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Best response to 'well as you are on the larger side....' comments

(69 Posts)
TotallyFFC Fri 07-Apr-17 16:33:40

Literally it comes into every bloomin conversation with my family, they refer to my size when discussing cars, weddings, holiday destinations... it has been used as the reason I should get a people carrier, not go on beach holidays, avoid activities, why I should turn down being a bridesmaid. And I am bulky without doubt but I'm 5.10 and a size 16. I could easily do with losing some weight which I am doing steadily, but this isn't the point, my family define me by it and seem to think they need to remind me every five minutes!!! I've an intelligent individual, I know my own size and I'm happy with me!!! So come mns Aibu to ask for some brilliantly constructed replies?

"Well - I could lose weight, if I wanted - could you stop being a judgemental twat?"

harderandharder2breathe Fri 07-Apr-17 16:36:14

"Well you're on the ugly side but I'm too polite to comment"

gleam Fri 07-Apr-17 16:36:49

As you are on the hard of thinking side...

QuiteLikely5 Fri 07-Apr-17 16:37:32

Did you mean to sound so rude?

Can you repeat that?

You're looking a bit plump yourself lately..........maybe we can diet together

user1491565842 Fri 07-Apr-17 16:38:01

Yeah I know but I can lose weight; you're stuck with your face!

CalonGoch Fri 07-Apr-17 16:38:10

You're 5.10! What would they like you to do? Plane yourself off at the knees?

TotallyFFC Fri 07-Apr-17 16:39:31

There is an irony here that I wrote 'I've an intelligent individual', rather than 'I'm' grin

TotallyFFC Fri 07-Apr-17 16:40:55

I have used the 'did you just mean to be so rude' before and was met with, 'I'm not being rude, we are family, I'm being honest'!!

freeDeirdreRachid Fri 07-Apr-17 16:41:37

Did you mean to sound so rude?

Please never say this. How people are still suggesting that on here is beyond me confused

Flowerydems Fri 07-Apr-17 16:42:40

Say 'is that some moustache hair coming through?' Or something about their appearance. But I'm petty,

I get comments from my mum all the time, I just ignore it now.

haveacupoftea Fri 07-Apr-17 16:43:59

Just say 'that's quite hurtful, i don't comment on your size so please don't comment on mine.'

Imnotaslimjim Fri 07-Apr-17 16:44:40

Bring family doesn't stop you being rude! It's rudeness not honesty.

I'd straight out ask them to stop commenting on it. Size 16 at your height is not that big.

Try reversing it if any of them are really on the slim side, bring their tiny size into the conversation whenever you can, see how they react!

ThoraGruntwhistle Fri 07-Apr-17 16:46:54

'From now on, every single time you mention my weight, I am going to scream at top volume right in your face. Maybe after a couple of times you'll realise how fucking rude you're being. Not 'honest', just rude. Stop it, now.'

shovetheholly Fri 07-Apr-17 16:47:15

I would whip out this article, which I would have printed out in advance, and say something like "Ah, you're so old-fashioned. Did you realise it's seen as TERRIBLE parenting to comment on your child's weight these days? Yeah, it's practically seen as abuse, because there are statistics to show that people who have parents continually going on about their weight are more likely to suffer from eating disorders."

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/jul/02/fat-shaming-is-cruel-parents

AnUtterIdiot Fri 07-Apr-17 16:56:04

I would sit them down, explain that you are sick of them saying it, and tell them that from now on every time one of them mentions your size or weight you are going to get up and leave. Regardless of what you're doing or where you are. And you're giving them fair warning because you really are sick of it and that really is what you're going to do. And I would then get up and walk out whenever they did it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 07-Apr-17 16:58:42

And you're on the ugly side.
Yes not nice, but. If they can give it They can take it

FerdinandsRevenge Fri 07-Apr-17 17:04:21

It's not "being honest" you didn't ask for the info. It's being rude. You don't comment on their appearance all the time. . You're completely aware of your size which is probably at most at your height a size too big anyway?

Midnightprobs Fri 07-Apr-17 17:05:08

Are they referring to your height?
Because a size 16 at 5 foot 10 is probably within or at least close to target BMI.

Mummyoflittledragon Fri 07-Apr-17 17:06:13

Shove

Read the article. I think it works every which way. People can get equally offended if told they're ridiculously skinny. I've been overweight and mega skinny and had issues of control with my family so I managed my feelings with food.

Op

Size 16 and that height makes you within your bmi. Perhaps some of these comments stem from jealousy. I'd call them out on it by saying you think you're beautiful and do they have an issue with their size.

GplanAddict Fri 07-Apr-17 17:06:22

I can change my size, it'll be harder for you to change your personality grin

Serialweightwatcher Fri 07-Apr-17 17:07:55

I've always liked "you're ugly, but I can go on a diet" .... or "do you realise what a rude twat you are" grin

WorraLiberty Fri 07-Apr-17 17:08:11

Just tell them if you want a bitch in the family, you'll buy a dog.

BeyondThePage Fri 07-Apr-17 17:11:29

"oh, do piss off" works quite well on my family.

Or "EIGHT minutes" on my mum. That was how long it took her after 2 years apart to comment on my weight. So now when she starts to go off on one I just say "EIGHT minutes!!!"

user1486199588 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:13:45

Many years ago one 'helpful' relative took me aside to tell me I was too fat to find a man. I think they thought they were being helpful. This particular part of the family think it is acceptable to regularly pass comment on weight / your career / etc etc. They are just intolerably rude. I think it is a power thing.

Cue many years later, their daughter is now an unmarried mother and they are horrified and think everyone in the family is disapproving (no one cares at all!). The point is they think everyone in the family is thinking in the judgmental way they think.

I have decided the next time one of them brings up my weight I am going to make a direct reference to something about them that is not 'perfect' eg, 'thanks for the feedback. Was going to say I know the number of a good cosmetic dentist if you ever want to get those teeth fixed?'

But I do feel your pain, OP, I have this issue where people always seem to feel they can pass judgment on my weight. It's beyond annoying and generally can leave you feeling a bit winded. Not sure what the answer is. I would quite like to lose a bit of weight (2 stone ish) but a) enjoy food and b) must have quite a slow metabolism and c) did I say I enjoy food?!

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