were surprised but very supportive and have all piped up with what they would like to gift, my mum has offered to buy our travel system, My sister the cot and aunt moses basket for which im so very grateful though its kinda tradition in the family that we help out with 'bigger items' iknow on top of these, people will pick up little things here and there as we are all close. MIL and the whole family have yet to even break breath to me about the pregnancy. My partner says all are happy yet none have even sent as much as a text. (We havent been meeting since the rocky patch started) so i can rule out that they will help with a bigger item! Its not so much the item whatever it is, i think im annoyed that they haven't even acknowledged me or the baby. It does bother me deep down that my family are spending X amount to help us BOTH yet his own mother who by the way is not short of a spare 3holidays a year cant produce a pack of vests. Iknow its up to me to provide all items as its my responsibility after all but i dont for one min believe she hasnt splashed on her other grandkids. Im at the stage now where i want to get organised and budget accordingly so should i go ahead and agree that the partners family wont be assisting?? Is it even worth mentioning to partner or is it something thats completely unreasonable to expect? I never ever dreamed of asking for expensive things, i more so had in my mind that they would just offer
Id be over the moon at a few towels or grow bags. I guess the old granny gifts are a thing of the past X

[WorraLiberty]

Of course it's bloody unreasonable to expect other people to fork out for your baby!

I'm sure his family will probably buy a few small gifts when the baby comes along.

What on earth does your pregnancy have to do with other people's holidays?

[limon]

Shitty that they haven't acknowledged your pregnancy, but you're being a diva expecting gifts. Families don't all work like yours. Just be grateful you have such a supportive family. It isn't a competition.

[RedGrapeCornSnake]

I think you're being a bit premature to assume she won't be buying anything just because she hasn't told you yet what it might be - baby is still months away
Surely most people turn up with something once the baby is here. They'll either ask if there is anything you need or pick something cute.
You do sound a bit grabby sorry

[Dogivemeabreak]

It's something that unreasonable to expect. Your family obviously has one tradition, their's have another.

[TheMythOfFingerprints]

Yes, yabu to expect other people to supply you with things you and your dp should be buying.

[anyoldname76]

maybe she'll buy a gift when the baby is born. my parents didnt buy anything until my babies were born and tbh i didnt think anything of it.

[MyOtherNameIsTaken]

Some people just don't like to buy things for the baby before it's born.

[Fairybella]

Don't expect anything from them you are already getting an awesome deal

[Dishwashersaurous]

Most people do not buy presents until after a baby is born. I fully expect that the grandparents will buy a gift when baby is born

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

Of course it's bloody unreasonable to expect other people to fork out for your baby!

This.

In what world do you 'expect' that people buy things that you should be getting?

[WorraLiberty]

So you're already getting

A free travel system

A free cot

A free moses basket

And you say they'll probably pick up other bits here and there?

Once you and the baby's dad have put your hands in your pockets, what's left for them to buy?

It makes sense to wait til the baby is here imo.

[SavoyCabbage]

My mother has piles of money but I didn't and don't expect her to buy anything for my children. Nor did she.

[MatildaTheCat]

You haven't seen or spoken since the 'rocky patch?' This is your problem. Clearly they were in some way involved and its clouded their views of you or the relationship. Maybe they genuinely feel shocked and dismayed by the situation.

Your dp and you need to see them, reassure them that things are good and how happy you both are ( is he?) about the baby. I can't imagine why you are bothered about texts and gifts when there is clearly much more going on.

Talk to dp and try to rebuild the relationship and then hopefully they will want to be involved even if it's not a financial contributionwhich is obviously your own responsibility.

Good luck.

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

I have never been grabby at all. . But when I had ds my mil salvaged my precious prem ds a mangy rocking horse off freecycle!! Never have I been so ungrateful!!
Poor thing went to the tip!!

[user1483387154]

YABU expecting gifts.
They MAY be waiting till after the baby is born, but also they may choose not to get you anything.

[PotteringAlong]

I feel more and more like a greedy diva.

Yup

[CMOTDibbler]

Some people don't buy things, or want to talk about it until a baby is safely delivered. But the bigger thing here is that you as a couple are in a rocky patch, and his family may be thinking that its entirely possible that you will break up and they won't see much of the baby, or will be buying a second set of everything for babys dad to use/have at his place.

[Morgan2017]

Thanks u perfect lot. To know it all like u guys eh. And for the record not once did i say i expect anyone to fork out for my child. Thats what most of u have assumed. The question is about grannys giving A GIFT LIKE SHE HAS DONE FOR HER OTHER 7 GRANDCHILDREN. All her daughters got £500 giftcards at the begining of pregnancy. Im half way through without a nappy. And my family aint well of atall infact my mum is so adamant on the pram she is having to pay it up weekly. It seems the only gifts between inlaws and us is when she writes her lists each birthday/christmas/mothersday. But then... i best not be greedy

[Mulberry72]

YABU. Why do you expect others to pay for your baby?

You and your DP should be saving for/buying these items!

[Chloe84]

so should i go ahead and agree that the partners family wont be assisting?? Is it even worth mentioning to partner or is it something thats completely unreasonable to expect? I never ever dreamed of asking for expensive things, i more so had in my mind that they would just offer

Are you for real, OP? Of course YABU. And entitled.

What did you buy your family members when they were expecting babies?

But they should acknowledge your pregnancy, that is poor form.

[websocket]

hope this helps

[KindleBueno]

Catch yourself on.

You're only 5 months gone for a start so you're being a bit premature.

[Morgan2017]

Chloe84
We as a couple have always provided a gift for each of his 8 nieces/nephews. To keep it fair we always had a standard 100 pound budget for the new baby.

[brasty]

As an Auntie I would never have bought anything only 5 months into a pregnancy. Sorry but I would always wait to check everything is okay first. If they still haven't bought you anything by the time the baby is born, then you have grounds to complain.

[allowlsthinkalot]

My Grannie bought the pram for our first baby but the rest of the family just bought some clothes when he was born like everyone else. And that's all they did for the next three. It didn't enter my head that they might do more than that.

YANBU to want to be treated the same as others in the family.