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To think mn has double standards?

(52 Posts)
Endlessmusings Fri 07-Apr-17 13:02:13

If I posted an outfit for example you'd probably get comments saying no one over the age of 18 should wear that etc

But if a male commented that a woman's skirt was too short then all hell would break loose and it's a woman's choice to wear what she wants.

Not everyone on here would say those two conflicting statements obviously, but still some would.

TheWitTank Fri 07-Apr-17 13:03:31

Life is full of double standards -not just on MN. It's just the way it is sadly!

whatsthecomingoverthehill Fri 07-Apr-17 13:04:43

Things aren't said in a vacuum. Who says it and the intent behind what is said matters.

MrsKCastle Fri 07-Apr-17 13:04:44

MN has a huge variety of people posting their own individual opinions, of course there are differences. I've seen people posting exactly the opposite of the two examples you give.

0dfod Fri 07-Apr-17 13:06:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gowgirl Fri 07-Apr-17 13:07:03

That's the beauty of mn, best to avoid aibu if it upsets you...

Renaissance2017 Fri 07-Apr-17 13:07:42

Look at the what's said when a woman has an affair compared to when a man has an affair. Definitely double standards!

glitterglitters Fri 07-Apr-17 13:07:51

I definitely think MN is an unfiltered version of real life. It can be a bit blunt at times and definitely has some interesting double standards. In a thread the op posts something about judging, forum members then post ripping OP a new one about being judgemental and totally judging them at the same time.

I don't think it's particularly menacing though, just the anonymity of the internet makes people write before they think.

SunshineOutdoors Fri 07-Apr-17 13:08:02

I think in your first example lots of individual posters on mn would be defending the right to wear what you want no matter what your age.

In your second example there may be individual posters on mn who say a too short skirt is not on.

I think the key is that mn is made up of individual posters so I don't think you can accuse it of having double standards as it's different individuals stating different opinions.

Trifleorbust Fri 07-Apr-17 13:09:00

Who would?

nancy75 Fri 07-Apr-17 13:10:30

Interesting thread a few days ago, wife was late home & op was worried - op got a bit of piss taking, why are you worried eye rolling until op revealed she was a she rather than the man most had thought. Replies suddenly became much more friendly

Endlessmusings Fri 07-Apr-17 13:12:30

That's the beauty of mn, best to avoid aibu if it upsets you...

Where do you think in my op that it comes across as I'm upset?

Endlessmusings Fri 07-Apr-17 13:13:28

You do know that mn is not a single entity don't you? Some people will say yay and some will say nay <shrugs>

Did you read the last part of my op or just decide to bypass it confused

LittleGreyMeow Fri 07-Apr-17 13:15:09

It was disgraceful Nancy, and horrible to read - the poor woman was worried out of her mind and was being made to justify her every comment, just horrible and full of projections that as it was a wife missing she must be a controlling man who was demanding to know where his wife was.

But thankfully many people did say it didn't matter at all if the spouse was male, as they too would be worried, and I'm just very glad the lady was found and hope she is making a recovery. I haven't been able to read it further as something similar happened to me and it is too triggering.

But back to the question smile MN isn't a collective hive mind, posters in AIBU seem to say that when they don't think they ABU, ask AIBU, majority of people say YABU and they get all flouncy and declare a hive mind ;) because nobody agrees with them

Orlantina Fri 07-Apr-17 13:15:37

I bet the same person could have completely opposite opinions on the same subject if it was worded slightly differently and presented from different perspectives.

glitterglitters Fri 07-Apr-17 13:16:53

Or asked in real life.

EpoxyResin Fri 07-Apr-17 13:25:28

Well in one of those situations someone would be asking for advice, and in the other they would be fielding an unsolicited judgement on their attire. If I ask for advice I don't mind if it's honest, but if I'm just going about my business and someone passes comment I'll probably tell them where to shove it. Does that clear things up?

TrippyMcTrapFace Fri 07-Apr-17 13:25:55

What WitTank said.
There do seem to be a lot of made up threads lately on one particular board here that are trying to prove a point about double standards....

0dfod Fri 07-Apr-17 13:26:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon Fri 07-Apr-17 13:40:05

Why have "endless musings" and the moment you get some kind of response, even a rhetorical question, blast the poster?

Oh , yeh, that's right, this is AIBU. With regard to your second and third posts, yes YABU.

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds Fri 07-Apr-17 13:41:57

But it does matter who says something. Words aren't just there in a vacuum.

Person A says 'Gosh, I'm so disappointed. I really hoped this cake I made would turn out nice but it's rubbish isn't it. I am no good at baking'.

Person B says 'Gosh. I'm so disappointed. I really hoped this cake you made would turn out nice but it's rubbish isn't it. You are no good at baking'.

Completely different message, even though it's the same words.

FerdinandsRevenge Fri 07-Apr-17 13:43:49

UM no?

This is a bit of a pointless post.

nelipotter Fri 07-Apr-17 13:50:57

Mumsnet? Double standards? Lol. Not just double but triple, twofaced, snipy and just plain weird.
Oh and sometimes the best chat you ever had.
Just go with the flow, if it's getting to you, lig off for a few days.

freeDeirdreRachid Fri 07-Apr-17 14:07:04

This is a bit of a pointless post.

How rude is that?

People can post what the hell they want. Don't try to shut down anyone's freedom of speech as "pointless".

FerdinandsRevenge Fri 07-Apr-17 14:12:32

I don't think you understand what "freedom of speech" means hmm

ANd yes, "don't some people on a site with millions of users think one thing and that ALSO some of them think this other thing! Ammirite??"

is so pointless.

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